A Colorful Collection of Passive Aggressive One-Shots
by quite-a-riot
Summary: A companion collections of one-shot stories that take place in the universe of Passive Aggressive Post-Its. The whole gang is here, and they're ready to party. Plus extra flashback scenes and some AUs of my AU...because how could I just choose ONE way for Natsu and Lucy to finally meet! Leave your frustration at the door and be satisfied there won't be a single cliffhanger!
1. The BSBU

**Here it is! One shot #1, The BSBU, as previewed in my other story. If you're stumbling onto this, you're totally welcome! but you're going to be super confused if you haven't read my other story, Passive Aggressive Post-Its, so you might want to tootle over and give it a read and come back...**

 **I will be posting a TON of one shots here during Nalu week (July 1-8) as a fun challenge I'm doing with ShanaHollows (we're shooting for 3 a day that week) so prepare yourselves and review to keep me going! However, just an FYI, due to the short nature of these stories and the fact that I will be posting TONS of them at the same time as continuing my schedule for PAPI (yeah, I didn't think that name out into an acronym before I started...so weird), I will not be able to answer all of the reviews on here. I'll probably still hit up some, and definitely any with questions, but just don't be sad that I didn't write back! Trust me, I'll read and love all reviews I get. PROMISE! Now the good stuff!**

* * *

Mirajane Strauss clinked her twisty metal bar spoon against the shot glass in front of her to call the meeting to order. The busty and well-tanned assembly of Magnolia's college co-eds ceased their high pitched conversations and turned to face the owner of Satan's Soul, the bar they had chosen for their home base.

The Body Shot Bitches Union (or the BSBU) had grown exponentially over the last couple of months. Who knew that the spunky group of women who had volunteered to help out Fairy Tail for their Gildarts bash would end up forming one of the largest all female unions in the country (after forgetting it all and reforming the group again post Moon Drip, of course)?

They held monthly meetings at Mira (their founder)'s bar. Every patent leather-covered seat under the red lights of Satan's Soul was occupied and the walls were lined with even more shot enthusiasts. While it had started as a simple club for body shot volunteers on college campuses in Magnolia, it had quickly expanded to include female bartenders from all over central and east Fiore and a few from even farther away. So far they had accomplished a lot: negotiated equal starting wages with their fellow male bartenders, started a business providing attractive and well-trained body-shot volunteers for events, and ordered matching customized uniform bikinis and t-shirts (with OMG just the cutest little bunny logo ever!).

Mira cleared her throat delicately and started the proceedings.

"I call to order the 5th official meeting of the Body Shot Bitches Union, formed to keep body shots flowing, fun, and flirty, while protecting our right as women to walk around half-naked without getting groped. Welcome to all continuing and new members. We will now take the traditional shot of tequila now, before I hand over the reigns to Secretary Milliana to read the minutes from our last meeting."

The women sitting down picked up the full shot glasses in front of them while those standing raised those they already held. As one they recited:

"We drink to those who love us,

we drink to those who don't.

We drink to those who fuck us,

and fuck those who don't!"

As Cana, an _almost_ charter member, circled the room with an empty tray collecting shot glasses, Millianna adjusted her ever-present cat-ear headband and began to read the previous meetings minutes.

"President Mirajane Strauss called to order the 4th official meeting of the BSBU and the minutes of the 3rd official meeting were read. Following the reading of the minutes, a motion to change the official shot from tequila to Jager was made, but not seconded as tequila is the chosen favorite of all true party-girls everywhere." Cana blew a raspberry, which everyone ignored. "Despite Cana's objections to the contrary. Following that, a motion was filed to open the admittance of foreign immigrants living and working in Fiore to our association. The motion was seconded and carried. Our newest member, Bisca, was inducted at that meeting." Millianna paused to smile at the green-haired bartender that Mira had hired a month or so before. It was clear she was their kind of people. The photographer had needed a quick job to help pay the moving bills until she got her studio setup, and Mira had offered her a job on the spot. Anyone who could pull off a bikini top in December and mix a martini that quick was bound to be a good hire.

Mira mostly hired on gut feeling. It didn't always work out for her…case in point, Cana. She was generally more trouble than she was worth. And drank her entire paycheck in free booze. But she had her upsides. Never getting drunk was at the top. It was always nice to have a bartender to push all the shot buying college boys on who would still be standing at the end of the night. However, she was also just as likely to end up in the backroom getting nailed by one (or more) of them before the night was through. But it was all worth it if it kept Cana distracted enough not to open her own bar in town. In Mira's eyes...totally worth the trouble. She didn't need that kind of competition.

"-and to conclude the last official meeting, the date for the next meeting was set and a celebratory round of shots was taken for Little Beth's 21st birthday and subsequent initiation into our society," Millianna finished up.

"The floor is now open for discussion," Mira said, clinking the glass in front of her again.

"Motion to throw out all the silly rules and talk like normal people?" Kagura's voice range out from the back wall.

"SECONDED!" just about every woman in the place replied.

"Passed!" Mira said with relief. They had tried. But that shit was just stupid. Millianna took out a glitter gel pen to finish taking notes with instead of the blue or black ink she was using previously.

Lisanna sidled up to her sister and asked in a hushed tone to her sister while the real meeting got underway, "Whose idea was it to use all those stupid rules anyway?"

"Oh, no one…" Mira said in an overly sweet voice with just a whiff of hostility wafting through to alert the casual bystander that she had anything but the most candid of intentions.

Meanwhile, Erza blissfully ate the cake she had received via personal messenger, with the niggling feeling that there was somewhere else she was supposed to be...


	2. When the Cuffs Come Off

**Alright! The very first one-shot of Nalu week! There will be three popping up here everyday this week, at least on of them directly related to Natsu, Lucy, or both! The others are just icing on the cake. And I won't be following the prompts. If they happen to line up...awesome. Now, here take it!**

 ***shoves short story at you***

* * *

 **When the Cuffs Come Off**

In which we follow Loke, Max, and Laki the morning after the Moon Drip Party

* * *

"So the way the shim works is actually pretty awesome. So, handcuffs have teeth that lock into place as they are pressed tighter, and are held in place by a locking mechanism with a key. But you can completely bypass the key with a thin strip of metal that slides down and blocks the teeth…" Loke's voice became muffled then, as he leaned into his closet and dug through the pile of t-shirts and jeans shoved into the closet. Max raised an eyebrow at the girl handcuffed to him.

Laki didn't notice. She was enthralled by Loke's explanation.

"...so you just whip the little guy in, next to the teeth, press in and hold it in with your thumb while you pull out on the cuff, and bam, you're free! Slick as anything!" Loke finished, turning to look in his desk drawer. He was trying to remember where he had last seen the tiny piece of metal he was describing...Veronica's apartment? No, maybe Denise's...though he had been getting handcuffed to a lot of stuff lately actually… "I used to have two on my keys, but someone borrowed that one and then…" He thought over the last dozen or so times he was restrained…

There was the lamppost in the park with... Maria.

The banister by the stairs to the second story of the Precht Center with...Jenny? Ginny!

The bathroom sink at Satan's Soul...that one really was all his fault...he should have realized he was trying to flirt with a cop.

And then there were the times at Fairy Hills… Loke blanched suddenly, remembering where his handcuff shim was.

"So, uh, guys, I totally forgot! I lost it. Yeah, it's gone. My bad!"

Laki and Max just stared at him.

"Where did you lose it?" Laki asked, curious. When she used cuffs it was usually in the privacy of her own dorm room. Though, looking around his room, she didn't see any really great places to cuff someone to...except maybe the hook in the ceiling... Laki's gaze snapped back to Loke with a new appreciation for the ginger. Max, on the other hand, just pouted and shook his handcuffed wrist.

" Why?! Nowhere! Nevermind! It's not important! Aaaaaaanyway, you guys should probably get going to the police station to get the key for those cuffs or you'll be hooked together for even longer which would be terrible right? Right! Bye!" Loke babbled, conspicuously trying to shove them out of his room before they could ask any more questions. But Laki stuck her foot in the door just in time to keep it from closing.

"Where did you get your handy handcuff freedom device? I don't want to be arrested for liberating some cop's handcuffs...plus, it really does sound like a useful piece of goods!" She smiled, letting a little of her speculation into Loke's sexual habits show. But, it was a testament to how freaked out Loke was, that he didn't even notice. He just shoved a business card into her uncuffed hand and shut the door.

Laki turned to Max, card in hand.

"Well, it says here they aren't open today...so, um, looks like we'll be cuffed together for at least the rest of the day…" Laki hedged.

Max's ears perked up at her tone and he froze for a second, adjusting his belt subconsciously.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah...so any ideas of what we could...do?" she blinked ridiculously long lashes at him. Max gulped and looked down at the handcuffs still tying them together. That was going to make things a little more difficult...or interesting… Making a decision, Max looked Laki in the eye and offered his cuffed hand to her in as grand a gesture as the short chain would allow. He was, after all, a showman to the core.

"Would you care to accompany me, my la-" Max was cut off as Laki grabbed his hands in hers and pushed him up against the nearest wall, promptly shoving her tongue in his mouth, and grinding her hips into his groin.

Fuck showmanship. Hot girl. Rubbing. Fuck.

Which was pretty much when Max's brain shorted out.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, Loke jiggled his leg as he pressed his phone to his ear and waited.

"Come on, pick up! PICK UP!"

"Hello?"

"Oh thank god! Gray! You've got to help me!"

"Loke? What's up? Where are you?"

"Doesn't matter. Here's the thing. You're friends with the Titania, right?"

"Erza? Yeah….dude, what did you do? Because I love you man, but there are only so many things I will take the blame for when it comes to Erza Scarlet!"

"No, nothing like that, I just…"

"..." Gray's expectant silence was so palpable it got its own quotations. "You gonna tell me what the issue is, or am I supposed to start guessing?"

"Ok, so do you remember Kagura?"

"Kagura? The one who gets off doin' the deed in places she shouldn't? Hot? Dark hair? Doesn't say much?"

"Yeah. Her. So, um, we hooked up about a week ago."

"Ok...what does this have to do with Er-OH GOD YOU DIDN'T!" Gray cut himself off as he realized what Loke must have done.

"It's not like it was MY IDEA! She has this vendetta or something against Erza! Something about her brother, I don't know! But she just _had_ to have sex in Erza's bed! And then her bathroom, and her balcony, and using her handcuffs, and it just spiraled out of control from there!"

"Dude! We have ONE RULE. One _fucking_ rule. And what is that _one_ fucking rule?!"

"I know I know! Don't piss off the Titania!"

"That's RIGHT! Don't piss off Erza Scarlet! Don't you like sleeping over at Fairy Hills?! Do you want to be put on her watchlist? BECAUSE SHE HAS A FUCKING WATCHLIST! Please, at the very least, tell me you didn't leave behind any incriminating evidence…"

"Weeeellllll…"

"GODSDAMNIT LOKE! WHAT DID YOU LEAVE?"

"The engraved handcuff shim that you got me for my birthday? Possibly? We couldn't find the keys, so I used it, and then we heard her coming and ran, and I must have left it! Gray! You've _got_ to help me. She can't have found it yet, or I'd already be dead. It was fucking obvious that someone was fucking all over her room!"

"Dude, I don't know what I can even do fo-"

"Just make up an excuse to go to her place and see if it's on the floor near the headboard! You're friends, so it won't be as suspicious coming from you! Please dude! My life and future unborn children are at stake here!"

Gray winced in sympathy. He didn't need reminders of how swift Erza's vengeance would be. He had seen it in action too many times to count.

"Please Gray! I will give you anything. Literally ANYTHING if you fix this for me." Something in Gray's brain went off like a lightbulb.

"Anything? Even... _that_?" Loke hesitated, but only for a brief moment.

"Yes. Even _that_ , ok? If that's what it takes to end this horrific nightmare, then it's yours!"

Gray grinned on the other end of the phone.

"You've got yourself a deal. Give me an hour."

"Done. I'll be in my room."

* * *

 _Approximately one hour later…_

Gray knocked twice before entering Loke's room, finding the ginger curled up in the corner of his loft bed, hiding under his comforter. He tossed the shim in question onto the bed next to Loke with a smirk.

"Dude, did you know Max and Laki are making out in the hall right outside your room?"

Loke waved his comment away.

"How did it go? Did she suspect anything?"

"Nope. Piece of cake."

"Really? That easy?"

"What? God no. It was terrifying. Presenting Erza with a piece of cake? Do you know how many ways that could have gone wrong? Shit, I almost dropped the damn thing as I handed it to her. Could've lost a fucking finger. But, whatever, it's done and you're in the clear."

"Thank you Gray! Seriously. You saved me. You are the best of all men. The bro-est of all bros!" Loke jumped down from his loft to clasp him fondly on the shoulder, already beginning to show signs of his usual charm and arrogance.

"Dude, I did not risk life and limb for your thanks. Where is it?"

Loke visibly wilted a bit. He had sort of been hoping Gray would forget, or change his mind. No such luck. Reluctantly, he handed over Gray's spoils of war.

Natsu burst into their room in his usual fashion, dropping his bag wherever and hanging up his scarf by the door. It was unusually dark for the middle of the day, as all of their blackout curtains were drawn. The room was lit by a single lightbulb in the old desk lamp set on the floor next to his roommate. Gray was seated in his desk chair, which had been pushed into the middle of the room and was stroking Happy with one hand while the other rested on a book. A book that Natsu knew all too well. He blanched.

"How do you have that?" he demanded weakly.

Gray smiled an evil little grin to complete the cheesy super villain persona he had carefully staged.

"I gave Loke an offer he couldn't refuse."

"Wait, did you murder a horse or something?"

"No, ti idiote, he called in a life debt and I demanded the book as payment. Jesus, do you seriously think people go around murdering horses and putting their heads in people's beds?!"

Natsu just waved him off, a haunted look in his eyes. Gray knew immediately what he was thinking.

"Yes, I know now."

"Fuck." The Fairy Tail book of secrets was an insurance policy containing the self-proclaimed secrets of its members to ensure their endearing loyalty to the house. The men of Fairy Tail were honor bound to write their most embarrassing secrets on their page in the book. No one seeing them all except the Keeper of the book, who willed the book to a new keeper when they left the house. Loke had been the keeper since Romeo's father had willed it down to his pledge father who had willed it to Loke. It was almost unheard of that the book changed hands during a Keeper's tenure in the house. Only in payment for a life debt or in a winner-take-all, no-holds-barred, mexican-stand-off for the life of an innocent was it acceptable for the book to change hands if not willed on. "And you read it? All of it?"

"Yeeeeees." Gray stroked Happy again before the smushy-faced cat leapt off of him, digging in his claws into his thigh. It took everything Gray had to remain straight-faced. Natsu barely noticed.

"Then...you know." Natsu's horror of the situation came through clearly in his voice.

"I do."

"Shit. What are you going to do with it?"

"I will not use this sacred item in petty revenge. Your secrets only have value as long as they are unknown. For now, you're safe. But know, there will be a day when you will be faced with something you absolutely do not want to do, and for the betterment of myself you will do it. Or suffer the consequences."

"Fine. Now, hide that fucking thing before someone finds out you have it and let's go get some food. Attempted social suicide always makes me fuckin' hungry."

Gray waited until Natsu left and lifted up his roommate's mattress. Feeling around, he popped open the loose board of the loft and nestled the book in among the socks he had been stealing and hiding from Natsu to make him believe the house dryer ate his socks as retribution for his picking it up and trying to shake out the quarters freshman year. He put the board back and dropped the mattress, ruffling up the sheets to their usual level of unkept.

Natsu ducked back into the room for his scarf, wrapping it around his neck as he glared as Gray.

"Come on ya icy bastard. Dinner's gonna be cold. Not that you'd care."

Gray just smiled and thought about the possibilities of his hard won spoils.

The pyro was right about one thing. Gray really did believe revenge was a dish best served cold.

* * *

 **ti idiote** -'you idiot' in Croatian. Obviously. lol


	3. Once You Go Black

**This is the shortest of the bunch. I wrote it a couple months ago as a joke to cheer up a friend, but I tried to add to it...and I don't think I can make it any better. It speaks for itself...lol**

* * *

 **Once You Go Black**

A stray memory from Max's previous life...

* * *

Max was having a peculiar dream. He knew he had been lonely lately, but how desperate for love did one have to be to dream about a broom?

Don't get him wrong, it was a lovely broom, teak with a deep espresso stain and varnish that glinted in the bar light as he swept up after last call. In fact, he would go so far as to say that it was the most beautiful broom he had ever laid eyes on. But the intimate nature of the relationship following that first realization changed Max's view on inanimate objects for many lives to come. In particular, he would always find that finely-turned, espresso-stained woodwork would always hold a sort of fascination for him.

After all, once you go black, you never go back.


	4. This Means War

**Alright! The last one shot of day one! This was actually the first thing I ever wrote for PAPI. The idea wormed its way into my head and left eggs there that hatched and made terrible noises until I had to start writing it down. Then I backtracked, started at the beginning, and well, the characters ran away with me in a different direction. But it's still one of my favorite Nalu chapters I've ever written, so I HAVE to share it with you guys. And I'll see you three times tomorrow for more one-shot madness!**

 **So, the scene is this: it basically takes place as though their second origins were never opened, so they can feel things and write things on their skin, but they don't get drunk from each other and they can't access the other senses. Gajeel and Levy met a different way, and bonded in the normal way in this version, though that never really comes up. Lucy did not go to Moon Drip, but Natsu did get shitfaced and Mira drew a dick on his face while he was sleeping. This was before I decided Lucy's dad was going to be a pain in the ass, so she's a lot more canon as far as her personality goes. They have NOT traded names or phone numbers, and have a strictly platonic relationship so far, where they deal with the inconvenience of being bonded to each other, but don't take advantage of the sexy fun times aspect...yet. Enjoy.**

* * *

Lucy couldn't stop grinning.

She had finally done it.

"Take that Dad," she mumbled as she turned her head in the mirror again to see the small cluster of pink stars she still couldn't believe she had tattooed at her hairline, just behind her right ear. Sure, it had hurt like hell to get, but that little patch of inflamed skin marked her independence for the world to see and it was worth every moment of pain.

"Well, bunny girl, I take it you got whatcha wanted...gihihi." Her best friend's boyfriend, Gajeel, paused cleaning up his tattoo equipment as he watched her grinning her face off into the mirrored wall of Black Steel Piercing and Tattoos, his pride and joy. "Took you long enough. You been talking about getting that tattoo since I met you."

"I know! I can't wait to show Levy!" Lucy squealed, still unable to take her eyes off her image in the mirror.

"Is it done?!" Levy's voice preceded her as she stuck her head through the door from the front desk. "I missed it?! Stupid customers taking forever to choose their stupid cliché shit…"

"Hey! Don't insult my customers, they're paying your library bill, Shrimp!" Gajeel glared at the petite blunette in a way that would have had anyone else trembling in their boots. Levy just put a little extra sway in her hips, smirked and sidled up to the black haired behemoth. With him sitting down, she was just an inch or two taller than him. Not for the first time, Lucy marveled at their size difference and giggled when Levy kissed him on the nose. Hearing the giggle, Levy remembered what had summoned her from the front desk and spun around.

"Lu, let me see!" she skipped over, clapping her hands a little as Lucy proudly pulled back her hair again to show her. To the ignorant masses, it looked like a cute arrangement of pink stars, but to the trained eye it had more significance. "Oooooh! You went with Leo! What made you finally pick that constellation?"

"I decided that I wanted to choose the one zodiac constellation that best represented by freedom from he-who-will-not-be-satisfied, and I left home in late July, so it had to be Leo. Plus, it was mom's favorite. How do you think the color came out? I wasn't sure about that pink at first, but-" Lucy suddenly cut herself off as she felt a familiar sensation on her left arm.

She quickly pulled up the sleeve to reveal words appearing on her forearm. Angry words.

 **WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!**

With a slightly mischievous smirk, she dug in her purse for a pen as Levy grabbed her arm to see what her mysterious skin-mate had written this time.

"Wait, Lu, did you not tell him you were getting a tattoo?" Levy gasped in shock.

"Nope! I was going to talk to him about it this morning, but the jackass let someone draw on him last night with permanent marker! Needless to say, my advisor was not amused when I showed up to our meeting with a dick on my face. So, he can suck it!" In stark contrast to her angry declaration, Lucy's grin grew as she uncapped her pink highlighter with an exaggerated motion and began to write below his message on her arm.

 _Got a tattoo…like it? I'm so very fond of pink…hope you are too!_

Lucy hesitated for a moment then added a smiley face with the tongue sticking out. She capped her highlighter and waited. It didn't take long.

 **you BITCH! I was driving! and I have girly stars on my neck! FOREVER!**

Lucy wasted no time in replying.

 _Stars don't have a gender dumbass. And it could be worse. Could be a dick on your face._

They were both writing bigger than usual, trying to overpower the other. At this point they were running out of room. His next words were written on top of her pink highlighter in his red pen, but she had no trouble reading them.

 **THIS MEANS WAR**

With a bravado the hair on the back of her neck did not fully support, Lucy stalked over to the sink in the corner of the room and scrubbed off the previous messages. Then in the biggest, girly-est block letters she could muster, she replied.

 _BRING IT_

It didn't take long to regret those words.

The first battle began with four solid days of waking up to find inappropriate words and pictures on every possible unreachable inch of her body. Different every day, but just as terrible to find and get to. He was clearly getting help.

The first day she hadn't even noticed her new personal billboard until after being asked out and leered at by just about every sleezy guy on campus. It was the adorable gay green-haired hipster in her modern poetry class who had finally pointed out that there were better ways to get laid then to have "Call me, I'm easy" as a tramp stamp. Curse her midriff baring tops! After that, she checked every inch of skin in her miniscule bathroom mirror before showering.

Levy had become an invaluable neighbor, scrubbing whatever affected skin Lucy could find in the morning and throughout the day, because her mysterious adversary could strike at any time. And always in permanent marker. The asshole.

The second day, he waited until she was eating lunch to scrawl an advertisement on her chest.

 **$5 A SQUEEZE! Get em while they're hot!**

It was like he knew she wore low-cut tops or something. She spent the rest of lunch hugging her chest and suspiciously glaring at everyone who walked by.

She learned to carry layers and rubbing alcohol everywhere with her. What she couldn't get off, she covered up.

But at least she wasn't taking it lying down.

She had agreed to refrain from wearing makeup since she had discovered this odd connection, as a courtesy to her partner in misery. But now…she had amassed quite the collection of waterproof eye products.

She went dark, heavy and feminine. As she traced her eyes in liquid eyeliner progressively earlier every morning to avoid his desperate effort to wash it off before it dried, she tried to picture the masculine face sporting her expertly crafted smoky cat eye.

She never succeeded. For some reason, even with her writer's imagination, she couldn't put a face to the messy scrawl she hadn't grown accustomed to in the last few months. Everything she thought of just felt wrong.

Bored in class one day, she had stumbled across a stroke of brilliance and spent her free time doodling pink hearts on her fingernails in Sharpie. Turns out it was a LOT harder to get off of one's fingernails. She had splurged and purchased a 64 pack of every Sharpie color imaginable and wasn't letting any of it go to waste. In addition to her nails, she drew large, looping vines of brightly colored flowers up her calves. She actually got kind of into it, adding to the drawings day by day. By the end of the fourth day or Lucy War I (as she was secretly calling it in her head), she had added a lion, a unicorn, and the words Peace, Hope, and Love. It was sickening in its little girl sweetness. One morning, getting out of the shower, she doodled hearts on her butt, just to see how it looked…maybe she would go get another tattoo…

Still, he always seemed to get one up on her.

* * *

On the sixth day, he almost got her arrested.

Halfway through Linguistics, two things happened, fire alarm went off, and her hands turned a sudden, and almost ultraviolet blue.

Startled, Lucy's yelp of surprise was drowned out by the piercing wail alerting them to a fire in the building. Desperately trying to wash her hands in her dwindling vat hand sanitizer, Lucy was dragged out of the building by Levy. Shortly after they left the building, Lucy was cornered by a very angry looking fireman, and was hauled out of the crowd with Levy still hanging on for dear life.

When Lucy left the dean's office, 2 hours later, from her interrogation with the fire marshal, her linguistics teacher, and the head of the disciplinary board, she thanked God again that Levy and her instructor were able to explain that while the indelible dye from the pulled fire alarm was indeed all over her hands, she wasn't, in fact, anywhere near it.

She didn't realize until she got back to her room, after purchasing some really stunning black lace gloves, what that meant.

He was here.

In her city. On her campus.

He was there! In the Humanities building. Today.

This changed everything. Up until now, there was no way to know who he was. He could be anyone, anywhere. Ever since that first real conversation, she had adamantly agreed they shouldn't reveal any personal information. It was just too risky. No matter how well she thought she knew him after months of communication, that didn't mean she really KNEW him. Hell, he could still be an ax-murderer. Or an arsonist, which seemed much more likely, considering the burns he got sometimes.

Though, to be fair, he had never resorted to pain in this war. That did say something about him. But now, knowing he was nearby, she couldn't stop her brain from wondering…did she know him? Did her know HER?

The final battle, which officially ended the Great Lucy War of x796 began on Saturday, one week exactly from when it started. Lucy was doing yoga at the crack of 11am in her living room with Levy (the blunette's apartment being too full of book stacks to leave room for standing, let alone posing) when she felt a searing pain just below her left shoulder blade.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! What IS that?!" Lucy screamed, seemingly out of nowhere, falling over from her previously flawless headstand into Levy, sending them both crashing to the ground.

"What the HELL Lucy?!" Levy started, but was almost immediately interrupted by more pained yelling from the contorting blonde maniac next to her, who was frantically clawing at her back through her fitted exercise top. When Lucy eventually stripped down to her sports bra, Levy was finally able to see what was going on.

"Oh no," she breathed, recognizing the black lines that turned Lucy's skin red and angry as they progressed inch by inch down her friend's ribs. "Lu, I think he won the war."

"WHAT DID HE DO?! This so uncomfortable! It feels like when I got my-" Lucy cut herself off as her hand flew to star tattoo and she realized what she was about to say. "That bastard is getting a goddamned tattoo ISN'T HE?!"

"I'm afraid so," Levy murmured as she helped Lucy lay down on her stomach and headed off to the kitchen to get a handful of painkillers and a bottle of sake. Settling down next to her friend she offered the pain killers with a glass of water, then refilled the glass to the brim with sake and put in a straw. Lucy took a massive swig of the potent liquor and winced as the curvy, nondescript black line wove its way over her ribs and down to her waist.

"Holy shit on a cracker Batman, this is going to be one seriously huge tattoo!" Levy remarked, her eyes glued to the line as it kept descending past Lucy's waist and paused at the waistband of her yoga pants. "Uh oh," she said again, hurriedly helping Lucy shed her pants, leaving the poor girl prostrate on her carpet in her racer-back demi-cup bra and matching cheekies. The line swung all the way down her hip and across her left butt cheek before heading back up her back, defining the outline of a yet unknown image.

Lucy took another gulp of sake and whimpered, turning her head to face Levy. Her eyes were watering from the burning pain and a couple of tears slipped down her cheek to puddle in the rental carpeting. Suddenly Lucy was struck by how disgusting her carpet probably was. Ug, gross. She definitely need more sake.

After the fourth or so low-ball of sake, Levy took it away and left for work, apologizing in between each step. About ten minutes after she left, Lucy saw blurry lines appear on her arm. When blinking rapidly just made the room spin, she held her head still in her hand and squinted at her arm.

 **If this is hurting you half as bad as its hurting me, we're even. Truce?**

She realized it was the first time he had directly written to her all week. In her warbly drunkenness, she realized she had weirdly…missed him. Lucy turned her head slowly back and forth, catching sight of her purse leaning against the couch near her feet. Knocking it over with a kick of her foot, she just barely managed to catch the edge of her favorite pink highlighter with her fingertips.

 _Fuckit, we both kno you won Nomore tattoos_

 **agreed no more tattoos.**

 _Wha isit anywa ?_ Not her finest hour, but she was really drunk.

 **Are you ok?**

 _DRUNK! U should try it hehe*scribble that turned into a flower*_ Yeah, definitely not her finest hour.

 **oh man I wish I could see you right now. would make the pain so much more worth it**

 _me tooo, im naked tho… ;)_

Lucy fell into a numb, itchy sort of sleep after that. As the torture continued for hours, she dreamt a floating red pen drew lines of fire on her back.

* * *

When she woke up, her tongue was fuzzy, it was dark outside, and there was a very loud pounding going on in her head.

Wait, no. The pounding was very real. Another round of knocking assaulted her door, and she begrudgingly rose to her feet and dizzily shuffled over to open the door that would feel her drunken vengeance! How dare it wake her up! At the last minute she remembered her nearly naked state and grabbed a blanket to wrap around her shoulders, wincing as the fleece pulled at the puckered, angry black and red lines now dominating her left side. She was met by one extremely surprised pizza delivery guy.

Lucy, in her still drunken haze, raised an eyebrow and grunted what could have been a question.

"Um, …hi? You're… Lucy Heartfilia right? …I've got your pizza?" the sandy-haired delivery guy said to her boobs. "It's…uh…already paid for and stuff…I just need a signature…" Lucy signed for the pizza she assumed Levy ordered with her credit card (that glorious blue-haired angel of a bibliophile!)

"Hey, wanna go out sometime?" the delivery guy oh-so-smoothly continued to ask her cleavage.

"Yeah, no way in hell," Lucy grumbled. She rolled her eyes, instantly regretted it as her head protested, and took the pizza from the guy with one blanket covered hand, slamming the door in his face with the other, unknowingly exposing her mostly naked body to the pizza perv in the process.

That night the Legend of the Hot-Naked-Chick-with-the-Dragon-Tattoo was born at Thunder Legion Pizza. Max's expectations went up by two cup sizes, and Lucy, for reasons she would never remember, received free bread sticks for life.


	5. Fairy Cats: Happy's Day Out

**The first in a series about the cats of Passive Aggressive Post-Its. Because cats are awesome.**

* * *

 **Fairy Cats: Happy's Day Out**

In which Lucy meets an annoying white cat.

* * *

Lucy was sitting under a tree, trying to be inspired, with nothing to distract her, but a pen and her notebook of story attempts when she met him. She had been minding her own business, when he had strutted up, cocky as hell, with his fluffy white tail, and his smushed in face, and ruined her perfectly lovely Saturday afternoon.

It had started out innocently enough, cute even, with the fluffy demon spawn in kitty-cat-clothing batting at the end of her pen. She had pushed him away and finished the sentence she had been crafting (nothing that was going to win any prizes with anyway) before he was back again, this time with claws, missing the end of the pen most times and catching her fingers with his sharp little daggers for fingers. So she bopped him on the nose. And yelled at him.

That shit hurt.

But he was back in an instant, this time going in with his teeth, gnawing on the end of the pen and attempting to wrestle it from her clutches. Lucy pushed the obnoxious beast away again, this time using her foot to get him even further away, glaring for a full minute, until she believe that he understood that she would not be relinquishing this pen any time soon. When the blonde believed the annoying cat had learned the error of his ways, she turned back to her notebook and tried to remember what she had been thinking of writing for the second half of that last sentence. She ended up crossing it out and starting the sentence again. Once her flow got interrupted, nothing but crap came out anyway.

But Happy, as the cat's name happened to be, was not deterred. Unbeknownst to Lucy, as she settled down and jotted down a few more sentences, crossing half of them out a minute later, he was very much still in the game. If the cat had any interest in the idiotic actions of non-cats, he probably would have been staring at her useless actions, bemused. However, he was on a mission. And, like most cats, only really enjoyed cat things. Like small dead animals. And hair ties.

This time, he stalked the target's movements, pupils blown wide and tail whipping back and forth in the grass as he hunkered down and determine the pattern in which his wily enemy moved. It was subtle. The little wand the non-cat waved around barely moved, but also never stopped moving. It would be a worthy adversary. He would conquer this test of his manhood, and bring the prize back for his lady cat friend. And then, she would finally come out of her clear cage and mate with him. Or cuddle with him. He wasn't picky.

After about thirty seconds (or in cat time, 6 hours) of watching the end of the pen bob around, he prepared himself. Happy hunkered down in the grass, becoming one with his surroundings. When he was sure no one could see him, he loosened up his hip and leg muscles, keeping them in motion constantly as he wiggled back and forth hypnotically. He focused on the prize, imagining the mushy, yet hard plastic that his teeth would soon be sinking into, and without realizing it, his tail flicked sharply back and forth, anticipating his triumph. He crept closer, keeping low to the ground until he knew he could make his entrance in one fell swoop and waited. Then, right there, he saw his moment! The non-cat imprisoning the target swung it out of pattern and he leapt into the air, grabbing the pen in his teeth and jerking it from her stunned fingers as he sailed through the air in a perfect arc to land behind the tree, instantly readjusting his prize as the non-cat clambered to her feet and came after him, prompting him to grab his prize and book it off the big green grassy area covered in sprawled out or more playful non-cats.

He didn't stop running until he got home with his pen, batting the broken latch on Natsu's window in a practiced way, pushing on the well greased panel with his head until he could slip through. His favorite non-cat was at Happy's favorite sunning platform, typing away furiously on Happy's butt-warmer with one hand while the other held a cup of the hot stuff that smelled like burnt nuts. It wasn't that good, so the his favorite non-cat could keep it, that was fine with Happy. He leapt from the walking ledge at the window, onto his non-cat's head and then to his favorite sunning platform, wiping his feet on the stack of uncrumpled ball toys as he made his way to his pile of treasures. But he didn't quite make it.

"What have you got there buddy?" Natsu grabbed his cat around the belly and lifted him off the desk, prying the pink pen from his mouth. The little white cat surprised him by swiping his paw at Natsu to get it back, claws fully extended. The swipe caught him across the fingers making him hiss and drop the cat. Happy promptly circled the desk and hopped back up, trying for the pen again.

Natsu shook his fingers, noticing the similarity between the markings that had mysteriously appeared through his bond with Lucy in the last half an hour and the fresh scratches from his normally loving cat. Eyes widening, he eyed Happy, sitting smack dab in the middle of his laptop keyboard, swishing his fluffy tail back and forth and then brought the pink pen closer to examine it. It just seemed like a regular pen. He couldn't figure out why the cat wanted it so badly. He twirled it in his fingers, stopping when he saw two tiny interlocked hearts and a line of text that read Heartfilia Hotels.

No fucking way.

He stared wide-eyed at his cat for a minute, one hand scrubbing through his slightly grimy pink locks out of reflex. He opened up one of his desk drawers and carefully placed the chewed up pink pen in on the bed of movie ticket stubs, event badges, and knick-knacky nonsense he couldn't seem to throw away, closing the drawer carefully, to Happy's frustration. Natsu scratched behind the cat's ears again, narrowly escaping another vicious attempt to maul him for confiscating the cat's prize.

Then a thought occurred to Natsu and his face screwed up in annoyance.

"Damnit Happy! Even you got to meet her before I did!"


	6. Fairy Cats: Panther's Night In

Fairy Cats: Panther's Night In

Gajeel set the tin of cat food on the floor next to the bowl of kiwi, so his stubborn cat would have something to eat when he was done throwing up the kiwi on the fire escape, and settled his butt into the spot he had carefully cultivated for it on his beat up leather couch. He had just started an old episode of Battle Bots, illegally streaming through his computer to his TV, when there was a knock at his door.

He turned around and looked at it for a second, his eyebrows pulling down in confusion. He wasn't expecting anyone. If he had to get off his comfortable couch for another Zentopian Church Recruiter trying to fucking convince him to donate his hard earned money so they could sit around on their asses all day, he would fucking hit someone. And they wouldn't be getting up. The last guy had even tried to steal his fucking keys! They were all nut-jobs.

He wished he'd known there were so godsdamned many of them in that building before he signed the lease.

The knock came again, this time a little louder, accompanied by a voice he didn't expect.

"Gajeel? Are you home? It's Lucy!"

Gajeel rolled his eyes at the blonde on the other side of the door. Like he couldn't tell who it was. His apartment wasn't that big.

"Please, uh, if you're there could you maybe open the door? There's a guy out here who I'm pretty sure is going to try to kidnap me or something…" she said, beginning to panic. "He has duct tape!" she whisper yelled.

That got Gajeel off his couch and to the door. That fucking church had actually had some members arrested last year for kidnapping, it made the national news. He jerked the door open and gestured her roughly inside.

"Get in."

"Oh my gods, thank you." Lucy darted through the opening and spun, seeing the guy who had been creeping down the hall behind her droop in disappointment. She shivered.

Gajeel eyed her in silence for a minute as she looked around his apartment, setting her purse and a small notebook on his kitchen counter. Then he couldn't stand it anymore.

"What the fuck are ya doin' here Blondie?" His words made her jump a little, her shoulders stiffening defensively.

"What, didn't Levy text you? She left her textbook for tomorrow's first class here and she's neck deep in a research project at the library. She asked me swing by and pick it up for her."

Gajeel grabbed his phone out of his pocket and checked his text messages. He had no new messages. But that didn't mean Blondie was lying. His little shrimp of a girlfriend got distracted pretty easily and forgot to hit send about half the time. He sighed.

"Well, did she tell you where she left it? Or which one it is? Because she's left so many books here, I'm thinking of buying a bookshelf to keep them on," he grumbled. Just then, a particularly screeching noise of metal on metal erupted from the massive speakers on either side of his TV. Gajeel didn't fuck around with inferior sound equipment. Lucy immediately craned her neck over to see what he was watching. Gajeel braced himself for prissy-rich-white-girl-judgement.

"OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW!" her squeal left his ears ringing as the girl hopped over the back of his couch, thankfully taking off her shoes first. She plopped down and leaned forward. "Oh man, what is this, season 2? I haven't seen Vlad the Impaler in AGES!"

"When the fuck did _you_ start watching Battle Bots?!" he questioned the blonde making herself comfortable on his shitty couch in her matching gym outfit. Did she even go to the gym?

"I used to watch with my bodyguard when I was little. We even made our own and fought them once. It was so much fun. Til my governess took them away."

"Huh." Gajeel's brain sort of...stalled, as he watched his girlfriend's peppy best friend yell, "Push him into the kill saws!" He eventually sat slowly back down in his spot on the couch again. Throughout the match, he kept sneaking glances at her, still sort of expecting her to forget that she was too cool for this shit before grabbing Levy's book and bolting.

The first match ended, and there was a crash from the kitchen. Which seemed break the murderous robot spell holding her and remind her why she had come in the first place. Her face turned a little red and she leapt up from the couch.

"Oh gods, I'm sorry. I totally invaded your space. I just haven't seen that show in forever...it kind of sucked me in." She smiled sheepishly and turned to the other corner of the room, where she picked a textbook out of the stack Levy had started there. "Anyway, I've got the book, so, I'll just go…" Her voice trailed off as she turned back to the kitchen to see Gajeel's usually very sedate black cat rolling around in a mess of stuff from her purse, all four paws wrapped around one of the pink pens she still kept in her purse from her family's hotels, as he gnawed on the cap. Gajeel came up behind her and laughed in disbelief as his badass ex-stray, scarred-up street cat tossed the pen away and pounced after it clearly pretending he was in a fierce battle against prey of the wiliest kind like a frisky kitten.

Lucy stooped to clean up the mess her purse had made, sweeping all the junk she carried around into a pile and dropping it into her bag haphazardly. She didn't even try to get the pen from his cat. Gajeel suspected the scratches on her hands might have had something to do with that decision. She grabbed the book again and shuffled to the door, her eyes involuntarily being drawn back to the battle of murderous robots still continuing in the other room.

"So, um, sorry for bothering you. And for making such a mess of your kitchen. It was nice of you to let me watch Battle Bots with you. I'll just go get this book to Levy…" she trailed off, with a small nervous smile, looking him in the eye for the first time since she had gotten to his apartment. It was just for a split second, but that one moment was enough. He was suddenly back in the 90s Escalade with his fellow gang members, looking her right in the eye the moment before he stole her life. Guilt swamped him. Which was his only explanation for what he did next.

"Hey, Blondie, if you want, you can stay and watch the rest of the episode. You know, if you want. I was thinking of ordering a pizza. And the shrimp doesn't need the book tonight, right?" He didn't know what surprised him more, that he had said that, or that he didn't regret saying it. She got as worked up cheering for the robots as he usually did. It might be kind of fun watching the show again with her, with her ever present enthusiasm directed at something he could get behind for once. And if he felt a little better, knowing he was doing something, no matter how small, to make up for what his past self had done to her past self, then that was...whatever. Good, he guessed.

Lucy's mouth, opened and closed a couple of times, her eyes finally darting to the screen with a look of longing. A small smile quirked up her lips and she looked him in the eye again.

"I would love to. But the pizza's on me. You're providing the entertainment, so I'll get the food. That's what friends do right?" she grinned up at him earnestly, but there was something in the way she said it that made him wonder if she was really asking.

For a second, her earnest face reminded him of Natsu Dragneel of all people, as a kid, introducing himself on the first day he had come to the gym. He had had an identical look of innocence and slight uncertainty. Like he didn't know exactly what to do and was worried if he was doing it right. Making friends that is. Of course, Gajeel had learned pretty quickly what Natsu's past was like, and that he really _didn't_ have a clue how to interact normally with other kids. And that the gym was part of his therapy.

It made him look at the blonde getting comfortable on his couch again a lot more closely. Which he did sporadically over the rest of the episode, occasionally grunting out questions about what she was going to order on the pizza, or what Levy was working on.

It was almost flawless, but he eventually found a crack in her cheerful mask. She bit her lip whenever she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She watched him more carefully than a normal person would, picking up cues from him so she could answer his questions reasonably normally. He wasn't going to say anything, but Panther chose that moment to hop up onto his arm of the couch, dropping the pen on the arm and laying securely on top of it before turning to look at Lucy. He stayed that way for a long time, watching the girl cheer and heckle at the television like a pro.

Panther stared at the new non-cat on his squishy laying place, finally determining that she was not a threat. She brought the yummy smelling toy with her, so he already had a soft spot for her. But she didn't move around as much as the smaller non-cat like her did. She was tucked into a tiny ball at the end of the couch, tense and proper. She was behaving like a new cat, who sensed that she was not welcome in a new colony. Panther had seen a lot of her kind on the streets. It was better not to trust new cats on the street. Smart.

But she was a non-cat. And an inside non-cat to boot. She didn't need to worry about being attacked for her food. Non-cats of their size didn't do that. Not like the little, delicious, flying non-cat food did. Panther looked at his brother non-cat, the one that fed him the delicious green stuff that just wouldn't stay in his stomach, to see if his hackles were raised. He would know if this new non-cat was a danger. But brother non-cat was as relaxed as he normally was. Maybe he didn't notice the other non-cat's odd behavior. Panther reached out a paw and hit brother non-cat on the arm to get his attention. Then he meowed, switching his gaze to the new non-cat.

Gajeel smirked. His cat had even noticed Lucy was acting weird. The little black warrior kept staring at her, like he couldn't figure her out.

Three episodes in and halfway through the pizza, Gajeel eventually couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey, Blondie. You don't have to do that you know."

"Do what?" she turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised as she folded her current slice in half and took a huge bite.

"Pretend to be normal. I grew up with a bunch of kids who didn't get a chance to be kids. None of them knew what to do either, so it really doesn't bother me. Just ask or whatever if you need to. It's cool." He turned back to the screen and yelled in appreciation for a particularly brutal beatdown. He almost missed her quiet thanks, but he definitely didn't miss the way she instantly relaxed, leaning back into the couch and dropping her shoulders back. He smirked and joined her in yelling for FrostBite to kick the crap out of Overkill.

Panther relaxed too, happy that the new non-cat wasn't bristling anymore. He knew brother non-cat would fix it. All was right in the world. He had a full bowl of food he hadn't even had to hunt for, brother non-cat nearby to scratch that one place he couldn't reach, and most importantly, he had won his battle against the delicious smelling stick. All in all, a great night.


	7. Fairy Cats:Fairy Tail of the Dead Caaats

**Fairy Cats: Fairy Tail of Dead Caaaaats!**

In which we find out whats going on. (no cats were harmed in the making of this one shot)

* * *

Lucy was losing it. Everywhere she went, cats were following her.

They assaulted her in the park. They attacked her purse in line at her favorite hot dog vender. They swiped at her fingers and stole her pens every chance they got. And they weren't being nice. Even the nice cats she recognized around campus had turned into vicious little hunters, not content until they had tasted her blood. And sometimes, not even then.

She was beginning to think there was some zombie virus affecting the cats on campus, turning their eyes black and giving them a taste for human flesh.

Because it just wasn't normal to have an entire clowder of cats chasing her around campus, right?! RIGHT?!

Yeah, it had been happening for so long now she had looked what a group of cats was called, just so she could describe it most accurately to the campus police. Though, that had kind of backfired. As when she had stepped into their office, exclaiming with shifty eyes that a clowder, or clutter, or glaring (apparently all correct terms for murderous groups of cats) of wild domesticated cats were after her, they had laughed her out.

So Lucy had taken matters into her own hands.

Meaning she was crouched under a stone bridge, just off campus, clutching a full spritz bottle full of water in each hand, surrounded by fluffy carnivorous enemies. She was spraying as quickly as she could, but they just seemed to keep on coming. Running out of water in one of her sprayers, and seeing the other dwindling toward the end, she thrust a hand into her purse and pulled out her phone, selecting Levy quickly from her favorite contacts, just in time to spritz a russet tom with a blue collar who had taken her moment of weakness as an opportunity to go for her bag. He fell back, licking at his paws and using them to get the water from his whiskers.

Happy bumped into Lector playfully, mocking him for his inability to get anywhere near the magical non-cat who smelled so good. If he had been in his right mind, he might have been more upset that all of these other cats had invaded his turf. The blonde, squishy non-cat and her fun pink sticks that smelled like heaven were his! He had marked her first, a week ago, and now every cat he knew was shouldering in on his find.

But when a wave of that delicious odor came over him again, he found all he could think about was getting closer and finding the source of that glorious smell! His favorite non-cat had taken away the pink-stick-toy-thing he had stolen, so he was left to beg and fight for it with the posers that had arrived over the week.

The only one of the group he didn't resent was a cat almost as white and fluffy as he was. She was the beautiful thing he'd ever seen, with a pink bow on her collar, and clearly not a street cat, groomed to perfection. But she had been showing up every day with a black tom who looked like he'd crawled out of an alley. Happy couldn't even get close.

Meanwhile, Lucy had finally gotten ahold of Levy.

"Oh, thank Bast! Levy, you answered! You have got to help me! They're everywhere! I'm surrounded and trapped! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

"Who?! Who's got you surrounded?! Your dad's men? Are they kidnapping you? Are you hurt?! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Levy said back in a panic, dropping what she was doing.

"What? NO! Levy, its the cats! They're everywhere! I can't move and I'm almost out of ammo! I don't know what is going on with them, but I can't seem to shake them! They. Just. Keep. COMING." Lucy was close to tears as her spray bottle sputtered.

Levy chuckled nervously as her eyes slid guiltily to her kitchen counter, where a big bag of catnip and a collection of items from Lucy's apartment sat, not so innocently, glaring at her. It had started when she found the bag of catnip on clearance. It seemed like the perfect, untraceable prank...so she had started with Lucy's pens.

First it was just the cheap Heartfilia Hotels rollerballs that she had opened up and filled with the potent herb. And watching Gajeel's cat stalking her purse every time Levy could lure her over there had been super amusing.

So she had expanded the project, _borrowing_ small articles of clothing (tops, socks, hairties) and putting them in plastic bags with the stuff overnight before inconspicuously returning them to her best friend's apartment.

Then, when that had begun to attract the random cats on campus, she had gone wild, sprinkling it into the pockets of her purse, under the insoles in her shoes, and mixing it into her shampoo.

In hindsight, Levy realized she had probably taken it too far. And now she had put her friend in a dangerous (fucking HILARIOUS), but terrifying position. Guilt swamped her and she bit her lip, trying to figure out a way to help her friend without giving away that this whole dillemma was all her fault...

"Lucy! Listen! Grab anything important from your purse and put it in your pockets or your bra. Then take off your shoes and socks, and throw the purse, shoes and socks as far away from you as you can. When the cats go for the purse, run as fast as you can back to your apartment!"

"What?! Levy! Why would they care about my purse or my shoes?!"

"Lucy, do you want to live?! Just trust me! Do it!"

"OK! I'm doing it. But you're buying me a new purse. And new tennis shoes. These are freakin new!"

"Deal, now do what you've gotta and come home!"

"I need my hand so I'm hanging up. We who are about to die, salute you!"

"Or not…" Levy muttered replying to the famous gladiatorial phrase with the emperor's lesser known response. But Lucy didn't hear it as she hung up the phone. Levy sighed as she heard a chuckle from the doorway behind her, turning to look sheepishly over at Gajeel, who had heard most of the conversation.

"You gonna stop pranking people now?"

Levy pouted, petulantly refusing to admit that her little prank had gotten out of hand. It just made him laugh again, harder this time. He couldn't resist sweeping her up in hug and kissing the top of her head, before grabbing a beer from her recently restocked fridge and heading back into her bedroom, where he had installed a small television he was watching some cooking show on.

Levy started to follow him, but backtracked after a second, sweeping the bag of catnip into the trash and dropping the already catnipped clothing items into her laundry basket.

There. With the evidence against her tucked away, she could spend the afternoon in peace with her boyfriend. Lucy would be fine.

Probably.


	8. Not So Lucky Lucy

**Not So Lucky Lucy**

In which a five-year-old Lucy makes a deal the Heartfilia way.

* * *

"Lucy! Just hold still for another minute ok? Just until they take the picture? Come on honey, smile! No, not at me, at the camera! Come on baby, we just need one good one for the portrait artist to use and then you can run around all you want!"

Nothing Layla said made the slightest bit of difference, as her squirming five-year-old proceeded to stand up on the chair she was sitting on, holding the back and showing her ruffly underpants to the camera as she prepared to step backwards off of a chair raised three feet off the ground. Which was about four times taller than one of her little legs.

But that wasn't about to stop little Lucy. She was done with this nonsense and not even Mommy could make her stay.

Layla swooped in and scooped her up, just as she let go of the chair, sure that the ground was right below her feet. Normally Mommy was fun to cuddle with, but when she'd been sitting in her itchy dress for the last twenty minutes getting cajoled while a pudgy lady made faces at her and told her to look at the stupid rabbit that didn't even do anything, cuddling with Mommy was just another form of 'still', the one thing she didn't want to be. And the only thing everyone else seemed to be interested in.

Then Mommy put on her bargaining voice, and Lucy stilled for a moment. She knew what happened with Mommy's bargaining voice. Either someone was about to give her Mommy what she wanted, or Mommy was about to make Lucy's day a whole lot better. She kept her mouth in a pout, and her arms crossed. She knew what she had for bargaining chips, and Mommy didn't bargain with her often.

"Lucy, sweetheart, if you sit back in the chair and smile directly at the camera for five whole minutes, you can run the whole hotel for a whole hour."

Little Lucy Heartfilia's eyes lit up in speculation as she thought over her options. Now five minutes was an AWFUL long time to sit still. But, from what she remembered, an hour was even longer. Almost twice as long even, and she did love to run...especially in the hotel, where there was always another person around the corner to hug and a new babysitter to run after her who didn't know her special tricks while Mommy and Daddy went to do boring adult stuff. And Mommy had said she could run the WHOLE hotel! That meant a trip to every floor on the elevator! That was like twice the fun too! Overall, not a bad deal.

But her Daddy had told her never to accept the first offer she was given. Heartfilias were never chimps. Whatever chimps were. Anyway, she remembered that she wasn't supposed to say yes right away. That was the important part.

"Uuuuuuhm, no." she finally said. Mommy's eyebrow came down. Uh oh, what did she do? OH!

"NO THANK YOU! I MEAN NO THANK YOU MOMMY!" The eyebrow went back up. Phew. That was a close one.

"Why not?" Mommy asked. Silly Mommy, didn't she listen to Daddy? He was so smart!

"Cause Daddy says never take the first deal Mommy. Didn't you know!?" Well, if Mommy didn't know, then SOMEONE had to tell her. Daddy only ever told her important stuff.

"Ah, I should have known," she said, trading a look with the weary photographer. "Damnit Jude," she muttered under her breath.

"Wha's damnit mean?"

"Ok, honey, how about this. If you sit in the chair for _four_ minutes, without squirming and smiling nice and wide, then you can run the _whole_ hotel for a _whole_ hour. How does that sound?"

Lucy counted on her fingers. Four was a whole finger less than five, wasn't it? She was five, and she used to be four...right? She wasn't sure.

"Mommy?" she tried to whisper, putting her hand next to her face, like she'd seen grown-ups do, but failing to block her mouth at all. "Is four less than five?"

"What do you think?" Lucy examined Mommy's face carefully. She was a lot better at this game than Daddy. Daddy was always not smiling when she was wrong. Mommy smiled either way.

"Yes?" she tried, pretty sure she was right.

"Yes, honey, you're right, four is less than five."

"OK! Then DEAL!" she exclaimed, sitting up straight in Mommy's arms and sticking out her hand, like Daddy told her to, when she made deals. The photography quickly snapped a picture. If only to record the most adult expression she had ever seen a kid make.

And she ran a child's portrait studio.

Layla Heartfilia exaggeratedly shook her daughter's little hand and set her down on the chair again, fluffing out her dress and running her fingers through her thin blonde, carefully curled - yet already falling - ringlets until they were presentable.

"Ok, your four minutes starts now. Smile at the camera!"

And Lucy did exactly as she was told. Heartfilias never welched on a deal. Just like the guy who made grape juice!

An excruciating four minutes exactly later, the photographer had gotten all the shots she needed, plus some, and was staring in awe at Layla Heartfilia, as she helped the previously squirmy little girl hop sedately off the chair and took her hand. In all her years as a photographer, she had never seen a child act like that. It was like she was possessed. Or an adult trapped in a kid's body. But it definitely wasn't natural. She was damn sure about that.

Then she heard little Lucy Heartfilia turn to her mother with a wicked smile and ask again in a deceptively sweet voice,

"Mommy, wha's damnit?"

Nope, kids were evil no matter who they were.

"Layla, you told her she could do what?"

"I made a deal with her that she could run the hotel for an hour."

"You mean, she wanted to sit behind a desk and tell people what to do for an hour? Really?! That's wonderful! Why isn't she doing that?"

"No Jude, don't be stupid. She wanted to physically run around the whole hotel for an hour. She's a child, not an intern."

"And why did you tell her she could do something like that?"

"Because I needed something _she_ wanted to get her to do what I wanted! And it would have been a hell of a lot easier if you hadn't told her to always refuse the first offer, by the way. Why are you teaching our daughter bartering tactics?! It's all I've got to keep her in control anymore!"

"Because she's a Heartfilia! The earlier we start her, the better," Jude pontificated, bursting with pride at his little business woman. And then he remembered where that little Heartfilia was at the moment. "But that's beside the point! Why did you let her run off in the first place?"

"We needed her to sit still for the photograph for the portraitist! She was totally done with it all, and we didn't have a single good shot! It's not like the Christmas picture where we just pick the one where she's making the cutest yucky face and call it good! It has to be perfect! She has to be the perfect all-around darling of the hotel industry. Her sweet little face has to make other parents believe that if they bring them to our hotels they will be just like the little angel displayed in the lobby. And we didn't have the shot yet. So I did what I had to. Like I always do." Layla glared at Jude, daring him to challenge her on this. What she didn't realize was that Jude was already past it, more concerned about what he was seeing on the security monitors in front of him.

"Oh my god, now she's turned over a laundry cart! She's five! She's only FIVE! How is she even doing this?"

"Honey, she's being supervised by Stier, the concierge, and ten energetic bellboys. She's fine."

"Yes, but will my hotel be fine by the time she's done with it?" he whined, his voice cracking as he saw the little demon rip her dress off over her head, in favor of a towel worn like a toga. "And now she's naked. Great. You let her watch Hercules again didn't you?"

"Oh hush. And she's fine. The hotel will survive the next…" she checked her watch, waiving off his concerns, "fifteen minutes!" Suddenly the towel bedecked hellraiser ran into a ballroom, pulling a tablecloth full of linens and candles off of a table set up for a wedding that afternoon. The tablecloth almost immediately caught on fire. "Hopefully."

Stier swiftly entered the picture right behind her, making no attempt to catch the little girl, but dumping a pitcher of water over the small flame and then jogging out the door after her again as she continued on the move. She had definitely taken the _whole_ hotel bit to heart. This was her eighth floor already and she was heading to the elevator again. It was actually sort of amazing that she hadn't gotten lost at all. She seemed to be able to find that elevator again like she was drawn to its gravity. Back in the ballroom, the concierge directed half the busboys to follow Hurricane Lucy, and the other half to reset the ruined table. Then, having barked out his final order he stomped after Mr. Stier, wiping sweat from his brow and vowing never to have children.

"This is ridiculous," Jude huffed, worry creasing his face as he saw his daughter sliding down a bannister backwards, Stier appearing at the opportune moment to catch her at the bottom. How she had even gotten up there in the first place was a mystery! She was only 40 inches tall for gods' sakes!

"Well, honey, what would you rather I had done? Gone and "welched" on a deal? Something even our little gorilla knows a Heartfilia never does? Though, to be fair, she thinks it's something that the "juice man" does."

Jude looked sheepish at that one, but also proud. He had the smartest daughter anyone had ever seen. He just dared anyone to prove otherwise. She was going to do great things.

"Fine. I see your point. But can you maybe not offer the whole hotel next time? This little escapade is going to cost us a fortune."

"Then it will cost us a fortune while your daughter has the best day of her life, Jude. Not _everything_ is about money, _dear._ " Jude rolled his eyes and left the room, going back up to the meeting room in which he was conducting a meeting of the board in about a quarter of an hour.

Layla stood guard over the security cameras, with one eye on her watch, until there were only two minutes left. Then she grabbed the walkie-talkie on the counter and signalled Stier.

"Two minutes. Over."

"Copy that Mrs. Heartfilia. Over." Stier's voice came over the walkie loud and clear, somehow managing to sound suggestive with even only those few words, the perv. Stier had been with her family a long time, so unfortunately, certain personality traits would always have to be overlooked. He was family. Turning to the intercom system for the public areas of the hotel, Layla flipped the right switches and cleared her throat into the mic. Lucy Heartfilia, please report to the lobby in two minutes. Your hour is up in _two minutes_." Then she put down the mic and flipped off the switches. Watching the monitor just long enough to see her ever practical daughter run back to her bodyguard and demand a piggy-back ride to the lobby, Layla exited the room, swiftly taking the private elevator from the security suite to the ground floor, coming out of the elevator, just as Lucy, riding the shoulders of her bodyguard came to a stop.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look at my cow!" she giggled, tugging on the large man's ears. He winced and carefully pried her fingers loose, setting the child down on the floor in her towel toga. From behind Layla, Lucy's nanny hurried out with one of her everyday play dresses and a pair of sandals, Lucy having lost the old ones somewhere in the hotel.

"Not a horse?" Layla inquired, turning her gaze on Stier. She was starting to wonder if he had been teaching her Dutch again, his name meaning Taurus in his original language. But discovered is was a much simpler answer.

"But he's spotted! Just like a cow!" Lucy exclaimed, pointing up at his usually white t-shirt as her nanny pulled the new dress over her head. Layla examined the shirt and found that her daughter as absolutely right. The buff bodyguard had black spots all over his t-shirt, and even one on his face. She raised an eyebrow at the man who sheepishly pulled off his soiled shirt and put on the new one the nanny had brought for him. Pretty much every female in the vicinity zeroed in on him when the shirt came off and sighed in frustration when the new one went on, Layla included. She loved her husband, but he couldn't compare to the kind of muscles that man was master of.

"Do I want to know?" she teased playfully.

"Nope," he replied, grinning at her for a moment before clearing his throat and resuming his usual professional stance. He looked down at the newly clothed Lucy and gave her a salute, questioning her with his best drill sergeant voice,

"And, Colonel Lucy, do we ever tell what we've been up to? Even under pain of torture?"

Lucy immediately stood up straight, putting on a stern face, with her lips perhaps a bit too puffed out and raised her hand in what was clearly supposed to be a salute, and chirped out,

"No Sir!"

Layla giggled, watching her little princess hold her salute and stare down the giant man. Many full grown men couldn't withstand the glare he was leveling at her.

"That's Mommy's Lucky Lucy, right honey?" she said, the laughter tickling at her throat to get out again.

Lucy looked at Stier, who raised an eyebrow and questioned her again,

"Well, Lucy, what do we say about luck?" Her eyes lit up and she grinned as she forgot and dropped her salute. She giggled adorably before yelling out her answer.

"It's not luck, Mommy! It's all skill!"

* * *

 **Hehe, and you all thought it was going to be sad from the title! Admit it!**

 **Ok, so my first thought was that it would be sad. But then, LITTLE LUCY BECAME SO ADORABLE! and I couldn't make her cry. So sue me. Angst is just not my thing.**


	9. Fairy Cats: Millianna, Meet, Millianna!

**Fairy Cats: Millianna, Meet, Millianna**

In which Millianna gets a birthday surprise.

* * *

"But I don't understand Erzie! Why are we going to see a witch again?!" Millianna pouted as she was dragged along behind Erza, not even trying to tug her wrist out of the much strong woman's iron grip.

"We're not really going to talk to Ultear, we're just going to her house. And she's Wiccan. Witch is politically incorrect," the redhead replied, frowning a little at Millianna, but finding it hard not to start grinning. The young woman in her grip had no idea what she was in for. She was going to be _so_ excited!

"Witch, Wiccan, potato, tomato. Whatever. But why are we even here? Did she get me something for me birthday?!" The cat-ear-headband-wearing-girl perked up a little at the thought, her step gaining a little bounce.

"Not exactly, but I promise, you'll like it."

"Ok, if you say so..." the freshman said doubtfully. She loved Erza like a sister, but her idea of fun was not always the same as Millianna's. Or anyone's really.

They turned the corner and down the walk of a big Victorian house. Millianna raised an eyebrow. It looked like a pretty normal house for a witch to live in, though maybe a little more intricate and brightly colored than even a normal house would be.

Millianna pouted a little. The witch's house was a bit of a letdown so far. No cobwebs or anything. Erza finished dragging her all the way up to the maroon front door before releasing her and knocking firmly. It opened a moment later to reveal a beautiful young woman with black hair.

"Hello Erza, can I help you with something?" The question was directed at Erza, but her eyes were on Millianna, flicking quickly up to the cat ears she wore before returning her attention to the fierce redhead in front of her.

"Yes. Ultear, this is Millianna," Erza said proudly, with a grand gesture in her companion's direction.

The woman's eyes snapped back to Millianna and her lips pressed together.

"Ha ha, very funny. I expected better from you, Erza. Milli is not a familiar. She's just a cat."

Millianna screwed up her face in confusion. A familiar? A cat? She wasn't either of those things. She shuffled her feet.

Millianna wished she was a cat. That would be awesome.

"No! Ultear, you misunderstand!" Erza backtracked, grabbing Millianna's wrist again so she wouldn't leave. "This is my _friend_ , Millianna. She loves cats. And it's her birthday. I was wondering if you would let her meet yours?" She grinned sheepishly. "I tried to call, but you phone's been out of service for days."

"Oh, yeah, a corner of our foundation collapsed and disconnected a buried wire or something. It's taken us days just to get the house level again. And the phone guy is coming sometime between eight and five! I was actually sort of hoping you were him, but...nevermind. Doesn't matter. Now, did I hear you right?" She turned to the smaller woman and directed the next question to her. "Your name actually is Millianna?" Her face suddenly lit up with a smile.

"Um, yeah...Erza, this is getting weird…" she whispered the last bit to her companion.

"I'm so sorry for misunderstanding! I'm so happy to meet you Millianna. Come on in, I'll go get her."

Millianna's ears perked up. She was always excited to meet a new cat. That's why she kept a bowl of cat food on the window box of her dorm room. She was always meeting new cats that way! At least the ones that could get to the third floor.

Erza followed her friend in, a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

Ultear returned a minute later carrying a large orange tabby.

"Well _hello there you beautiful thing!_ " Millianna cooed, walking to meet Ultear and immediately taking the cat from her. " _What's your name, gorgeous?"_

"Would you like the honors?" Ultear asked Erza, who nodded her head solemnly in acknowledgement before turning to the girl and the cat.

"Millianna, meet, Millianna the cat!" she exclaimed.

The girl's eyes went wide and her mouth fell open.

"REALLY?!" she squealed, squeezing the cat before turning her in her arms so she could look in the kitty's face. Oddly, the cat Millianna seemed to be enjoying the experience as much as the girl Millianna, purring and butting her head against her fingers.

Cat Millianna stared up at the cat above her. She was like no cat she had ever seen! It was like she was a non-cat, but she had ears like a cat! And smelled like a cat! But she could scratch the good places too, like a non-cat! She was like the best blend of cat and non-cat there ever was!

Erza and Ultear looked on with similar indulging smiles on their faces from the doorway.

"This was a great idea," the Wiccan whispered.

"Yeah. Until we have to go home," the conservative, women's activist responded.

Both of their smiles fell.

In the end, it took the two women an hour, twenty feet of rope, a cage, two cans of tuna, a kilo of catnip and a promise that the Millianna's could see each other once a week to separate them.

Eventually, about a year later, Ultear finally gave in and gifted Millianna her cat.

Some things, it didn't take an ultrasensitivity to the supernatural world to figure out.


	10. Wendy The Fairy Girl

**So, I fell into a food coma and slept from about six last night to this morning...and didn't get my last story out yesterday! Sorry! So, four plus a chapter (that I'm frantically still writing!) today! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Wendy The Fairy Girl**

In which Lucy writes a story she actually likes.

* * *

Lucy stared at the blank page in front of her, tired of writing nothing but crap.

She felt like she had been in this block forever. Every idea seemed great, until she went to put pen to paper and it came out stale, stunted and unoriginal. She had torn out more pages from her writing journal than she had kept at this point, and she was getting pretty damn close to giving up on it.

Maybe she wasn't meant to be a writer. Maybe it just wasn't her destiny. Maybe those stories she had written as a child for the hotel staff had actually been terrible, and they had all been lying to her to make her feel better.

Now that she thought about it, that possibility sounded more and more like the truth.

She sighed and dropped her pen. It was depressing learning a talent you thought you had was actually just a pandering lie.

Suddenly, Lucy perked up, as she felt Natsu writing on their arms.

 **hey, I'm bored. what's up?** Not much **.** Just the realization of crushing imminent failure at her dreams. No biggie.

 _Not much. Trying to write, you?_

 **trying to write what?**

 _Anything that's any good. I can't seem to make it happen though. I'm starting to think I just suck at it._

 **well, maybe you do**

 _HEY!_

 **HEY, you said it, not me. its not like you've let me read any of your stuff**

 _Because it sucks!_

 **AND I rest my case**

 _I just can't think of anything interesting to write about. Everything has been done before!_

 **well, I'm a terrible writer, but if its ideas you need then maybe I can help**

 _I'm willing to try anything at this point. Whatcha got?_

 **ok..how about a story about a boy raised by a dragon?**

 _Cliche._

 **a colony of cats who live on the moon. and can fly.**

 _Too weird._

 **a girl who is forced to fight to the death to save someone she cares about**

 _Been done. Multiple times._

 **a pair of brothers who solve mysteries**

 _Seriously, are you doing this on purpose?_

 **doing what?**

 _Giving me ideas that are already famous books!_

 **oh. no...**

 _Do you just not read?_

 **not really, no.**

 _We can't be friends anymore._

 **HEY do you want my help or not?**

 _If you can call this helping…_

 **ok, fine, I can go weirder. it is you after all, I should have known you'd only want the weird stuff.**

 _HEY!_

 **ok, a band of robbers dressed in shiny spandex that attack people with farts and have enormous asses they wiggle in peoples faces. they could attack trains and stuff.**

 _You're such a boy. But… at least that's an original idea. Think a little less gross though…_

 **hmmm** It was several minutes before he wrote anything else. Lucy started drawing stars on her blank sheet of paper. Maybe she still had time to improve her drawing skills if she gave up on the whole writing thing… Eventually, he responded.

 **OK, this is the one. I can feel it.** Lucy scoffed and raised an eyebrow, knowing he could feel it. **no, seriously, this one is really good. I think you're going to love it.**

 _Ok, fine, I'm listening._

 **so the story follows this fairy. whos just a little girl fairy, and she's part of this grove of fairies who have been taking care of her since she was a baby. but one day she discovers that they're all part of this illusion and she's been a prisoner her whole life, so she runs away and it ends up she's the last of the fairies and has to figure out how to live in the new world, being the only one with magic.**

Lucy gave it some serious thought and found...she liked it. She closed her eyes and tried to visualize the little fairy girl, innocent, alone and yet concealing a massive secret. She needed bright colored hair. Like blue, or purple. Normal enough for people, but rare, maybe a holdover from when fairies were everywhere. And she needed to have power over nature somehow. But something specific, like water, or the wind, or growing things. And she needed a name.

 _What would her name be?_ Lucy could feel him grin and mirrored it with a smaller one. He really did have good ideas. She was big enough to admit that. After she'd milked him for everything he had. If he-who-would-not-be-satisfied had taught her one thing, it was to latch onto someone of value and use whatever they unwittingly gave you for your advantage.

Wait. Maybe that wasn't such a great thing to do…she should ask Levy about that sometime...

 **I don't know. Maybe Wendy or something?**

Wendy...so definitely powers of the wind then. And maybe herblore from her people that let her heal people! Or all fairies could heal? That could be really cool.

 _Ok, Wendy it is. I've got to go. I'm gonna try this whole writing thing one more time._

 **sounds like a plan. can I read it when its done?**

 _If it's any good._

 **no, can I read it anyway? even if it sucks? I want to see what happens to her!**

Lucy rolled her eyes.

 _Fine. I'll call you and read it to you when I've got something down._

 **Awesome! happy writing!**

 _Thanks!_

So, Lucy got to work, putting pen to paper, and the words flowed clearly and quickly. She didn't go back and read what she had written yet. There were so many ideas filling her brain now and they were just bursting to get out of her. So she wrote, and wrote and wrote. She didn't notice the light fading into blackness until she couldn't see the paper in front of her anymore. And then she just flipped on a light and kept on writing. Eventually, it was her growling stomach that tore her away from the page, gurgling angrily when she realized she had missed two meals at the dining hall, and it was going to close soon, depriving her of sustenance until the morning, since her fridge and cupboards were woefully empty. She had forgotten to buy groceries in her writing whirlwind.

Dropping her pen and grabbing her keys, she rushed out of her apartment, forgetting to lock it behind her.

* * *

About ten minutes later, Levy knocked on Lucy's door, trying the knob. She walked in, calling for the blonde, but was met with silence.

A mischievous grin spread over her face as she crept over to the desk and grabbed a handful of Lucy's Heartfilia Hotel pens she had brought with her when she ran. Something about it not feeling like home without them laying around. And not being able to say no to free pens when she was about to be broke.

For whatever reason she had them, they would be perfect for testing out her new prank idea…

Then Levy's eyes landed on handwriting filled pages of Lucy's writing notebook, open for perusing.

Never one to turn down an open book, she flipped back a few pages to the beginning of the piece and curiously began to read.

* * *

 _Wendy The Fairy Girl_

 _In a world long deprived of magic and mystery, every little girl dreams of being whisked away into a land of fantasy, where dragons roamed the skies and fairies watched over the earth. And one little girl lived that dream. Or had, until the fantasy surrounding her melted away._

 _Wendy sat, awed, in a field of wildflowers, beautiful in its own way, but nothing compared to the oversaturated mirage that had just dropped away from her eyes. Dozens of fairies, just like her, dissolved into nothing. The sweeping trees of her rainforest home, that shaded their little grove from the purple sun's harsh rays has disappeared to leave this overly light, empty, gray in comparison, field surrounding her instead. The world she had known her whole life was a lie._

 _Even now, the fairies she had remembered vividly only moments before were fading from her memory. Their names were even gone, floating away like the breezes she manipulated. Her heart felt empty as she stared blankly into the bright white sun, so foreign to what she used to know. To what she believe the world to be._

 _She was alone. Really alone._

 _Her entire existence had been a twist of reality; her magic building a nurturing space to protect and teach her until she was old enough to be on her own. And apparently the morning of her eleventh birthday she was old enough._

 _She sat in the field for another hour, listening to the sounds the winds brought her. At least_ _ **they**_ _hadn't left her alone! She could still control the wind like always, and that was a comfort amongst the harsh realizations of the morning._

 _She could hear odd sounds, brought to her by the south wind, she'd never heard before. Loud blaring noises that sounded a little like geese, but ruder. And gushes of wind that flowed over her like waves as large object after large object flew past at impressive speeds. So quick they the wind whistled as they passed._

 _Well, she couldn't sit in this field forever. She had to find something to eat, at the very least, so she picked herself up and used her winds to fly herself across the field. South. She clung to the curiosity she felt about those new noises. Right now, that curiosity was the only thing making her feel alive._

 _When she reached a line of trees and could fly easily no longer, she stopped, hearing the noises she had followed amplified on the other side ten fold. She cautiously peeked through the trunks, creeping through dozens of close fitting trees before she reached an open space, the ground hardened like rock. She walked onto the rock in her bare feet and immediately leapt into the air again._

 _That rock was HOT! She looked at the bottom of her foot, thankfully not seeing blisters like she had gotten from sleeping too close to the fire that one time, and looked at the path of black stone that stretched seemingly forever in either direction, until it turned and the trees swallowed it up again. It was quiet now, but her winds told her the noises were coming again._

 _Curious, she flew a little higher, to get a better view of the black rock path that kept the trees from joining together and hiding the ground from the blazing white sun. She missed the purple sun, and itt more delicate warmth already._

 _Then she saw something moving fast along the black stone pathway. It was red and shiny, reflecting that hot sunlight like water. But smoother._

 _She flew down and hovered just above the black stone in front of where it would pass. Then it would see her and she could ask where it was going. So she waited, the creature coming into view much faster than she had expected and coming right at her._

 _Wendy realized too late that the creature wasn't going to stop. But she couldn't move._

 _However, the creature seemed to see her at the last minute and pulled to the side, veering off the black rock and murdering a whole stand of trees. She gasped as it let out a terrible booming noise and huffed smoke, like a dragon. The little fairy dove into the trees and hid for a moment, making sure the beast was not going to eat her before she peeked at it again. It looked pretty badly hurt._

 _And no matter how scary it was, Wendy had an obligation to use her healing abilities to try to save it. So she crept out and laid a hand on the beast, surprised to find it even hotter than the black stone path, and smoother. She sent her magic into the beast, looking for a heartbeat, but finding none. However, there was another creature's heart still beating nearby. Looking through a hole in the beast, she saw what looked like another fairy, only somewhat bigger, inside it._

 _Maybe it had been an evil beast, and eaten this giant fairy, but it hadn't had time to digest it before Wendy had startled it. If that was the case, maybe she could save the fairy! And then she wouldn't be alone anymore! She circled the dead beast until she was looking through the square hole that was closest to the beast's last meal, and tried to reach inside. Except she hit something in the way, like an invisible force field, as hard as the rest of the beast. She had wondered how it managed to keep it's food from escaping with the big holes all over its stomach. So she called on her magic to help her break the force field, the wind rushing to do her bidding, it found a dozen little weak spots in the beast's barrier to sneak in and filled it up, pressing outward until the field burst. But instead of disappearing, it broke into a million little solid pieces, which flew outward, sprinkling the ground and leaving shallow cuts in Wendy's skin._

 _That hadn't gone entirely to plan, she thought as she picked a couple of pieces of the shiny bits out of her skin. But at least she could reach into the beast and touch the fairy now, and that was all that mattered. Her own accelerated healing rate would take care of her cuts. But she was worried the fairy had been in the belly of the beast for too long and had not been able to eat its element, so it wouldn't be able to heal itself._

 _Her fears were confirmed when she touched the fairy's warm skin and felt not a single trace of magic left below its skin. Her heart wept for the fairy. To be without magic was to be without life. She had used too much, while practicing once, and she hadn't been able to move for a whole day. And even then, she had had at least a little left to keep her body warm and tingly._

 _Wendy swiftly got to work sending her magic into the fairy's magicless body, finding a couple of broken bones and an area bleeding in the fairy's head. She pushed a little more magic into those areas, coaxing the bones to grow, as all fairies had inherently learned how to do when they left their eggs under the earth and joined the their people in the sky. His magicless body, for she had figured out it was a boy fairy she had found inside the beast, resisted her healing, finally beginning to respond after several moments of stubborn pushing on her part. He must have been in the belly of the beast for longer than she realized._

 _Just as she had coaxed the muscles of his head to stop bleeding and regrow, the fairy woke up, taking a deep breath in and looking around him with wide, unseeing eyes. Until they landed on Wendy._

 _He blinked at her, seemingly not seeing the magic that flowed through her fingers into his arm, the nearest part of him to her. He seemed to be fascinated with her own skin, his eyes roving over her in shock and awe._

 _What Wendy didn't know, was that her own healing had been delayed, as she fueled copious amounts of magic into his injuries, so that the shallow cuts from the shattered barrier were just now healing, sealing up in perfect new skin as he watched._

" _What are you?" he whispered, feeling the magic thrumming through his body and shivering at the unfamiliar tingle. Wendy screwed up her little face in confusion._

" _Why, I'm a fairy. Just like you." The man's eyes went wide as he looked her over again, noticing her feet hovering over the broken glass on the ground for the first time. Almost absentmindedly he replied._

" _But, I'm not a fairy. I'm human!"_

 _Wendy took her hand from his arm and jumped back, suddenly afraid._

" _What's a human?"_

 _Maybe she shouldn't have saved him. Maybe the beast was right to eat him in the first place...though it was hard to think well of anything that could kill trees so easily. Trees were defenseless and to be protected at all costs, as they could not protect themselves._

" _Well, a human is...me," he answered, still a little muddled from the crash. Wendy considered him from a few feet away. And something occurred to her._

" _Do humans not have magic?"_

" _No. No one does."_

" _Fairies do," she corrected him smugly. "Haven't you seen a fairy before?"_

" _No. I've never seen anyone like you before. When I saw you in the road, I thought you were a human kid. I didn't want to hurt you, so I drove off the road." He looked at the broken beast around him, cringing at the little trail of smoke coming from its gaping mouth. He seemed to realize everything wasn't as it should be, as he ran his hands over himself and looked at the blood his fingers came away with, unable to find where it had come from._

" _I healed you," Wendy said helpfully. "You weren't strong enough to heal yourself. Your beast was already dead. I couldn't do anything for it."_

" _It's not a beast. It's a machine. It was dead to begin with. Though," he said wryly, looking at the wreckage around him, "a lot more dead now."_

" _My name is Wendy," she said, going to place her fingers to his temple to show him her memories, as was the custom for her species. He shied away from her though, confused. Instead, he held out his hand to her. Maybe humans traded memories through their hands. So Wendy touched his hand with her fingers instead._

" _I'm Natsu," he grabbed her hand in his and shook it a few times. "Nice to meet you."_

* * *

The words cut off there, at the bottom of the page. Levy flipped to the next page, looking for the rest and despairing when she realized that was all Lucy had written. Now she would never know what happened to Wendy. Lucy had an unfortunate habit of leaving stories unfinished, or even throwing them away. While her writing was decent, _she_ thought it was terrible, an unfortunate side effect of having a father who never stopped pushing her to be better. Levy sighed and turned away from the book, trying her best to leave it exactly how she found it. She'd have to tell Lucy she had read it some other time. When she wasn't pranking her.

But Levy smiled as she tip-toed out of the apartment again. When she did, she was going to have to give her so much shit for naming a character after her soulmate.

And for leaving her door unlocked...


	11. Where Prayers Go

**Where Prayers Go**

In which Natsu had an epiphany.

* * *

At first he didn't know what it was he was hearing. It sounded like his phone was talking to him from his pocket, or someone was whispering behind him.

But his phone was still locked, and there was never anyone behind him. Less so now, as he had gotten in the habit of whipping around quickly to try and seen someone who wasn't there. People had started to give his crazy-looking ass space on the crowded sidewalk. Which suited him fine. Anything to keep people off his back while he figured this out.

It didn't take him too long to figure out that the woman's voice he kept hearing was Lucy. It threw him off a bit that it was only sometimes, when he wasn't thinking about her. And it was almost indecipherable.

So the next time he heard it, he stepped away from the group he was walking with back to the house and told them he'd catch up with them in a minute. Instead he ducked off to a shaded place between buildings and focused on listening, trying to determine why he could hear her at those odd moments, when he wasn't _trying_ to hear her.

As he focused on the faint words, they became clear, like a volume dial being steadily turned up.

"-and I don't know what to do. Mama, it's like I'm being pulled between my head and my heart. In my head, I know I need to be free. I need to experience life, while I can, and I'll never get to experience dating and trying out people if the only person I ever date is my soulmate! Right? How will I know what we have is really it? How will I be able to appreciate having a heart full of love, if I never know what it feels like to have it broken? Oh Mama, what should I do? I wish you were here. Help me find the strength of will to make the right decision. And to keep him safe until I can choose what to do."

Natsu leaned back against the building behind him, letting his connection to her fade into the background as she lapsed into silence, hearing three or four of her breaths before his mind tuned them out.

Why was he 'hearing' a conversation with her mother? Why was THAT of all things getting through to him? Was it because she was thinking of him? Or talking about him? But that surely couldn't be the only time she'd spoken of him to anyone...so what was the trigger? He hiked his bag higher on his shoulder and stepped back out into the evening light, making his way slowly to the frat, not ready to rush and rejoin his friends. He wished there was some way to experiment with this, but it seemed to be something she was doing that triggered it. And he wasn't too keen on telling her that he could hear her talking about him to her mom. He didn't want her to stop talking about him, if that was the trigger. Just those few sentences had opened up a whole new angle on why she still wouldn't meet up with him. He could understand her so much better this way. Natsu just wished he understood it better.

But to figure it out, he had to wait.

He hated waiting.

As it happened, he didn't have to wait long. The next morning, as he was waking up, he caught the tail end of another conversation.

"But he was being impossible! How could I possibly have stayed? I hated it there. But I miss you. I haven't gotten to visit you once since I left. Why does dad have to be like this, Mama? Why can't he just love who I want to be, instead of that image in his head of what he thinks I am? Why doesn't he love me for me? Can you help him see it? You were always the only one he listened to. Maybe, even now, you can to do. Please, help me."

Natsu felt ashamed of listening to her conversation this time. It wasn't about him at all.

So, he realized, that couldn't be it. But it was a conversation with her mother. Was it just when she talked to her mom that he spontaneously heard her? Why her mom though? Was it because it was deeply emotional for her? Was she sending out a stronger 'signal' than usual because her emotions were stronger? He didn't know.

And he had to get to class before Erza kicked his ass again for being late.

The next time he heard her, he was in the middle of a group project and couldn't just drop what he was doing. But he sure as hell tried. Excusing himself as soon as he feasibly could in the conversation, he ran to the bathroom and locked himself in a stall, turning up the volume on Lucy the way he had before.

"Mama, I miss you. Why did you have to go? If you had stayed, if you hadn't been forced to leave me, none of this would be happening. I would have had a normal childhood. It's been so much harder this week, even than normal. Because you died this day, all those years ago…" Natsu lost her next words as his heart bled for her, drowning them out. How had he forgotten? His mind flashed back to the articles he had seen on Gray's computer. Layla Heartfilia killed. She wasn't just talking to her mom. She was praying to her. Asking for something from her, wherever she was. And instead of her mother hearing and answering her prayers, Natsu was hearing them. He didn't know if the signals were getting crossed, or it was her soul's desperate cry out into the void that his just couldn't ignore, but when she prayed, he heard.

He thought back to his brief flirtation with religion, right after Igneel died, leaving him alone. When he had finally accepted that Igneel was really gone, and after he had stopped being angry at his father for leaving him when he still needed him, he had ended up in a random church, trying to figure out who he had to talk to in order to get Igneel back where he belonged.

The hours of praying to whatever was out there hadn't done anything. And he had assumed it was because there was actually nothing there. No one with the power to answer his prayers. That realization had thrown him into a funk that only Gray and Erza had been able to drag him out of. Literally, dragging him to the gym to fight them every day for a month before he finally had enough fight back in him to resist their forced exercise.

But what if he had been wrong. What if prayers did go somewhere? But maybe they weren't heard by deities, or other benevolent beings that chose only those prayers that came from the righteous and pure of heart to grant. Maybe that wasn't their real purpose. Maybe he could hear Lucy's prayers because she was feeling alone, and needed someone to be there for her. Maybe when her mother, arguably the person who loved her most out of anyone, was gone, maybe...by default, they went to someone else. Someone who had the potential to love her just as much. Or more.

Maybe her prayers were finding him, because it was up to him to give her what she needed. To pull her up out of the hole she had fallen in.

So, he did the only thing he could think of to help. The only thing he knew made her happier 100% of the time.

* * *

Lucy knelt on the ground in the little grove covered in lily of the valley she had stumbled into a week ago. It had seemed like a sign when she had found it. The late afternoon light streaming perfectly through the leaves of the trees of the copse tucked behind a building on the corner of campus, making the whole area glow. Her mother's favorite flower had bobbed at her in the breeze and she had immediately fallen to her knees, feeling as close to her mother as she had since she left Acalypha for Magnolia.

So today, on the anniversary of her mother's death, she had returned to the little grove and prayed to her. Like she had been doing all week, hoping that maybe her mother would send her a sign. Or tell her what to do. She felt so uncertain about so much, that it sometimes made her feel crazy, like her own mind was warring with herself. Lucy missed the certainty her mother had always given her. Her mom had always known what to do and just what to say to make her see that whatever was getting her down, whether it was the juice she had spilled on her pretty new dress in front of Daddy or her missing plushie, was small stuff. Stuff that would turn out ok in the end if she let it.

Without that force in her life, everything just seemed so drastically important. Every little thing could make or break her. And she had no way of figuring out what was the small stuff. What decisions were worth stressing over.

So she prayed. And she felt like her mother heard her, but like Lucy herself was deaf, watching her mother tell her what to do, in her mind's eye, but not being able to hear the sage advice.

But today, she couldn't feel her at all. She was truly gone.

Lucy sat back on her ankles and felt numb. She was alone again.

But then she felt the tingle of pen on her arm.

She looked down to see a flower blooming on her wrist, a perfect lily, down to every detail.

When the lily was done, a rose sprouted up next to it, each petal appearing from the inside out, until it rested, bursting and plump, next to the lily. Next came a daisy. And then another lily, the bundle of flowers beginning to take a familiar shape.

Lucy sat on her knees in the copse for another hour as Natsu added flower after perfect flower to a bouquet that stretched across her arm. She didn't know how he knew, but with each new flower, she could tell he was drawing her mother a bouquet. That he was helping Lucy cope with not being able to bring her mother the flowers she wanted to.

Tears rolled silently down her cheeks as she watched him pay tribute to a woman he had never known, and she mourned the mother who would never hold her again. The woman who would never again light up the world with her glowing smile.

When her whole forearm was covered in a drooping arc of flowers, that seemed to carry it's own weight it looked so real, he finished the drawing with a ribbon, threaded through the flowers and trailing down to her wrist. And then he stopped. Because only she could add what he couldn't say.

Taking a pen from her purse, she carefully wrote in the neatest handwriting she could manage inside the trailing ribbon.

 _For Layla_

And she finally felt at peace.

* * *

 **So, I'm sort of in love with this one. Really happy it came to me.**


	12. Whose Clothes Are These?

**Ok, guys, a couple things.**

 **One, don't forget to check out ShanaHollows' amazing one-shots too! She has really been rising to my challenge and bringing it! I'm gonna have a couple of intense days of writing ahead to keep up with her.**

 **Two, I will NOT be posting my usual chapter of PAPI today! I really wanted to, but it's not quite there yet, and my beta won't have time to help me out with it until tomorrow. So, it will be up TOMORROW. I promise. Even if I have to spend the next 24 hours proofing it myself instead, until it's glorious and spine-chilling, it will definitely be done and up by tomorrow. I hate missing deadlines, but this chapter is too important to put up too soon.**

 **Three, enjoy this last one shot for today! It's pretty much just all lemony goodness...you've been warned. So if you're reading this at work, your frustration is your own damn problem. Ya pervs.**

 **lol.**

 **Enjoy. ;)**

* * *

 **Whose Clothes Are These?**

In which, in an AU to Passive Aggressive Post-Its, Lucy and Natsu have a very different 'daybreak' after the Moon Drip party. hehe.

* * *

Lucy peeled her sticky eyelids back and immediately closed them. What the hell had she been doing last night, that her eyes felt like they were coated in rubber cement? And why did it seem so much brighter than usual? Had she been drinking? She struggled to remember.

She had gone to a party with Levy and Gajeel, and met a guy...she had drunk a Long Island, and kissed the guy...HOLY SHIT IT WAS GRAY. She had kissed Gray. Her soulmate's fucking roommate! She had been in his house! He had almost seen her! And then...wait, she didn't remember what happened after that! She had needed a shot, so she had taken one at those sweet ass ice luges, and then...nothing!

Ignoring the pain of the light shining at her from an odd angle, she pried open her eyelids again and blinked a few times until the room came into focus.

Shit.

It wasn't her room. Or anywhere in her apartment. She seemed to be suspended on a bed only a few feet from the ceiling, across from another just like it. Someone else slept in that bed. As if he could hear her frantic thoughts the guy in the other bed turned to face her, and she was mildly surprised to realize she recognized him.

It was Gray. She was in Gray's room. She sighed in relief. At least she hadn't ended up in some stranger's room. And she wasn't sleeping with Gray, that was good. But wait…

That meant…

Her eyes blew wide as she very, very carefully turned her head, trying to keep her shoulders from moving as she strained to see behind her. But as much as she tried, her shoulders couldn't help but move a little bit. And just as she caught sight of the ends of a wild head of rosy hair, a muscular arm closed in around her middle, tugging her body against a very fit, very naked, and very aroused torso. Like holy shit he had a bad case of morning wood. That he was apparently planning on using her to solve, if the rocking movements of his hips were anything to go by.

How the FUCK had she ended up in bed with NATSU?! What happened to staying away from him? Wasn't that the plan? Wasn't she going to date other people and have her freedom? When had she decided…

Lucy's brain trailed off as the hand around her waist slid down her very _bare_ abdomen and settled on her inner thigh. She peeked under the blanket covering them. Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholy-

Lucy mentally slapped herself. Just because she was in bed with her soulmate, wearing nothing but her (thankfully adorable and clean) white lace cheekies didn't mean she needed to lose her shit. She could handle this. Everything would be-holymagicfingersbatman. Natsu's fingers had decided he was not, in fact, looking for her thigh and had ventured a little closer to pay dirt, striking gold on his first try.

Lucy didn't know if she wanted to cry out in desperation or relief. She was naked in a man's bed she had never actually met in person, with his roommate, whom she had made out with just the night before, sleeping not ten feet from them, and she had no idea how she had gotten there!

But FUCK did whatever he was doing with his fingers feel incredible! What they had been doing in the shower for weeks didn't even compare. It was like the difference between dairy free cheese and a hunk of aged cheddar: no fucking comparison.

But she had to get out of there, right? Natsu was asleep! He had not idea that the girl he was feeling up was her, right? She could still get away without him knowing! Did he even realize he was feeling her up? Did he even remember what happened last night to get them there? She sure as hell didn't! She shifted her hips and lifted herself off the bed a few inches, testing out how much movement he would notice.

And the answer was: any apparently. Sleepy Natsu's wily other hand slid under her, taking advantage of the new tunnel of space between her and the sheets to grab a hefty handful of breast and tug her back against his chest, where his lips found the skin of her neck and started sucking on her.

Lucy fought back a moan. This was so goooooodd...wait, shit, no! This was NOT good. NOOO-aaaaawwww-OOOT good. She struggled to focus as the hand between her legs tried to nudge her panties aside, thankfully having a little difficulty. His knee came up between her knees to nudge them further apart, his ankle tugging hers back a little to open her up. She leaned her torso forward, trying to ease away from the pervy octopus behind her, but only succeeded in shifting her breast against his hand, in an amazing slide of sweaty friction, and her hips back into his groin, which incited a groan from the lips on her neck and a more frantic response from his hand down south.

Lucy bit back her own groan and tried to remember why it was a bad idea to have sex with someone she had never actually met...she was sure there was some...oh gods that felt amazing...fantastic...practical...reason WHY she shouldn't just let the sex god behind her do whatever the fuck he wanted to her. Virginity be damned.

But the thumb caressing her breast had finally found her nipple, and frankly, that was the last of the mental fortitude she had left in her.

Fuck it. She was hungover. And probably still a little drunk. And drunk people made terrible decisions. Everyone knew that.

So when his other hand finally hooked under the waistband of her underwear and yanked them down her legs, she helped shimmy them the rest of the way off, closed her eyes in pleasure, and let his hands do whatever they wanted. Some things were totally fucking worth it. She could apologize to her sober self later. If she even wanted to.

* * *

About the time his fingers met the familiar feeling of a slick pussy, Natsu realized he was doing something he probably shouldn't in his sleep again. He wasn't ready to open his eyes, sort of hoping it was an amazing dream about the blonde who haunted his thoughts. He flexed the fingers on his other hand, immediately recognizing the soft skin and hardened nipple of a gigantic breast. Holy shit, she was bigger than a double D. He let go of her breast and let his hand slide further around her. Fuck him. She was incredible shape, too. Of COURSE she wa-

He took a sharp intake of breath. She continued grinding those incredibly in-shape hips into his crotch, her shifting thighs together, reminding him that the fingers of his other hand were just chilling out in her cooch. He wiggled them experimentally in the slippery warmth between her legs and felt his erection get almost painfully hard as she thrust her hips back into him again. Gods, she was so wet… His mind promptly forgetting that he had no idea why there was a naked woman in his bed, he found her clit with his thumb and pressed a finger into her core.

Fuck...she was so tight he could feel her warmth pulling on just one finger. He groaned and rocked his hips into her full ass, picturing what that tight warmth around his cock would feel like. This was the best dream ever. It had to be. He realized his nose and lips were pressed up against her shoulder and resumed licking her neck, eventually biting her lightly where her neck met her shoulder. The woman in his arms tasted amazing.

She moaned softly and turned her head to try and find his lips.

Natsu's brain cleared from the fog for a brief moment to wonder if he wasn't dreaming. Maybe he was so horny that he had picked up some chick at the party the night before and was about to fuck her without even realizing it! And then what would his Weirdo think of him? She didn't deserve to have to feel him getting off with someone else. And frankly, if it wasn't really her in his bed, he wasn't really interested.

But if this was a dream...fuck, he really didn't want it to end yet… Then he had it, his sleep and sex-addled mind coming to the logical conclusion, that if he opened his eyes, and it was his blonde bombshell, he was dreaming, and he could continue at his leisure guilt-free. If he opened his eyes and it was anyone else, he'd done something awful and he would just have to suck it up and keep his hands off, preferably pretending to be asleep until she could could wake up and sneak away with dignity.

So, removing his fingers from inside of her with an internal complaint from his dick and a whine from the lady in question, he rolled away from her body enough that she could lay back against his shoulder, still instinctively turning her head for a kiss. And then he opened an eye, barely letting the light in as he took in the face of his early morning guest. And his other eye popped open almost immediately.

It was her. It was fucking her!

He grinned and sat up to get a better view of her, and hit his head, painfully, on the ceiling.

Which was about the moment that he realized he wasn't dreaming.

Which meant that the girl he'd been fantasizing about fucking for weeks was actually laying in his bed. Naked.

And aroused.

And currently wrapping her leg around his hip and grinding her wetness all over his extremely happy cock.

How the fuck had this all-

Fuck it. He didn't care.

He laced the fingers of one hand into her hair, grabbed a perky breast with the other and kissed the fuck out of his Weirdo, rolling her gently to the wall side of the bed and totally forgetting that his roommate slept, blissfully unaware of their activities, less than ten feet away. Or just not caring. Either was equally likely.

* * *

Gray awoke to the sounds of a very happy Natsu. Not bothering to open his eyes, he turned away from his roommate's side of the room and barked out,

"Dude, you have got to quit masturbating in your sleep. It's so fucked up." The rustling and moaning stopped for a moment. So he sighed and tried to go back to sleep.

Then he heard a more feminine sounding moan float over to his side of the room and his eyes popped open. Wait, that meant...

He peaked over his shoulder, trying to catch sight of the girl his roommate had in his loft with him, but could only see Natsu's bare shoulders as he leaned over the woman he clearly had trapped between him and the wall. Gray immediately frowned and started to get out of his bed, climbing down and dragging a blanket with him, dislodging some of the condoms that had been left under his comforter. They rained to the ground like he had broken open an adult-only pinata. One of them fell on a sheer, pink piece of fabric laying on the ground. He lifted it up, mumbling to himself,

"Fucking classy Natsu... whose clothes are these?"

Gray picked up the skirt, and the black top that seemed to consist of wide pieces of elastic, and at last the white lacy bra, that could have fit both Natsu and his heads into it, and finally figured it out. A grin grew on his lips as he set the clothes on the couch in a pile and scooped up a handful of fallen condoms, chucking them at his roommate's back.

"No glove, no love guys! See ya later Lucy!" he tossed over his shoulder as he left his room, finding somewhere else to sleep off his hangover for the morning.

When the door slammed shut, Natsu snuck a look carefully over his shoulder to make sure his roommate was gone and turned back to the gorgeous woman that was currently riding three fingers of his hand. Her deep chocolate brown, and very aroused, eyes gazed back up at him as she panted out adorable little breaths and squeezed his erection a little firmer in her fisted fingers. Her hips kept rocking into the rhythm he set with his arm, muscles taut as he pleasured her.

"Lucy?" Natsu gasped down at her, grinning. "Please tell me that's your name."

She smiled up at him for a moment before diving for his mouth and wrapping her fingers into his hair with the hand not steadily stroking him. She finally pulled away and cried out, responding to how he had curled his fingers against a particular spot inside of her.

"Present and accounted for. Now shut up and pleeeease do that again!"

He opened his mouth to respond to her needy moan, but found the breast thrust into his face much more compelling than anything he was going to say.

So he grabbed her nipple between his teeth, shut up and did what she asked.

Some things really could wait.

And Lucy wasn't one of them.


	13. Shrimp, if you please!

**Shrimp, if you please!**

In which Levy gets a tattoo, and they discover something important about the bond.

* * *

"Are you ready Shrimp?"

"Oh for the love of the gods, Gajeel, you're just drawing the practice one in pen! You don't need to build all this suspense!" Levy replied as she rolled her eyes.

"Well, excuse me if I think exposing my girlfriend's ass and drawing on it is something to build suspense for..." he chuckled to himself, ignoring his girlfriend's pointed glare over her shoulder. "Plus, I wouldn't even be doing a 'practice run' if you weren't so stressed out about the damn thing to begin with! It's just a tattoo Levy, you're not signing away yer soul or somethin'."

"Hey, when it's gonna be showing up on both of our asses, don't you want to make sure it looks okay with the rest of your tattoos before it's there FOREVER!? I'm just trying to be considerate!"

"It's not like I walk around without pants on. No one's gonna see it anyway. Hell, you only chose that spot because I don't already have a tat there." Gajeel yanked the waistband of Levy's jeans down a few inches to expose the creamy flesh of one buttcheek. He peeked through the doorway to the front of his shop to make sure the sign on the door was flipped to closed.

No one but him was getting an eye-full of Levy's ass. Not even on accident.

"Just get on with it already, you big lout." Levy turned back around, getting comfortable on the padded chair again. Gajeel pulled the cap off of his pen and drew circles on a piece of scratch paper before carefully beginning his drawing on her butt. She almost immediately twitched as he drew the first few lines.

"Holy shit, that tickles!" she exclaimed, managing to stay put, but digging her fingers into the reclined seat in front of her. Gajeel started to laugh at her, but stopped as something occurred to him. Setting his pen aside, he popped out of his chair and unbuttoned his jeans. Levy glanced over her shoulder again and examined him quizzically.

"What, having my luscious booty displayed to you has driven you into a state of wild passion?" she remarked, the sarcasm heavy in her comment. He leveled a playful glare in her direction and pulled down his jeans and boxers on one side, looking into the mirrored wall behind him.

"Huh, well that was unexpected," he muttered to himself, before turning to show his own white-skinned buttock to Levy. She raised an eyebrow.

"What? You're as white as I am, congratulations."

Gajeel rolled his eyes.

"Something missing, short stuff?"

Levy's eyes widened.

"What?! How is that possible?!" she exclaimed, jumping up from the chair. She sidled up next to him to look at the lines of ink on her butt in the mirror before turning to look at his bare cheek again. "Is the bond broken or something?"

Gajeel shrugged and picked up his pen again. He drew a smiley face on his hand and looked back at Levy. She held up her own hand, where the same little face smiled back at him.

So the bond was clearly still intact. So, what had changed…

Having a thought, Levy took the pen from Gajeel and drew another smiley face on his hand, next to the first. Then she looked at her hand, seeing only the original.

"Holy crap. That's new."

"Yeah."

"So, if we're drawing on each other, it doesn't transfer. That's totally weird. It must be some kind of a loophole. How does it even know?"

"Who fucking knows Shorty. But this does mean one thing…" Gajeel trailed off as his grin got sharky. Levy raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips right above her still unfastened pants.

"What?"

"You're really a blank canvas now. I can tattoo any part of you, any way you want. We don't have to worry about clashing with mine at all. Care to change up your choice?" Levy's eyes sparkled in speculation.

"Yeah, I think I do."

"What'll it be then, little blue?"

"Ok, seriously? What? Do you have a book of those stupid names somewhere? Why can't you just call me Levy?!"

"Cause it's hot when you get all riled up about it...Shrimp."

Levy pouted, her lower lip stuck out like a petulant child.

"You just wait, I'll go to another tattoo artist and get a unicorn on my shoulder or something."

"Unicorns are cool."

"With rainbow wings."

"Sounds good to me."

"And Hello Kitty riding it's head."

"You do love Japanese cartoons…"

"And a cloud of cuss words!"

"...and the written language. Particularly cussin'..."

"GODSDAMNIT GAJEEL, JUST CALL ME LEVY!"

Gajeel swept her up into his lap and gave her ass a squeeze before grabbing her face and forcing her to look him in the eye.

"I give you pet names because I give pet names to the people I love, alright? It makes 'em mine. It gives me something to call 'em that no one else will ever call 'em. I like that idea. I just haven't settled on which one fits ya best yet."

Levy stared at him, a twitch in her lips giving away her struggle not to smile. Sometimes, he said the sweetest things. And every time, it reinforced that bubble of happiness under her ribs that told her how lucky she was.

"You gonna pick a tattoo, or am I gonna pick one for you? What do you really want? And where do you want it?"

Levy twisted her lips and screwed up her face, like she was thinking about it hard. The truth was, he had given her the perfect idea already.

"Fine, you know what, I'd like it on my hip. Right above my pelvic bone." She hopped back up on the table and peeled back her jeans, exposing her hot pink underwear. She pointed to a spot just above the waistband of her bikini cut panties. "Right here."

Gajeel swallowed hard, trying very hard to ignore the few little blue curls he could see peeking out. She had to be doing this to him on purpose. Like her ass hadn't been distracting enough.

"And what'll it be?"

Levy's grin widened innocently.

"A shrimp, if you please."


	14. The Phoenix - Part One

**So...I promised myself I wouldn't do this, break up a one shot that is, but seeing as this thing is 18 pages and growing...I'm cheating a bit and posting it in parts. But, it will be completely posted by the end of tomorrow. hehe.**

* * *

 **The Phoenix-Part One**

In which Lucy and Natsu prepare for a party in an AU of Passive Aggressive Post-Its. They haven't exchanged phone numbers, and Natsu still hasn't been able to figure out Lucy's name, but not from lack of trying. This story begins as they prepare to go to a Halloween party, and Natsu puts into effect his twelfth attempt to meet the Weirdo face-to-face.

* * *

Lucy wiggled and squirmed.

She danced around her apartment waving her bare arms and legs around.

She tried anything she could think of to keep herself from concentrating on the terrible tickling sensation traveling systematically over her body.

Who knew a paint brush could tickle so godsdamned much?!

"Are you almost done!? This is excruciating!" she yelled at her empty room.

But Natsu heard her.

They had gotten much better at the hearing bit of their bond in the last few months. Since the Weirdo had refused to give him her phone number, or even her name, he had had to get creative. If he wanted to impress the girl that invaded pretty much every fucking thought he had lately, he was going to need more than the written word to do it. Words were not his forte. Thus attempt #12. Yes, he had gone through 11 other plans to trick her into meeting him, all of which had failed, but he was confident #12 would be the last time. They were going to the same party for gods' sakes. If he failed at finding her in the same fucking building, then he deserved to be alone.

Or he'd have to come up with plan #13.

He grinned, yelling back at her as he carefully completed a golden swirl on his arm, accenting the red that was thankfully already dry.

"Almost! But don't look yet! I don't want you to see until you can see it all at once!"

"Fine! But I'm only giving you another half-an-hour and then I'm looking whether you're done or not! You know how much I love to watch you work too! I'm starting to think you're torturing me on purpose!"

Natsu's grumbled to himself about pretty girls who had never learned how to be fucking patient.

"I HEARD THAT!" Lucy yelled back, with vim.

Shit. She really was getting good at 'hearing' him. He would have to be more careful in the future. Well, if all went according to plan, it wouldn't matter by the morning. He couldn't help but grin. God he loved to listen to her get fired up.

"Good!" he yelled back. Gray poked his head into the studio, in the mostly deserted art building Natsu had commandeered a few hours ago, and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"Shut the fuck up, popsicle queen! You know I'm not talking to you!"

Gray grinned. "You about done in here? The girls are starting to arrive at the house and they sent me to check on you."

"Is that Gray?" Natsu could hear his Weirdo yelling. "Say hi for me!"

"The Weirdo says hi. Now leave me alone so I can finish up. Shouldn't be more than another 20 minutes, I would think."

"Tell her hi back, and that I hope to run into her tonight!"

Natsu's eyes widened to their maximum potential wideness and he made abbreviated shushing motions. It was really hard to keep something from someone who could both hear you and feel your movements all the time.

Gray winced with a faint curse. Natsu waited in silence for a second, trying to see if she had picked up on what Gray had said...maybe they had lucked out…he heard what sounded like tiny, faint explosions.

Wait, what?

"Weirdo, you there?" he called out, eyebrows furrowing in sudden concern.

"Sorry, what did Gray say? I missed it, I was popping popcorn!" she yelled back, the buttery taste of microwave popcorn flooding his tastebuds a moment later. Natsu groaned sinfully. It was always sweet, sweet torture when she ate.

"God, man, get a room. Whatever she's doing to you, I don't need to hear it!" And with that, Gray pulled his head back out of the room just in time to miss Natsu flipping him the bird and groaning again at another warm, buttery handful.

"Shit, you are making me so hungry right now," he rasped out, knowing she could hear him.

"Well, you're making me pretty fucking horny right now. Plus, do you have any idea how hard it is to make microwave popcorn with your eyes closed? Wait, nevermind. Knowing you, you probably could make it in your sleep. Will you please finish so I can get to the party? I appreciate you helping with my costume, but if you never finish, I'll never get to go!"

If Natsu didn't have plan #12 in place, he probably would have slowed down what he was doing just to keep her away from all the roving males that would be eye-fucking her at that very party in her (presumably) skimpy costume. But, he had plans. So he sped up instead, adding the gilding to the final swirl of feathers on his calf. But, knowing she could feel it, he went back and touched up the already overly embellished feathers of her inner thigh.

Lucy gasped as she felt his brush veer further up her leg than it had before. Struggling to keep her eyes closed, because he would definitely feel it if she opened them before he said and torture her for ruining it later, she stilled the erratic flapping motions of her limbs and focused all of her attention on the feeling of a wet brush caressing her most sensitive areas. She drew a breath to tell him to cut it out, that no one would be looking there anyway, but her breath caught in her throat as she felt the soft, wet brush glide over her clit. She didn't know how he had done it, but over the last few months of fooling around 'long distance', Natsu had pinpointed exactly where her erogenous zones matched up with his...and exploited them mercilessly. She gasped as she felt movement inside of her, a more delicate touch than the squeeze of his fingers usually was. She completely forgot why he was painting her for a moment as she felt him pinch at his nipple. Her own buds hardened at the sensation, straining for his touch.

"Oh gods," she moaned softly, her tongue flicking out to lick her lips. The oily feeling of lipstick reminded her why she was being painted in the first place. "Natsu, sto-FUCK, no, nevermind, don't stop. Gods that feels amazing! What are you do-AH!-ing?" Natsu grinned and circled his nipple with the red paint again over where it was already painted red. It wouldn't show (or at least it had better not!) on her costume, but he was going bare-chested to show off the hours of painting he had done. Plus, like he was going to pass up a chance to paint the Weirdo's boobs. Yeah, right.

"Natsu!" Hearing her moaning his name brought him back to himself and he swiftly set down the paintbrushes he was holding. She always did this to him. One minute he'd be perfectly innocently doodling on his arm or something, and the next he'd be locking himself in a closet to touch himself until he could hear her screaming his name. She wasn't a lot better though. The only difference was that he didn't know what name to moan in praise of her skills.

He wanted more than anything to know her name. That, and to find her and feel her skin warm under his hands. And it would happen tonight! If he could keep his mind out of the gutter long enough to get them both to the fucking party. He took a deep breath and licked his suddenly dry lips. Luckily whatever shit she had put on her lips to match the red he picked was water resistant or whatever. One less thing to worry about.

"Okay, I'm done. You can go look now," he said breathlessly, as he tried to mentally calm down the raging erection he was trying to tuck back into the red feather-printed swim trunks that made up the only fabric part of his costume. He closed his eyes and tried to think of anything but her. Which was made a hell of a lot harder when she opened her eyes and found a mirror, a gasp cooling her lips as it entered her mouth.

Oh to be that air.

She ran her hands lightly over the painted feathers adorning her limbs in every shade of red or gold he could create.

Oh to be those soft fingertips.

Her pupils dilated as she stared at the phoenix he had made her-that is, them-into.

Oh to see through those eyes at that very moment. To see what life his fire bird took-on when emblazoned across her curvy figure. He cut that thought off quickly. It was really not helping the downstairs situation any. He glanced at the mirror above the sink as he washed out his brushes.

Gajeel had helped with the back feathers when they had first started, and then peaced out to hang with his tiny blunette of a girlfriend while Natsu finished up. That had been close to six hours ago, but it had been totally worth it. He bet she looked amazing. His smile fell a little. If only she wanted him to see it.

"Oh Natsu...it's...breathtaking. Thank you."

She always thanked him when he drew on her. Like he had gifted her with something beyond worth. Gods, she was so fucking nice.

"You're welcome. Now put some damned clothes on and get going. You're going to miss the party," he exclaimed, struggling to keep his excitement from giving away his plan. He didn't care how many people he had to weigh through to find her tonight, he was holding her in his arms. Fuck her hang-ups. He couldn't live a hair's breadth away from her anymore.

After finding out she lived in Magnolia last month, it had become unbearable. He had looked for her everywhere, stalked the smells and sounds that surrounded her, but with no luck. Tonight though. Tonight he knew exactly where she was going to be. He had heard her get invited to the huge party thrown by Lamia every Halloween, and he had silently rejoiced when she asked for help with a costume.

He reached a hand up to run through his hair and stopped himself barely in time to keep himself from fucking up his carefully gelled hair. It might look haphazardly disheveled, but he had spent an embarrassingly long time in front of a mirror working on it. And it had been especially hard not getting any gel on his scalp. He didn't want to tip her off.

The Weirdo didn't know he'd be going to the party too. He had masterfully fabricated an imaginary evening of gaming with the guys in the house - which was probably what he would have been doing anyway, if it wasn't for plan #12 - and she knew him well enough to figure out something was up from gel in his hair. He wasn't leaving anything to chance.

Because she was going to _be_ there. And he was going to find her.

Lucy wiggled carefully into the red backless dress that had inspired the phoenix theme for the night and zipped the tiny bit at the small of her back to bring it snugly in just below the small of her back. The feathers that embellished the micro-mini skirt blended into the feathers swirling across her thighs. She had painted the ends of them gold to match. She would never be the artist her soulmate clearly was, but she could handle dipping the ends of feathers in gold paint.

She stepped into gold stiletto sandals and shoved the feathered earrings she had found into her ears. She had a simple gold mask she had planned on wearing, but looking at what Natsu had painted across her cheekbones, and around her eyes next to her previous makeup job, she couldn't bear to cover it up. So she left the mask behind. When the final touch, a simple gold chain necklace with a flat heart pendant, rested just above her exposed collarbone, she let out the breath she had been holding in a whoosh.

Tonight was the night. So she flew through her building and out into the night, like the uncaged bird she pretended to be.

* * *

 **Part Two will be posted in a few hours! See you then!**


	15. The Phoenix - Part Two

Lucy regretted walking to the party almost immediately. The six inch heels made her legs look amazing, and matched the dress so beautifully, but walking four blocks in them was like a form of high fashion sadistic torture. Who was she kidding? High fashion in general was basically just socially acceptable waterboarding.

The cars started clogging the streets, parallel parked as far as two blocks away from the party, people streaming in little groupings over the neighboring lawns in the best cheap skimpy costumes the internet had to offer. Lucy couldn't help but smile smugly as she joined them in her one-of-a-kind ensemble. The house itself, gothic in structure with statues of it's namesake displayed on either side of the door, was surrounded by a cloud of artificially created fog. Eerie outlines of giant perched birds, that could be vultures, ranged across the peak of the roof. Overall, it had taken on the look of an ancient haunted manor. Now she understood why Fairy Tail didn't bother with a Halloween party. Lamia was practically made for it. Not that she would admit to anyone but Levy that she knew Natsu's frat's party schedule like the back of her hand. She had her pride.

Speaking of Levy...Lucy pulled out her phone and texted the blunette.

 _Here! Where should I meet you?_

 _ **Finally! We'll come out to meet you!**_

Lucy tucked her phone carefully back into the bodice of her dress and made her way towards the front door, so she'd be easy to find. Fiddling with a curl of her hair, left loose around her shoulders, she took a second to concentrate on Natsu, wondering how his night was going. It was loud where he was, a few voices yelling out things on top of each other that she couldn't make out. And someone sat on his lap. If he was gaming, she guessed he could have lost a bet and gotten squashed by someone again for a round. It wouldn't be the first time. If he _was_ gaming, that is.

* * *

Natsu was uncharacteristically quiet as the packed car drove the few blocks to Lamia. He shifted as Lisanna's pelvic bone dug into his leg, lifting her weight off his lap with brisk hands on her waist before he lost the feeling in his fucking leg. She just turned and stuck her tongue out at him before continuing her conversation with her doppleganger sitting on Sting's lap in the front seat. When she had shown up with Sting (who the fuck had invited him and the emo kid anyway?) to drive with them, he had actually had to do a double-take, the new chick looked so much like his lesbian ex-girlfriend. And Lisanna had apparently found that appealing (the narcissist), because she had been flirting harder than a teenaged boy's dick at a professional volleyball tournament. Or really any volleyball tournament…

"So, Yukino," Lisanna purred, leaning over the seat and locking her feet around his calves to keep balanced on the edge of his knees in her furry bikini of a costume. Natsu might actually have cared that he had become a glorified chair for his ex-sex kitten if he wasn't so focused on how he was going to find his Weirdo when they got to the party. "Do you go to Magnolia U too?"

"I don't. I go to Cardia College, but I'm around MU campus a lot visiting the guys." The other petite, white haired woman responded, naming off a private Catholic college on the other side of Magnolia as she gestured to the freshman she was sitting on and the emo kid squeezed into the middle of Gray's backseat. "But I'm thinking of transferring. I'm not really that impressed with Cardia's pre-med program and I hear you guys just got a new state of the art 64-slice multidectetor CT for your lab students to use-"

"Come on Yuki, no one cares about that stuff but you!" Sting interrupted, tickling the girl's ribs and making her squirm on his lap. Lisanna frowned at him.

"Actually, I care. And I got to use that very piece of equipment to take a scan of one of the monkeys from our lab the other day. It was _incredible!_ " Lisanna said, her voice losing its seductive tone, instead displaying genuine interest and excitement. Yukino twisted around and the two fell into a language of technical jargon that no one else in the car understood. With the exception of Natsu and Mystogan, everyone else in the car majored in something a lot less sciency. And neither of them had any interest in biology or anatomy.

Natsu would have bounced his legs in impatience if Lisanna hadn't been crushing them. How long could a few blocks take to drive anyway? Why hadn't he just fuckin' walked?! Stupid girls with their stupid impractical shoes.

After circling the block twice looking for a parking spot, Gray eventually decided to drop them off and then park (honestly just to get Natsu the fuck out of his car before he threw Lisanna out a window or something). Taking off in a quick stride, the pinkette turned pheonix made his way swiftly to the front door, carefully scanning the people on the front porch, but not finding his Weirdo among them. Taking a last fortifying breath, he plunged into the chaos that was Lamia on Halloween.

* * *

"Levy, wait up!" Lucy yelled, losing track of the blunette dressed as classic comic book Robin. Luckily she was accompanied by Gajeel, in disguise as Batman from _The Dark Knight_ series, so Lucy could at least tell where they were heading by his ears sticking up above the crowd. But getting to them was proving to be more of an issue than she expected. Just as she saw an opening in the mass of humanity surging around her, and tried to dive through it, an arm swung around her waist and spun her around.

The swift motion made her dizzy and she stumbled, losing her footing and falling onto a broad chest, solid arms locking her in place. Her heart rate multiplied as she lifted her eyes to her captor. It was such a prince charming kind of moment. Maybe...And then her approaching smile melted away.

It was the asshole who had hit on her last week. With the stupid facial tattoo. Bora or something. How the FUCK had he found her so quickly in this crowd?! She was painted like a fucking phoenix and he had still tracked her down within minutes of her arriving.

Lucy got her feet solidly beneath her again and shoved hard against his chest, trying to free herself. But it only incited him to squeeze her closer, mimicking the push of the crowd pulsing around them. One hand slipped down and grabbed her ass.

Thoroughly done with his bullshit, she looped a foot around his ankle and yanked, sending them both crashing down, knocking over several other people on their way to the floor. Finally, people eased back, giving them room to breathe, and not so secretly hoping there was some drama to witness.

"You bitch! What the hell was that for?" the dark-haired perv yelled at her, finally releasing his hold on her. Staggering to her feet, she planted a heeled shoe on his crotch and stamped down with all her might.

All the color drained from his face as he squeezed his eyes shut and screamed, curling into the fetal position. The men watching all winced in sympathy. Lucy didn't pay them any attention. Her eyes made a handful of people wonder if phoenixes were considered birds of prey as she stared him down, breathing a little hard.

"You don't _ever_ fucking touch me again, got it?" she spat and turned to stomp through the crowd, which, thankfully, moved to make a path for her this time.

* * *

Natsu had felt the hand squeeze her ass. He pushed harshly through the crowd, not caring who he was knocking over as he tried to figure out where she was. There was a commotion up ahead, but the spectacle had made the mass of humanity insurmountable. A solid wall of sexy pirates and superheroes divided him from his goal. People really sucked at thinking up original costumes apparently.

Eventually, the crowd broke up a little bit and he was able to press through to see a man curled up on the floor cupping his groin. Natsu grinned. It didn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out what had happened. He looked around him over the heads of the people surrounding the curled up man's small circle of space, desperate to see a flash of blonde hair. He felt a tap on his shoulder instead.

Natsu glanced behind him to see a very small blonde woman with very long wavy hair. Like, maybe it was a wig it was so damn long. She smiled at him.

"If you're looking for your lady phoenix, she went that way," she said, pointing a finger. His gaze followed her hand, seeing she was indicating the door to the outside. He turned back to say thank you, but the woman had disappeared back into the crowd. He glanced around trying to see where she had disappeared to so quickly, but with no luck. Shrugging, he made his way slowly to the back door of the house and eventually made it outside.

And came face to plant with a massive corn maze.

(Random story: A decade or so ago, an agriculture sciences major had borrowed the house's barren backyard for a class crop project. When they realized how much they saved on time mowing and on vegetables for the summer, they made it an annual thing. And, when harvest was done, the leftover stalks made the perfect attraction for their fall party. The field of dried corn filling the half acre behind the gothic house was surrounded by a stone wall with four gates at each of the compass points. The End.)

Natsu had fond memories of that maze, particularly during his freshman year. There was something weirdly appealing about literally chasing a woman who ran, but really wanted to be caught. Gods, he hoped that didn't mean he had some sort of suppressed rape fantasy or something. He had enough issues without worrying about shit like that. Taking a look around, he didn't see the flurry of red and gold he was looking for, so he approached the maze, clearing his throat to catch the attention of a gaggle of girls just outside it.

"Hey, have you guys seen-" Natsu cut off as they all pointed into the maze. He grinned in appreciation and headed into the maze. There were apparently perks to being painted identically with the person he was searching for.

* * *

Lucy hit another dead end. Huffing, she turned back the way she came, golden shoes dangling from her fingers. There was no one else out here so early in the night, but that was the appeal. After being groped in such a claustrophobic room, she could use a little time wandering around in a random corn field. She could always go hunt down Levy and Gajeel later, when she got tired of playing directionally challenged scarecrow.

So until the biting chill in the air got to her, she was going to enjoy the fresh night air and the wide expanse of stars above her. As she stared into the sky, she evened her breathing and practiced the meditation she had taken up shortly after 'meeting' Natsu. It always helped her access her bond with him. It seemed to be fairly quiet where he was too. She couldn't pick up on any smells, the strong earthy scent surrounding her probably too strong, covering up the nuances of his surroundings. He was breathing a little hard, walking at a fast pace. She smiled.

Lucy turned her gaze groundward once more and took off with new enthusiasm through the maze. She could hear rustling behind her, turning briefly to try and catch a glimpse of her pursuer. All she got was a flash of red through the stalks, but it froze her breath in her lungs.

She spun and broke into a run, concentrating on Natsu's feet as she felt his steps pick up pace in time with hers. The blonde let out a laugh, the little auditory bubble of effervescence bursting into the air around her. Lucy felt his heart skip at the sound of her laughter and called out into the air, for once, sure that he could hear her without help from their bond.

"I'll be waiting for you on the other side!" There was silence for a moment. And then his feet picked up pace.

"Not if I beat you there!" she heard a clear baritone ring out around her. Her heart hammered in her chest. That voice. The one she had heard in her head so many, many times. It sounded so much warmer in real life. So much... _more_ , somehow.

"Never!" she declared with a full, unrestrained laugh. After months of being attached at more than the hip, she knew his competitive nature wouldn't let that stand. She felt Natsu's feet pick up pace again and she raced along, dropping a shoe, but leaving it behind, frantically going down new paths and recalculating when she hit dead-ends. Her breath burned in her throat as she sucked in cold air. The ground was cold under her toes, thankfully cleared of debris, but having long lost the warmth of the day's sun.

The rustling behind her intensified as he gained on her. The moon lit up her path, finally showing the gate out of the maze within sight, less than twenty feet away. She put forth a final burst of speed and had just laid a hand on the latch of the little wooden gate in front of her when…

"Wait!"

She froze. That voice could ask her to strip down and do the chicken dance, and she probably would. The only thing she had ever been able to deny him was her name. And when he stood less than ten feet behind her, she didn't think she would keep that secret long either.

Natsu stood paralyzed a few strides away from the woman who had become so very precious to him. His eyes slid over the wings of swirling feathers on her shoulders, down to the small of her back, all exposed by the short, tight dress she wore. The feathers at her hem swayed in the breeze threading it's way through the corn stalks, taunting and enticing as they brushed lightly against the backs of her thighs. She had thrown her hair up into a messy bun at some point, exposing a tiny curl of golden hair that stood out almost white on the nape of her neck against her red painted skin. He longed to reach out and curl it around his finger. She was mesmerizing, like a beast in the wild, untamed and majestic. The golden shoe he had swept up as he ran, barely clinging to his limp fingers, hit the ground with a muffled clatter that seemed to break the spell on them both. She dropped the matching shoe and brought her hand to her lips as her chest heaved with her adrenaline-fueled breaths. Then she finally spoke to him.

"Hi Natsu." She still faced away from him, but he could feel and hear her soft smile.

"Hi Weirdo," he replied, startling a laugh from her. She turned her head, meeting his eyes over her shoulder with her deep chocolate brown gaze. A gaze he had seen in his flashbacks and dreams from the moment they had bumped into each other at the train station. Her body followed her head, exposing the feathers he had so lovingly painted across her chest, arms and thighs.

"Its Lucy...actually," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

* * *

 **Aaaaaand, I'm evil. I know. Part Three, with lemony goodness will go up tomorrow. hehe.**


	16. The Phoenix - Part Three

**This part is basically all citrus. Enjoy. You've been warned. hehe.**

* * *

"Its Lucy...actually," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

And at that moment he couldn't stand not touching her any longer.

Natsu covered the distance between them in three steps, claiming her mouth with his as his eyes slammed closed. One hand immediately cradled her head, holding her against his lips, while the other snaked around her waist, caressing the skin he had been dreaming of touching for so long.

Lucy responded immediately, thrusting her fingers into his hair, and pulling her body closer to his. She couldn't think. Her brain had shut down the minute his lips hit hers, opening her up like a raw nerve to the sheer sensation that was Natsu. His arm around her waist tugged her hips forward the last few inches that separated them as he invaded her mouth with his tongue and groaned, even deeper than he always did when she was eating something decadent. She moaned in response and sucked on his tongue, enjoying the way the toned arm circling her waist pulled her tighter when she did. Every touch, every caress, every move he made felt familiar and yet exciting and new all at once. It felt like coming home after being away for far too long.

One hand descended from his hair and clutched at his shoulder, desperately clinging to him as he bent her backwards at the waist.

Suddenly behind them, they heard giggling and the rustling of dry corn stalks.

Pulling away from the kiss, but not letting go of his hold on Lucy (BECAUSE FUCKING A, HE WAS FINALLY HOLDING HER!), Natsu opened the gate and pulled her through after him, turning left to duck behind the high stone wall. He trapped her against the wall and attacked her lips again, feeling like those lips were his lifeline.

How had he stood not feeling her gorgeous body pressed up against him like this all those months? How had he lived without her soft skin under his fingers? Without hearing her soft sighs brushing against his ear? His hand ran up her spine and back down the bared skin, sliding his hand under the opening of her low-backed dress to get a better grip on her waist. Lucy shivered in his arms as he caressed the sensitive skin. His other hand moved quickly from her neck to her side, thumb resting just below her breast under the arm she had raised so her hand could bury itself in his hair. She tugged on his hair and it sent a zap of pleasure running through him. Too much more of this and he'd be taking her right here against this wall. He bit her lower lip to get her attention.

Lucy's eyes popped open at the sharp nip he gave her, pulling back just enough to look him in the eyes. They were both still breathing hard, though it had nothing to do with their run through the maze anymore. His hips pressed hers into the wall and she could feel his arousal as he took her face in his hands and leaned his forehead against hers, their eyes too close to truly focus, but still, somehow too far away. Lucy clung to his shoulders, feeling drunk. She pushed back on his hips, subconsciously searching for the answer to the question her body was screaming at her.

"I have been dreaming of doing this for so long," he whispered, finally breaking their silence. She breathed out a laugh.

"Understatement of the year," she replied against his lips, unable to stay away from them for long. He tasted like caramel apple pops, a personal Halloween favorite of hers, and she couldn't get enough. He ran his lips over hers a couple of times. His eyes locked with hers as his hands drifted down to her hips, one continuing still lower, until it finally met bare thigh.

She shivered at his light touch, her eyes falling closed at the feeling of his fingers finally _really_ on her skin. For months she had been attuned to his body, feeling his slightest movement; any touch of his own fingers on his own skin. But feeling it firsthand was like getting oxygen at the peak of a mountain after months of climbing deprived. And his touch was hotter. So much more heat transferred from his skin to hers than when she felt him touch himself. It was like she was being caressed by fire as his grip strengthened and his hand explored the exposed skin of her thigh. Compared to a moment ago, he seemed to be holding back, determined to go slow. The contained strength and power simmering beneath his skin seemed to sizzle through her wherever their bodies were touching. Her fingers in his hair and on his shoulder, his burning hand inside her dress, the arm splayed across her back, and even forehead pressed to hers. The fingers making soft circles down her leg were almost more than she could stand. Every movement sent pulses of heat thrumming through her body to her belly. Her legs quivered with it. If he didn't kiss her soon, she was going to end up throwing herself on him in desperation.

As if he could sense her frustration and arousal, he kissed her softly then, coaxing, as he found her knee and gently tugged on it until she shifted her weight and lifted it off the ground. He raised it slowly, the hem of her dress rising to match it, until her knee was hitched around his hip and her silk covered core pressed against his own barely covered arousal.

At the long awaited contact, they both moaned softly, Lucy grinding her hips into his hardness in a quest for more. More sensation, more heat, just, more Natsu. The hot hand holding her knee slid back up her painted thigh and under her skirt, getting a full handful of her generous derriere. His lips broke away from hers as he glanced down, as though he could see the bare skin his fingers had encountered. A little more exploring found the string of her thong and he groaned against her mouth again, his other hand finding it's way under her skirt to feel her other luscious cheek. With a firm grip, he lifted her to press more securely against his erection and she eagerly wrapped her other leg around his hip with a whimper as the thin slip of satin pressed between them was quickly saturated with the slick substance between her thighs.

They could hear giggling not too far off on the other side of the wall, so he pulled her closer against him, supporting her weight on his hands, and moved them several feet down the wall, taking the opportunity to enjoy the incredible view of Lucy's cleavage reflecting the moonlight in metallic swirls. He couldn't resist biting her lips again as he pushed her back up against the wall in front of him.

For the first time all day, Natsu regretted painting her. All he wanted to do was lick her from cleavage to collarbone and back again. But he didn't particularly like the idea of a mouthful of paint. He frantically surveyed her skin, searching in vain for an inch without color, his sudden desire to taste her becoming an unbearable need in moments.

"Natsu?" Her breathless inquiry brought his questing eyes back to her face instantly. She looked slightly down at him from her seat in his arms and traced her thumb roughly over his lips. He bit her thumb lightly, a smear of paint coming away with it. He cringed at the taste. Seeming to suddenly understand, she rubbed the wet substance between her thumb and finger as he leaned her into the wall and dragged a trail of closed mouth kisses down her neck.

"Hey, do you want to get out of here?" she said suddenly. He pulled back, looking her in the eye. She looked fired up and hungry. And more than a little desperate. "Shower, maybe?" He grinned.

"More than anything." Then he was struck by a random memory. "Or maybe we don't have to go that far." He adjusted his grip, settling an arm under her ass so he could steady her back with the other. She clenched her legs more securely around his hips and wrapped her arms around his neck. He groaned and stopped moving as his brain promptly stopped working.

"Gods, Lucy, can you do that again in, like, five minutes?" His muffled words prompted her to look down where she was practically smothering him with her breasts. He didn't seem to mind though, nuzzling every inch of skin he could. She promptly leaned back a bit, seeing, with amusement, that his pupils were blown so wide, his beautiful green eyes overcome by black.

"Maybe I should just walk…" Lucy said as she unlocked her legs and let one fall to catch her. Natsu gently lowered her until she was standing, grabbing one of her hands and immediately dragging her down a path through some trees behind Lamia's house. She carefully picked her way behind him, wishing she had put her stupid shoes back on, but making do.

"Yes, there it is!" Natsu muttered to himself as they cleared the little forested area and came out right on the shore of a small lake, still and shimmering in the moonlight.

"It's so beautiful," Lucy breathed stopping to stare when Natsu dropped her hand.

"Yeah, and wet!" he replied, walking toward the water.

"Wait! Stop!" He did as instructed.

"What?" She took her phone out of the front of her dress and opened up her camera app.

"I want to get pictures before it's destroyed!" Natsu rolled his eyes and posed while she took a dozen pictures of his body, the flash picking up what the moon didn't. When she finally seemed to be done, scrolling through to look at the pictures she had taken, he went for her phone.

"Ok, your turn." But Lucy snatched her phone back from him, giving him a little smile.

"I took some earlier, actually." Natsu's eyebrows went up and he made another grab for her phone, this time with no resistance. He scrolled back through the pictures until he hit one of her in a mirror fully dressed. It looked like it could have been her bedroom. Back a few more, she had shots of her back, and then a few more swipes in, he hit paydirt.

She was topless, wearing a short red skirt to cover up the pale skin around her pantyline that hadn't gotten painted. His mouth went dry and Lucy easily took the moment to steal her phone back from him, setting it on a large rock a safe distance from the water. He made a mental note to borrow her phone and send that picture to himself later. She turned her back to him, unzipping and peeling the dress down, shimmying it off her hips to drop to a pile on the ground. Her unpainted ass would have been funny if Natsu hadn't been so distracted by the fact she was taking off her underwear. She glanced over her shoulder, meeting his eye for only a moment before looking away again.

"Aren't you coming?"

Natsu smirked and shrugged, running down the nearby dock and jumping off the end. A cloud of red and gold stained the water around where he went in as he popped his head up out of the ripples he had created. Lucy walked a little more slowly after him down the dock, one hand wrapped around her chest. His eyes roamed over her hungrily, watching the red marks run and fade. Using his hands, he scrubbed over his body and face washing off as much as he could, before looking at her again.

Her pale skin glowed in the moonlight, looking truly naked now, but almost more beautiful as lingering streaks of red faded away.

"Stop staring!" she barked at him, forgetting to cover herself as her hands flew to her hips and opened herself up for his viewing pleasure. Gods she was beautiful.

"If you don't want me staring at you, then get your ass in here." She sniffed and carefully made her way down the rest of the dock, finally reaching the end and diving off into the water gracefully.

Lucy resurfaced a second later, smoothing her hair out of her face as she came up. The red water had turned her hair a little pink.

"Hey, now you look like me!" Natsu said, jokingly, reaching out to touch her, only to have her pull away from him.

"Uh-uh. I'm naked!" Natsu quirked an eyebrow at her. Lucy was such a weirdo. Like he didn't already know every inch of her body as though it were his own, her hands mapping it out for him over the months.

"Ok…" he pulled his swimming trunks off under the water and wrung them out a little, throwing the sopping bundle up onto the dock. "Now I am too!" He grinned at her.

She laughed at him, distracted enough not to notice he was closing the distance between them. When she finally did, she gasped and darted away, heading back toward shore down the side of the dock. She was just able to touch the bottom with her toes when he caught her, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her flush with his body. She blushed as she felt her skin slip over his, but didn't have much time to think about it before he kissed her again, invading her mouth with his tongue for only a moment before moving to kiss her neck, sucking on a spot that made her knees buckle. He ran his tongue over the chain still around her throat and pulled back for a second, a hand coming up to brush the pendant out of the way. But the moonlight caught on something that made him pause. He leaned out of the path of the light, examined the little golden heart closer and grinned.

"You planned this!" he suddenly accused her. "You knew I was coming tonight, didn't you?!" His arms pulled her closer to him in delight.

Lucy blushed and bit her lip. He could only watch her for a moment before he had to do it for her. Bite her, that is. Which led him to nibble on her upper lip too, until he eventually pulled back to let her answer.

"I hoped you would," she said, a hand coming up to touch the pendant against her throat. He grabbed her legs and wrapped them loosely around his waist again, so she floated in the water with him as her anchor.

"I love you, you know," he said seriously, looking her straight in the eye.

"Well, that's good. Because I love you too," she replied, her grin starting to match the one he was wearing.

Then, as he leaned in and nipped at the hickey he had just given her at the crook of her neck, one of Natsu's hands slid up her leg, to her hip and then continued up her side until his thumb brushed the underside of her breast. The feeling of his hot digit sweeping over water cooled skin sent a jolt of pleasure down her abdomen, landing between her legs, which clenched around him a little closer. He swept his tongue up her neck to her ear as he slid his hand fully onto her supple breast, lightly brushing her straining nipple with his thumb. Lucy moaned in response, grabbing his wet hair and dragging his lips back to hers. She attacked him with gusto then, pulling her body closer as he roughly palmed her breast and their tongues danced in the hot space they created between their open lips.

Lucy rolled her hips against him, her core sliding against something hard, making them both moan. The hand on her breast slid down her stomach, reaching between them to ghost over her wet curls. He paused there, just barely touching her and pulled away from her lips.

"Lucy, is this wh-" he was cut off as she kissed him again, bucking her hips intentionally into his hand.

"Gods yes," she moaned into his mouth.

That was all he needed to hear. His long finger parted her and he found her slick little bundle of nerves with his thumb as he slid his finger into her to the first knuckle.

"Oh, fuck," she swore roughly into his ear as he pulled the digit out of her and then pushed it back in, further this time. Feeling her warm walls sucking him in, he added a second finger and curled them, pushing the rough tips of his fingers against her roughly, stretching her. She cried out at that, clutching him and arching her back, unable to concentrate on kissing him anymore as the combined sensations of the cool water surrounding them and his hot fingers fucking her shut down her brain. He took advantage of her exposed neck and sucked on her skin, his hot tongue laving the cool surface in time with the curl of his fingers. It had her moaning and crying out almost continuously then. Her wordless cries echoed out over the water, disapating into the air around them. Thank the gods that lake was deserted. Hearing Lucy lose control was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.

Lucy rolled her hips into his fingers, searching for more and instinctually riding his hand. As he kept up a steady rhythm, he edged her to slightly shallower water until her breasts were fully exposed above the waterline and leaned down to capture a nipple between his teeth, rolling it and flicking the tip with his tongue.

Lucy was in heaven. At least she assumed that's where she was, because she had never experienced anything like this before. It was an overwhelming amount of sensation, twice as stimulating as any of the showers they had taken together, and so much more satisfying. As if to confirm that he really was there between her legs, she ran a hand down his toned chest, crying out as he hit that amazing place inside of her again and again with his fingertips. A hot wire of pleasure ran from between her legs to where he bit lightly and pulled at her nipple with his teeth. Without realizing it, her hand slid lower between them, down the ripples of his abs and brushed against his erection.

Natsu took a sharp intake of breath and his lips left her breast as he felt her small hand close around him. He was so hard at that point that the slightest brush of her fingers sent a jolt of oversensitized pleasure through him. And when she started to stroke him, closing that tight fist around him, his brain stopped and so did his breathing. It took a roll of her hips against his hand to remind him that his fingers were still inside her. He swiftly curled them once more, proud of the loud cry he drew from her, before removing his fingers, using his thumb to circle her engorged clit at an agonizing pace. A single thought beat down anything else he could possibly be thinking: he had to be inside Lucy. As soon as fucking possible.

And thank the gods, Lucy seemed to be thinking the same thing. She guided his stiff length to push his fingers out of the way and pressed the firm head against herself, slipping over her clit as she struggled to align herself with him. Lucy moaned into his mouth at the sensation.

Natsu opened his eyes and grabbed Lucy's neck with one hand, startling her into opening her eyes and looking at him. The desperate question in his eyes was answered quickly and clearly with a breathless grin accompanying her nod, and Lucy lined him up just in time for his push into her.

Between the water and her own slippery wetness, he met little friction, her tight walls closing in around him as he tried to take it slow. But she had other ideas.

Lucy wanted him to fill her up, to stretch her out! His hesitant pace was itching at her, until she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his shoulders and rolled her hips, pushing herself onto him until he filled her to the hilt. It stung a little, but finally satisfied that empty feeling she'd been looking to fill since his fingers had left her.

Natsu's hands gripped her waist and braced her as he pulled out slightly and then dove back in.

"Fuck, Lucy," he moaned into her neck. "You're so tight its insane! Do you work out down there or something? I'm not hurting you am I?" She laughed at his sudden rambling, reminded that he was in fact the slightly goofy guy she had fallen in love with steadily, but surely over the last few months. He was pretty sure her laughing meant she was ok, but just to make sure, he focused all of his attention on her, on feeling what she felt through their bond. Then, when he could feel the air entering her lungs in burning breaths, he pulled away and thrust back in carefully.

The wave of pleasure he felt from her hit him like a freight train, almost sending him into an orgasm as she moaned his name. _That's_ what she was feeling?!

"Holy shit Lucy, does it feel like that every time?!" he choked out, fingers clenching around her plump ass cheeks again as he struggled to keep from releasing. He was no hair-trigger, at least he never used to be, but the overwhelming combination of his pleasure plus hers was fucking incredible. Her muscles clenched down on him and he whimpered, his jaw clenching. He was not going to fucking come until she did, damnit. He was better than that.

She opened her eyes at the sound, her shining brown eyes black and silver in the moonlight, hazy and full of lust.

"What? Does what feel like what?" she said somewhat incoherently.

"I just...felt what you feel, when I do this," he thrust into her again, feeling her reaction again, though better prepared for it this time. He couldn't stop himself this time, rocking into her steadily now. "And it almost made me...Fuck! You are so fucking tight! Does it feel like that every time?!" He thrust particularly deep to illustrate his point.

"Doesn't it...feel like that...for you?" Lucy gasped as she rolled her hips back, pulling off of him slightly and closed her eyes to concentrate on him before clenching her legs again and pulling him back into her with a clench of her inner muscles. Her vision burst into white and her fingers clamped down on him as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her. Natsu's mouth dropped open as he felt her milking him, and clenched his teeth for all he was worth, every muscle in his body tensed as he froze. He couldn't bear to leave her but he wasn't about to let himself blow inside her either. He could do this. He was fucking Natsu Dragneel. There were girls who still called him when they came back into town. What good was all the practice freshman year if he couldn't even do this?

Just as he felt her coming down from her climax he pulled out of her, not quite leaving her completely and pushed back in again, beginning a rhythm that pushed her orgasm out for several moments before it backed off. His mind was blank as he drove into her, concentrating on her pleasure with every stroke. It was driving him wild, feeling her pleasure mingling with his own. It was all he could do to hold out on his own climax. He was determined to make this last. Just a little bit longer.

Lucy couldn't feel her fingers as she grasped onto Natsu with everything she had. She had thought just being touched by him was good, and then having him fill her up was great, but tuning in her mind to what his body was feeling? On top of the heat he was stoking up in her again? It was phenomenal. Scintillating. Effervescent! She didn't even have enough perfect words in her vast vocabulary to describe it. She could feel the tingles returning to her fingers and her head going woozy from lack of oxygen as the tension built in her again. Natsu's strokes had become shorter, harder, and more frantic, pressing her back into the deck support and slamming into her as deeply as he could go. It was all her body needed to push it over the edge, her world exploding in brightness again as he hastily pulled out of her and climaxed harmlessly into the water. They shared a breathless moment, staring into one another's eyes before Natsu pulled her body back up against his and kissed her firmly. Then, strengthening his grip on her, he made his way to shore, sliding a little on the slimy rocks of the lakebed. Lucy clung to him, muscles shaking, until he eventually lowered her onto the dock itself, next to her clothes. He had to hold her steady as her legs gave way multiple times before actually doing their job and holding her up. At least long enough to pull on her underwear and dress again. Then he sat her down on a large rock and hunted down his own swimming trunks, wringing them out and pulling up the clingy shorts that plastered themselves to his skin. He wrinkled his nose and took a few steps. It was incredibly uncomfortable, but hopefully, they'd be dry soon.

When he got back to Lucy, he knelt in front of her, offering his back.

"Hop on up. Let's get the hell out of here and shower."

"You don't need to carry me. I can walk," Lucy said stubbornly, barely managing to stand before her legs collapsed again and she fell onto his back anyway. The blonde looked down at her legs, disgruntled by their betrayal. Well, she had been clenching her leg muscles pretty much the last half and hour. Plus orgasming twice. It was sort of understandable.

"Aaaaaand, I rest my case," Natsu replied, grabbing her shaking legs and hiking her up a little higher on his back.

"Damnit Natsu...always gotta be right…" she grumbled into his ear, resting her head against his shoulder with a smile that belied her words. Her wet hair dripped down onto his shoulders as he tried really really hard not to think of what parts of her were pressed up against his back. Swimwear did not give a man a lot of leeway. Especially wet swimwear. And he could already tell it wouldn't take much for him to be hot and ready for Lucy again. She just had that effect on him.

But first, they desperately needed showers.

"Which way to your place?" he chirped over his shoulder, straightening and heading back to the corn maze.

"It's not too far. I've got an apartment at Fairy Hills," Lucy replied, playing with a lock of his wet hair with her fingers as she relaxed blissfully against his warmth. The breeze that had felt so good earlier was chilling the water on her skin. So Natsu's body warmth was much appreciated.

He stopped walking for a second.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You have lived THAT CLOSE this entire time?! FUCK!"

She giggled at his outburst as he proceeded forward again. They had reached the end of the maze, Natsu stooping over so that Lucy could grab her abandoned shoes before exiting the maze and taking a shortcut around the stone wall instead. Natsu kept up a steady stream of swearing and complaints about the fact she had been under his nose the whole time until they rounded the corner and Lucy recognized a few of the group of people standing in front of the maze.

"Levy! Gajeel!" she shouted, waving an arm enthusiastically, causing Natsu to stumble crookedly for a moment. His own legs weren't feeling particularly stable at the moment either…but he couldn't help but grin. Totally worth it.

"Oh my gods, Lucy! We were just looking for you! Where have you-"

"Holy shit you fuckin' did it!" a voice interrupted Levy from behind them. Natsu turned to see his roommate with his arm around some random chick. "You found her! About fucking time!"

Lucy stared, perplexed, at the fit man dressed like an Olympic swimmer in front of her. His fingers fluttered around the tight waistband of the speedo he wore, and it hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Gray! You must be Gray! Hi! I'm Lucy! It's nice to finally meet you!"

"You too! We should get coffee sometime and I can tell you why this loser isn't worth your time," he joked affectionately. Natsu gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes. Then he felt the cool metal of Lucy's pendant against the back of his neck. He leaned in close to his roommate and smirked.

"Sorry Ice-Pop, it's a little late for that. Lucy, why don't you show him what that necklace of yours says." Lucy, a little embarrassed, but mostly deliriously happy, tugged the pendant around in front of her and held it out so Gray could read it. He had just enough time to make out what it said before Natsu took off in long strides around the side of the house, yelling back over his shoulder.

"We'll see you later. Lucy's got several months of playing keep away to make up to me."

Lucy shivered at his words and her arms wrapped around him tighter. That sounded fair to her. She yelled back to the group.

"Bye guys! See you all Monday!"

Erza, who had walked up behind Gray with Mystogan just in time to hear Natsu tell Lucy to show Gray the necklace, cleared her throat.

"So, what did it say?" she finally asked. Gray grinned back at her.

Levy and Gajeel grinned too. They had known Lucy's plans from the beginning. Levy had been particularly proud of Gajeel for not spilling the beans as he painted the wings on Natsu's back that morning. Subtly and secrets were definitely not his thing, but he had done an excellent job of zipping his lips. He would be handsomely rewarded when they got home.

Finally, Gray replied, his grin growing.

"Lucy Heartfilia, Property of Natsu Dragneel, Fire Dragon of Fairy Tail."

They all shared a smile.

Those two were clearly made for each other.

* * *

 **And, we're just gonna ignore the facts that lakes are gross and dirty and go with it...hurray for fiction and it's lack of realistic bacteria! hehe**


	17. Slow Speed World

**I'm going swimming for the afternoon, so I'm posting the last two for the day now, just in case I forget in a sun drunk haze later! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Slow Speed World**

In which Lucy has a lazy day and Natsu's cat gets in trouble.

* * *

Lucy was enjoying her day off. The national holiday meant she didn't have class, or work, and while she had a research paper waiting for her to stop procrastinating, she just couldn't rustle up the gumption to do anything but lay around and read. She snuggled into her window seat, the light patter of rain on her window soothing away any thoughts of productivity, and turned the page.

' _One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.'_

Austen always got her thinking. She missed her library at home, the sunny room always a peaceful, comfortable place to unwind. Plus, the wheelie ladder that she could sail around the room on, like Belle, didn't hurt. There were a lot of things she missed about her former residence. Never having to clean or do her laundry. Having something delicious on hand within minutes from their personal chef. She would have had to be crazy not to enjoy those things. And those aspects of her past had only gotten rosier as she learned how the other half lived.

Though, learning how to take care of herself did bring a spark of adventure to everything. The smell of her first batch of undamaged laundry tumbling warm out of the dryer was something she would never forget. It reminded her of how she used to dive into the clean laundry baskets to hide from her mother when they played hide and seek.

And the whir of the vacuum as it picked up bits of dirt and gravel from her carpeting, leaving behind fluffy, clean fibers was a satisfying sound that her kitty Leo had always hated. She liked to imagine he was sitting just out of eyesight while she worked, waiting to pounce on the evil monster in his home as he always did. She missed Leo. It wasn't practical to take him when she left, but she wished she could get him back somehow now. If her father hadn't thrown him out. Her lips pulled into a frown. She hoped he was ok.

Lucy was just finding her place on the page again when she felt a tingle on her arm. Eyebrows furrowing she pulled up the sleeve of her coziest sweater and looked down at what Natsu was writing to her.

 **hey Luce. whats with the long face? rain gotcha down?** Lucy's eyebrows snapped together and she reflexively looked out her window. As though she would see him staring out from the nearby tree or something. Then she realized her idiotic mistake. He had felt her frowning, not seen it. Lazy Lucy wasn't the quickest rat in the maze.

 _Just thinking about my cat back where I used to live. Couldn't take him with me._

Instead of a response, Lucy felt Natsu stroking soft fur and the rumble of a purr roll through her thighs. She smiled, closing her eyes and picturing her fluffy tabby tomcat under her fingertips. It was almost like having him in her arms. Which sent an irrational shiver of fear down her back. It had only been a couple of weeks since the crazy-cat-zombie-apocalypse and there was still a part of her that feared waking up to find a cat sharpening its claws on her ankles, or chewing on her hair.

 _I forgot you had a cat._ She responded after a few minutes. _They let you keep him in your fraternity?_

 **let is kind of a strong word… its more like they can't stop what they don't know about…**

Lucy laughed, knowing he could feel her mirth. It was nice not to have to write out silly acronyms to show her reactions, like she did when she texted Levy. They were necessary, but using them always made her feel like a bimbo. A second later her phone notified her that she had a picture message. She smiled and opened up the message.

She almost fell off the window seat. It was a picture of the cat that had first attacked her! While she was trying to write! She read the message with the picture twice. What were the fucking chances? Immediately, she hit the call button for Natsu.

"Well, hi there," Natsu's lazy voice answered the phone, a hint of flirtation in it. Unfortunately for him, Lucy's brain was elsewhere.

"Your fucking cat attacked me last week!"

"Um, what?"

"Your cat. The one in the picture you just sent. He attacked me and stole my pen on the green last week!"

"Um...maybe?"

"Wait...you knew?" Natsu opened his mouth to tell her that his cat had brought home a Heartfilia Hotels pen and he had put it together. Only to realize he wasn't supposed to know her last name. Shit.

"Uh, no, he just...does that a lot! He's got a whole pile of pens and stuff that he's stolen from people." There, that sounded like a normal response right?

"Oh. Well, you should keep a better eye on him! He led a massive cat rebellion against me. I was spritzing for my life out there!"

Natsu's eyebrows went up, but he didn't comment on her somewhat indecipherable rant. Lucy was just weird. And he liked her that way. If he questioned everything she said and did, where would the mystery be.

"Well, sorry?" He could hear Lucy starting to growl at him. Like actually growl over the phone. " I mean, on behalf of my smartass cat, I apologize profusely for any trouble he might have caused you…" Natsu's eyes flicked down to the cat in his lap who had a very self-satisfied look on his face. Narrowing his eyes at Happy, Natsu moved the ball of fluff from his lap and got up to inspect the ever growing pile of stuff Happy had stashed behind his desk.

Apparently his cat had been busy. Two more pens, a few notebook pages with crossed out writing that were torn to pieces, a shoe, and the piece de resistance, a small leather purse that had bite marks on every reachable surface.

"Uh, Lucy, you didn't happen to lose a purse did you? Or...a shoe?"

"ARE YOU FUCKING TELLING ME YOUR CAT HAS MY PURSE?! AND MY SHOES?! What kind of animal is that thing?!"

Natsu cleared his throat as he held the phone away from his ear. Lucy could be fucking loud when she wanted to be. He could almost hear her through the bond even. He shot his cat an irritated look, pointing at his phone.

"Dammit Happy, could you maybe _not_ make her hate us anymore?" he griped, a thumb over the microphone on his phone as Lucy continued to rail at him.

Happy licked his nose and meowed at Natsu, hopping up off the couch to roll around in his pile of treasures.

"Fuckin' hoarder," Natsu said under his breath as he wedged his phone between his ear and his shoulder and subconsciously opened the drawer where he'd stashed Lucy's pen. He began twirling it through his fingers as he listened to Lucy lose steam. Slowly. Over many cuss-word-filled minutes. He couldn't help but smile. Only she could sound so good yelling at him.

He started doodling a cat chasing a ball of yarn on his leg, inciting a new spurt of chastisement as Lucy realized he wasn't listening. He added another cat, with a shoe in its mouth, sitting on a handbag. More cats joined that one, ready to pounce on the cat with the shoe.

Eventually Lucy's tirade tapered off into the usual state of awed bliss she embodied when he drew on her.

Somehow the rest of the day wiled away as Lucy returned to her book, and Natsu doodled, each tossing out a word on the phone when the moment called for it.

They both smiled and sighed in contentment.

Nothing beat a lazy day of doing nothing important in a slow speed world.


	18. The Girl's Face He Saw

**The Girl's Face He Saw**

In which Natsu struggles to remember a dream. Set before the beginning of Passive Aggressive Post-Its.

* * *

Natsu lay in bed staring at his ceiling and trying to remember the details of his dream.

The house was quiet for mid-day, as it only was during the summer months, few of the guys living-in over the summer session. Natsu was one of the only all-year-rounders. He had no one waiting for him to visit at home, and no old bedroom left to haunt, so why bother moving all of his shit out for a few months?

Gray was still at Ur's, where Natsu had gotten back from visiting a week or so ago. His stomach still churned thinking of the train ride he'd had to take back to Magnolia, but at least it had been better coming back than heading out. Taking a train in nothing but his underwear and scarf had not added to the charm of motion sickness, to say the least.

Stupid fuckin bet. He should have known a sucker's bet when he saw one. _Of course_ Gray could keep his hand in a bucket of ice water longer. The real mystery was how he had goaded Natsu into the bet in the first place. He still couldn't quite remember the circumstances.

But that wasn't what was on Natsu's mind. He was still trying to grasp at the edges of the dream world. A beautiful smile, and sparkling eyes. Something about the lingering images in his mind putting him at peace. And then she was gone, his foggy mind waking up for the day, forgetting entirely the girl's face he saw.

* * *

 **I haven't really liked the prompts for this Nalu week, so I did what I always do and used FT chapter titles to inspire me instead. This one just had to become this little drabble.**


	19. Lucy vs Flare

**Lucy vs. Flare**

An AU in which Natsu gets hit on. And Lucy kicks ass.

* * *

Lucy threw her right fist full force into the punching bag.

But that wasn't enough.

She ran her knee into it twice, then hooked her left fist into the swinging bag.

Still not enough.

She did a series of punches, ending in a high roundhouse that made her leg sting as it connected to the heavy bag. Her breath was coming out in short, heavy bursts, but she didn't stop. The anger and frustration burning through her veins was fueling a cycle of rage she couldn't seem to burn off, no matter how many pieces of gym equipment she beat up. Maybe she needed a sparring partner. She turned from the bag, setting her shoulders more firmly and adjusting the wraps on her hands.

About a dozen pairs of eyes conspicuously turned away from her all at once. It didn't do much for her mood.

Fucking pervs. If they got off watching hot girls beat the shit out of punching bags, that was their own business. Just leave her out of it. She thought by now Erza would have dissuaded them from that kind of behavior.

Then, for the first time in the last couple of hours, her lips curved up into a smile, and she scanned the room for the redhead. Who, it turns out, was the only pair of eyes that hadn't reverted back to something else when she turned. Instead, the svelte boxer met her eyes and started to make her way over.

"Need a sparring partner, Lucy?" she queried with a raised eyebrow, seeing the sweat coating the blonde's cute, but more revealing than usual, workout ensemble. "I noticed you seem to be working through something…"

Lucy's eyes involuntarily traveled to her bandage wrapped hand, reflexively pulled back to the source of her ire. Her eyebrows furrowed and her smile dropped into a frown.

"Yeah, I'm just upset about something that I really have no right to be upset about...but that isn't stopping me from wanting to beat the shit out of him. I mean, it. I mean...honestly, anything really. But the punching bag just isn't doing it for me. You game?" Lucy rustled up a rusty excuse for a smile to her newest friend. After they had bonded over their mutual love of strawberry cake, the redhead was the one that had insisted Lucy come check out her boxing gym. Which, in a crazy random happenstance happened to be Gajeel's dad's old gym. Small fucking world. So, they had sparred a couple times before, Lucy usually losing in an almost embarrassingly short time. But today, she didn't care. She just wanted to fight.

As Erza nodded and led Lucy to an open ring, climbing carefully through the bungee ropes, the blonde took a moment to glare at her arm. Conspicuously empty. Unlike her fucking hand. She accepted a pair of boxing gloves from Erza and strapped them on.

Was he ever going to explain himself? Or was he too busy with _her_?

As Lucy and Erza circled each other, drawing a crowd of watchers from the farthest corners of the gym, Lucy worked to block it all out, focusing on the events that had lead her here to give her anger-fueled adrenaline a boost. Erza would probably end up winning, but Lucy hoped she could hold her own for a little longer this time.

And she wouldn't even be at the stupid gym trying to bust open a giant bag of sand if it weren't for the stupid phone number on her hand.

* * *

 _An unimportant number of hours earlier…_

Lucy sat staring at the phone number that had appeared on her hand while she slept with a bubble of excitement under her ribs. She and her mysterious skin-texter had been talking for a few weeks now, and though she didn't know his name, or where he lived, or anything one would normally think was important for even an acquaintance, she had discovered that she was developing feelings for him.

Nothing major yet, just a little flutter in her stomach when he wrote to her, or a smile that crept up without her realizing it when she found herself thinking about him.

Which happened more than she would admit to anyone. Even Levy. Because it was crazy to have a crush on someone she knew nothing about, right?

But there was just something about him...it was like he could read her mind sometimes. They were that in tune with each other.

Plus, there had to be a reason they had this weird skin transference power, right? Whether it was that they were supposed to team up and become vigilante superheroes, or that they were meant to find each other and fall in love, they were clearly linked by fate for _some_ purpose. So, Lucy had allowed herself to develop a fondness for this boy-like man.

And now, he had sent her his phone number. Right?

Because why else would a random phone number appear on her hand overnight? He must have gotten drunk, decided he _was_ in fact ready to take their relationship to the next level and written it to her before passing out. And come on, it had 'CALL ME' written clear as day! Could that message be any clearer?

So, Lucy reached for her phone, just as the clock on her bedside table clicked over to ten o'clock. Because that was a respectable time to wake up, right? Right.

She dialed the number on her hand and hit the little phone symbol, connecting the call with bated breath. Her stomach churned. She was going to get to hear him soon! Maybe right now!

Then someone answered.

"Um, hello?"

And Lucy's stomach dropped. That couldn't be him. That was a woman's voice.

"Hello?! Is there someone there?" The voice on the other end of the line got annoyed at her silence. Lucy snapped out of her shock and responded.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I woke up with this number written on my hand, so I thought I'd give it a call."

"Oh...well, that's weird. I only gave my number to one person last night...and you're definitely not that hot guy. Cause Natsu just left my place." Her tone was smug as she unknowingly stomped all over Lucy's hopes and heart.

Natsu. That was his name.

And he had spent the night at some other girl's house last night. Lucy knew she should just make up some excuse about having the wrong number and hang up the phone, leaving the hussyslut alone, but her curiosity wouldn't let her.

"Huh, that's funny, Natsu didn't mention he was going out last night when we talked yesterday. Where'd you guys meet?" Lucy bit her lip at her gamble. It wasn't a total lie. He hadn't mentioned his intention to go out in any of their conversations yesterday...she just hadn't known the pink-haired hottie from her dreams, that she had once run into at the train station, was named Natsu.

And it was normal to ask where they met right? Ok, no, that was stalkery. But fuck that. She wanted to know who this bitch was. And maybe a general direction to start looking for her arm-writing pal.

"We met at Eclipse last night, not that it's any of your business. Who the fuck are you?" Eclipse! That was in Magnolia! He fucking actually lived in her town?!

"A friend of Natsu's. We have plans later." What? Seriously, what the fuck Lucy? Where the fuck was all the bullshit coming from? She had no fucking clue, and yet the word vomit just kept on flowing. "We have plans to spar together in an hour or so, so I was just surprised to hear he was still at some hussyslut's place." She could practically feel the other woman bristling on the other end of the phone.

"Huh, well that sure is interesting, since I've got plans with him in a couple hours to do exactly that. Guess he forgot about you. Sucks to be that forgettable huh?"

Lucy's blood heated up, simmering just below boiling as her heart sunk deeper into the stomach acid she could feel eating away at it. She had known he went to the gym a lot. He was a boxer, and talked about going there all the time. It had been a gamble. But it hadn't paid off.

Unless this bitch was bluffing too.

Weighing her options, she decided to go all in.

"Well, then I'm sure I'll see you there, Metallicana's right?"

"Yeah, guess I'll see you there, bitch." The other woman hung up the phone and Lucy stopped breathing. It had been a total fucking guess. With Magnolia confirmed as his place of residence, she had named the gym her friend Erza had taken her to a couple of times as a total guess. But that had confirmed it. He went there. If the bitchy owner of that stupid phone number really had a gym date with him, then Lucy could run into him there today.

What had she gotten herself into?! He had clearly slept with this other woman, and possibly had arranged to meet up with her again, so how the fuck would it help that she could see him? Why had she lied so blatantly? It wasn't like she had any right to be territorial of him. He was just the guy she had discovered shared her skin one day. They had no understanding (as Jane Austen would so delicately put it *sigh*), neither had confessed their undying love, or even flirted all that much.

But now Lucy had locked herself into her lie, and she was going to see it through. She tried to wash the phone number off her hand, but the Sharpie had just faded a bit, still clearly legible. So she had put on her cutest, and most revealing gym outfit (because if she ran into him and this bitch together, at least she'd have her entire physical arsenal at her disposal. After all, there was like a 90% chance she had a nicer body than the bitch. That was just a fucking fact). Pulling a loose tank top over her low-cut sports bra and hot pants, she laced up her matching crosstrainers and headed for the door.

She needed a work out anyway. She totally wasn't going to spy on Natsu and his maybe girlfriend.

Totally.

* * *

Lucy ducked her friend's right hook and swept out a leg to trip the redhead, failing to catch her leg, but throwing her slightly off balance as she leaped over it, enough to get in a punch to her stomach before dancing away again. Erza had a speculative gleam to her eye Lucy hadn't seen before. It could have been because she was actually holding her own for once. The ire that had been driving her to beat the shit out of stuff the last hour (in between obsessive checks of the door for his telltale pink hair) had given her a speed and clarity she wasn't used to. She had actually had Erza on the ropes a few times, to her utter surprise.

Maybe the woman was letting her win or something.

She aimed an obvious high kick at the her friend's chest, which was caught and twisted, Lucy leaping up at the last minute to turn with it, landing on the mat on her arms. She quickly regained her breath and popped back up, to block Erza's punch on her forearm. While Lucy had been trained in kickboxing and various martial arts, the gym's only regular female member was a classic boxer, always fighting to the exact specs of regulation. It gave testament to her insane skills, that she still kept up with Lucy's powerful legs without breaking technique and responding in kind.

Eventually, Lucy called time, breathing hard. Her adrenaline was waning, leaving her feeling weak and dehydrated. Erza smiled and offered her hand.

"Lucy, you seriously stepped up your game today. Whoever pissed you off wouldn't have survived the onslaught." The blonde grinned back at her in appreciation for the supportive comment, stepping out of the ring and heading to the vending machines

"Yeah, not gonna lie, I feel like a badass right now. Even after working it off a little." She rolled her shoulders and downed half the bottle of water that tumbled through the machine for her. Her eyebrows descended again shortly though, as she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Yeah, I bet that bitch doesn't even show. She was clearly all talk." A slight woman with red hair secured into an impossibly long braid, and clothes just as skimpy as Lucy's had just walked through the front door of the gym, talking to someone on the phone. Lucy stared her down. That voice…

It was the phone number woman. She had shown up after all. Lucy scanned the sidewalk through the large windows of the gym, hoping for a glimpse of the man himself, but seeing no one else with the woman. Then their eyes met and the woman hung up her phone.

Lucy's glare said everything she needed it to. The redhead's eyes narrowed in response, sizing up the challenge in front of her. She didn't seem to like what she saw. Lucy's lips slid into a confident smirk. Body-wise, Lucy's curves had her beat. Gotta love fucking statistics.

Erza broke the tension, stepping forward and offering Lucy a towel to wipe the sweat from their bout off her brow. She cleared her throat and turned her gaze on the shorter redhead in front of her.

"Erza Scarlet," she said politely, but distantly, sensing the hostility coming off of Lucy in waves was directed at the new gym-goer. "And you are?"

"Flare Corona." Neither woman held out their hand. It wasn't that kind of greeting. If the three women were cats, their fur would have been standing on end, and there would have been hissing. A lot of hissing. And maybe scratching.

"Well, _Flare_ , let's see what you can do." Lucy heard herself spit out. What the fuck? She was tired, running on empty and had no idea what the other woman was capable of. Why the fuck did she keep doing this to herself?! She gestured to the still open ring behind her as though she weren't internally second guessing everything she said.

Flare's eyebrow quirked and an almost insane glimmer shone in her eyes. Lucy suppressed a shiver. There was something not quite right with this woman. But she climbed into the ring and re-wrapped her hands, tightening the bandages where they had come loose in her spar with Erza. Flare stepped in after her. Erza handed each of the girls a pair of gloves and they put them on, neither taking their eyes off the other.

They warily circled for several moments, each trying to take the other's measure.

Eventually, Flare lost her patience and made a sloppy punch toward Lucy's face, that she blocked easily and returned with one of her own, connecting with the girl's cheekbone. The slightly nutso-looking redhead didn't even seem to register the hit, charging the blonde and trying for a hold around her neck. Lucy ducked under her attempt and used the girl's momentum to flip her over on the mat.

Behind her, Lucy was vaguely aware of the crowd of men who had abandoned their workouts to watch the catfight. A mixed chorus of "ohs" range out in sympathy and support as Flare's back hit the mat, covering the sound of the tiny bell signaling a new arrival through the front door. Lucy didn't wait for Flare to get up, using her advantage to straddle the girl and pin down her arms. Suggestive whistles sung up around her from the male peanut gallery (so...are they just a nut gallery at this point? the author wonders…)

Flare bucked her hips harder than Lucy anticipated before she could steady her grip and found herself on her back before she realized what happened. Flare quickly straddled her waist and went for her hands, the way Lucy had. The nut gallery (yeah, I'm going with it) were yelling out encouragement and bets to both girls now, exclamations of "You got this Blondie!", and "Get her Red!" echoing around the hard surfaces of the space.

Lucy bucked her hips first, testing Flare's stance. She had steadied herself early and was leaning all of her weight onto Lucy's arms. She wore a triumphant grin, obviously believing she had won. Lucy struggled to keep a smug grin off her face.

Cocky little bitch.

Perhaps if she had trained with a private self-defense and martial arts specialist for eleven years, Flare would have learned any of the many ways to get out of that hold and how to counteract them. Thankfully for Lucy, Flare had not.

Tensing her core muscles, Lucy lifted her flexible legs, limbered by weekly advanced yoga, and quickly crossed them over the redhead's neck, forcefully pulling her head to the ground and her weight off of Lucy's torso. Then she put a lock on Flare's legs and held, squeezing her opponent's neck with her powerful legs until the crazy bitch was forced to tap out, unable to move. Lucy released her and got to her feet, to the applause and cheering of the nut gallery. She waved a hand blindly at them as she accepted her water from Erza. It had been a while since she had tried to take anyone completely out, and with Erza as a sparring partner, even longer since she had succeeded. The high of the win was flooding through her veins.

And if she felt particularly good for beating Natsu's fuck-buddy (she refused to entertain the idea that he was actually dating this girl), then so be it.

She was handing the towel and water back to Erza, when Flare attacked her. The only warning sign before the redhead jumped on her back and wrapped her arms around Lucy's neck was a single male voice yelling, "Shit!", followed shortly by a hail of curses from the rest of the nut gallery (yeah, I might just enjoy writing that too much…).

Lucy tried prying the arms off her throat, but, though she dug in her nails and almost drew blood, Flare kept her hold. So Lucy did the next best thing. She jumped backwards, landing on Flare, and simultaneously elbowing her ribs, forcing all the air out of her lungs. Lucy could hear the whoosh of the air pushing out of her lungs as the arms around her larynx loosened and she was able to breath. She swiftly rolled off of her attacker and came to a stand, grabbing one of her arms and placing a cross trainer on her shoulder, pressed against her delicate collar bone. She pulled on the arm, pressing more of her weight onto her foot and hissed at the girl below her.

"Yield. Or I dislocate your arm and fucking make you."

The crowd behind her was completely silent, stunned that Flare had attacked her after losing in the first place, but blown away by the ruthlessness in Lucy's words.

Flare stubbornly stared her down.

"Natsu isn't going to like it if you maim me, you know."

Lucy just laughed.

"Natsu would be ashamed to call you friend, let alone a lover, for attacking someone's back. You don't know him at all." She ignored the little voice in her head that said she didn't really know him either and leaned on her leg more. Flare winced.

"Now, yield, or I'll add a broken collarbone to the shoulder as a reminder of the proper sparring etiquette used in this gym."

Unbeknownst to Lucy, Erza wore a proud smile. Erza had outlined her rules of sparring the first day they had met, and Lucy had respected every one of them without question from that moment on. She made a mental note to take Lucy out for cake later.

Flare, going pale at the pressure on her shoulder, finally muttered a response:

"I yield."

A serenade of cheers and "Nice one Lucy!"s erupted from behind her.

Lucy dropped Flare's arm and stepped off of her backing up a step before finally looking at the crowd of males applauding her.

And then she froze.

Because right next to the ring, arms hanging over the ropes and eyebrows furrowed as he stared intently at her, was the pink-haired man she had run into all those months ago at the train station. He wasn't applauding. And he didn't look particularly happy.

Locking eyes with him for just a moment, she bit her lip and swiftly turned away, ripping the straps of her gloves open with her teeth and pulling them off as she exited the other side of the ring, accepting Erza's low five before slipping past her, intent on collecting her gym bag and getting the fuck out of there.

She had just reached the corner with her stuff when she became aware that someone was following her. A hand descended on her shoulder and she instantly reacted, as she was trained to, grabbing the hand, tucking under it and twisting, hard, until her captive danced up onto his toes in pain.

Only, instead of that response, he followed her motion, circling her and bringing his arm around until he secured her from behind. She ducked out from under his arm, just in time, but was tripped by a leg behind her ankles and hit the hard, flat mats.

Determined not to go alone, she whipped out a leg and tripped him too, catching him by surprise and sending him crashing to the ground. She wasted no time putting a foot in his armpit and grabbing his arm, a similar tactic to the hold she had used on Flare. Secure in her victory, she finally looked at the man she was grappling with, about to demand he too yield, and lost her breath, her arms slackening.

She fell into deep green eyes, a fringe of rosy bangs barely brushing his eyelashes. A grin had replaced the intense expression he had had at the edge of the ring, widening as he grabbed her leg and rolled over, pressing one thigh between hers and lifting her knee out at an uncomfortable angle, pinned with his other leg. He grabbed her arms and secured them to the floor on either side of her head, his full weight pinning her down. She tried to struggle, but found, with the exception of her one free leg, which couldn't reach a single useful part of him, she couldn't move an inch. She was effectively locked down. Not in pain, but completely unable to free herself.

Without being prompted, she murmured, "I yield."

"Well, if I let you go, are you going to run away again?" he responded, muscles still tense and pushed against her various limbs. Lucy tried really hard not to think of the thigh pressed between her legs, but it was such an intimate position, she felt herself getting aroused. Which had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the torso she'd dreamt more than once about licking from naval to collarbone was laying on top of her. Nothing. At. All.

"Probably," she breathed. Honestly at this point, she might have just been telling him whatever she thought would keep him on top of her. It had been ages since she'd gotten any, and his muscular thigh was just triggering her imagination as to what _other_ parts of his hard body might feel like. He shifted his hips at her response and she stifled a groan. But something about her face must have changed, since a single eyebrow went up on his. Almost experimentally, his thigh pressed the slightest bit harder on her core for a moment, and Lucy had to bite her lip and close her eyes to keep from making an obvious noise of pleasure. Did he have no mercy?

* * *

Natsu wasn't sure what the fuck was going on. He had left the crazy redhead's apartment that morning, still slightly hungover, and regretting the decision to stay there for the night. But he had been too drunk to drive home, and she had offered him a place to crash, and his drunk mind had seen it as a viable solution, not seeing the obvious amount of crazy behind her eyes through his beer goggles.

There was an unspoken rule among men about the ratio of hot to crazy that it was safe to stick one's dick into. Meaning, if you were going to fuck a random crazy chick, she had to be beyond smokin' hot to make it worth it. But even with that reliable rule, some crazy you just didn't fuck. Because some crazy you couldn't come back from. And thankfully, even Evil Natsu the Drunk had recognized that Flare lived in that special realm of crazy, so he had declined the offer of her bed and passed out on the couch, leaving as soon as he politely could in the morning.

After eating the breakfast she made him though. Because, food was fucking food.

But after the food, then he got the fuck out, safe in the knowledge that he would never see her again.

And then he had gotten a text from her. Fucking rookie mistake leaving his phone unattended with crazy while he slept. That was absolutely his bad. He knew better. Even drunk. So he got ready to shut her down with a generic, 'it's me not you' message but paused when he read what she wrote.

 _Hey hottie. A friend of yours just called and said she's meeting you at Metallicana's later. I'll see you guys there! *insert kissy face emoji here* Flare *insert little flame emoji there*_

Who the fuck did he know who even had the crazy chick's phone number?! They had just met last night at the bar, and none of the group he'd been with were girls. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to figure it out, and froze, catching sight of something written on his hand in black marker. He swiftly checked the phone number on his hand against the number Flare was texting him from. It was a match.

Fuck.

That meant his field of choices for the mysterious female had been narrowed down to exactly one. The Weirdo. She must have woken up and called the number written on her hand. He kind of couldn't blame her. It fucking said CALL ME! What else was she supposed to do?

But that meant she had spoken to Flare, and told her that he and the Weirdo were going to Metallicana's later. But how the fuck had she even known he goes there? How did she even know he lived in Magnolia?! They had been pretty careful about letting out any identifying details for their area of residence. It was kind of like a game they played, seeing how long they could go without letting something slip. It was just one of the many things about the girl that fascinated him. Sometimes he stared at his ceiling at night before going to sleep trying to picture what she must look like, but couldn't seem to come up with anything.

He had had fantastic dreams lately about fucking this gorgeous blonde though, and eventually he had just decided to adopt his fantasy as a substitute image. He knew it would probably make it a huge letdown if she ended up being a realistically-squishy, flat-chested brunette, but once the idea popped into his head, he couldn't seem to replace it.

So when he had cautiously walked into the gym and seen every guy in the place gathered around a ring where his dreamy blonde sex-kitten and the nutso-crazy redhead he'd barely escaped from were grappling in glorified underwear and boxing gloves, he actually thought he was dreaming. He dropped his gym bag and had to bite his own hand to convince himself that he was very much awake.

And the blonde was better than he'd dreamed her. Because she could fuckin' fight. She was fierce and sweaty and unbelievably beautiful as she took down her opponent with graceful, practiced motions. It was like she'd been putting people in locks since she could walk. Based on her comfort in her skin through the whole exchange, he would bet she could take down half the guys in the gym staring at her without much trouble.

For the record, Natsu was in the other half. He hadn't been beaten in years, when it came to an anything-goes-throw-down-knock-out fight. But as he watched her turn the tables on Flame (or something like that? He was really shit with names) he found himself wondering if losing would be worth it to have those creamy legs wrapped around _his_ neck.

And then Miss Crazy Pants was tapping out and the match was over. Slightly disappointed that he didn't get to see the beginning of the fight, when he assumed the blonde had been bouncing around punching and shit, he relaxed muscles he hadn't realized had been tensed.

But it turned out Flamo wasn't done. A curse escaped his lips as he saw the redhead prepare to leap at his blonde sex-goddess's back.

"Shit!"

The smaller woman's red braid swung back and forth violently as her arms locked around Lucy's throat, her feet struggling to try to press the blonde's legs in a way that would send her to the floor. For the few moments she struggled to breath and pulled at the arms cutting off her oxygen, Natsu panicked. He pushed through the crowd and was halfway through the ropes before his dream woman kicked into action jumping up slightly to slam the woman on her back into the mat, breaking the hold, and then, the next thing he knew he was watching her press a foot to her opponent's shoulder and demand she yield. He took his leg down from off the ring and hung on the ropes, relief washing through him. And then arousal.

Because...fuck. There was something beyond hot about the power she kept contained in that toned body. Why had he never dreamed about her wrestling in mud? Or pudding? Oh gods _pudding..._ and then he could lick it off her…

Natsu shook his head like a dog shaking off water. This was _not_ the time to engage in sexual fantasies. Especially when the real thing was standing less than ten feet away.

And then his attention was caught by the conversation between the two women, a couple of guys beside him turning to look at him as they heard his name.

"Natsu isn't going to like it if you maim me, you know."

What the FUCK? Where the fuck did this crazy ass chick get OFF?! HE BARELY KNEW HER!

The blonde laughed at her. And his brows furrowed as he heard a touch of pain in her otherwise musical laughter. She didn't believe Firechick, did she? And if she did, did that mean she cared?

"Natsu would be ashamed to call you friend, let alone a lover, for attacking someone's back. You don't know him at all."

His heart rate picked up as he heard her say his name, but his eyes narrowed further as he realized what she said. She was right of course, but while he was pleasantly surprised that she already knew him well enough to say exactly what he thought of what Red had done, he was less so hearing her call the cheater his lover. Did she honestly believe he would be with someone that nuts? What had the bitch said to her?

While he was sorting out his confusion, the redhead had finally admitted defeat and a cheer for the blonde went up, a couple of voices calling out to congratulate the blonde.

Only they called her Lucy.

His eyebrows practically met. Lucy. Her name was Lucy. Why had that been so easy to tell random people at the gym, but so fucking difficult to tell him when he asked?

And that's what was going through his head when she finally looked up and met his eyes. It froze him in place to have the full force of her warm gaze on him, at rapt attention. And then her eyes blew wide and she whipped away from him, leaving him feeling bereft. And she bolted out of the ring, making it all the way to the punching bags in the corner before he was able to push through the crowd, heading back to their various workouts, and catch up to her. He reached out a hand, intending to get her attention by tapping her shoulder, but his whole hand landed heavily on her shoulder instead, as he misjudged the distance between them and the abrupt halt she came to.

And the next thing he knew she had twisted his arm into a lock, and his own survival instincts kicked in, allowing his muscles to respond to her every move until, somehow, they ended up on the floor, her body trapped under his as he did the most perverted version of a lock he'd ever done. Like seriously, what? Was he worried her freakin' vagina was going to get up and attack him? If she wasn't so flustered, or tired from her previous fight, she probably could have bucked him. It wasn't exactly a textbook hold.

He was lost for a moment while he pictured her bucking up into him and he shifted slightly to keep a certain part of himself from pressing against her.

"I yield," her soft voice said almost immediately, and he stared down into her eyes.

"Well, if I let you go, are you going to run away again?" he responded, his muscles tense as he then tried to get the picture of her flirtatiously winking at him over her shoulder as she took off for a playful chase out of his head.

Fuck. He had been associating this apparently very real woman with his sexual fantasies for a little too long. It was a good thing they were in a public place or he would have already tried to seduce her. He liked to think he would have succeeded though.

"Probably," she breathed, clearly having no idea that the breathy tone was summoning images of her as Marilyn Monroe, wearing a his favorite dress from _Some Like It Hot_ that barely covered her tits. Except Lucy's were like Marilyn's on fucking steroids. He shifted his hips, as he felt himself harden a bit more where he was pressed against her leg, and his gaze snapped back to her face as her mouth fell open slightly. Her pupils followed suit and dilated, a stuttering breath leaving her.

Holy shit. Was she as fucking aroused as he was?

Moving so slightly it could have been mistaken for a muscle twinge, he pressed his thigh into her core a little harder and almost groaned when she responded by biting her bottom lip and squeezing her eyes closed. If they weren't in the middle of his fucking gym, with everyone he fucking knew within earshot, he probably would have just thrown her over his shoulder and locked them both in the locker room. For at least an hour. Two if she wasn't wearing underwear under that skimpy workout gear. Because that would fucking deserve a reward of some kind to encourage repeat performances. Natsu was a big supporter of positive reinforcement.

Instead, he dropped his head down by her ear and brushed the tender skin with his lips as he teased,

"Then, can I come with you?" He accompanied the words with a slight movement of his thigh and she let out the tiniest whimper.

Fuck him if she said no. Just, fucking kill him at that point.

"Definitely."

And that was how Natsu and Lucy met for the first time in person.

* * *

 **I'm evil. I know...frustrated much?**

 **MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Ok, I'll post a lemon for you tomorrow since I only got to one story today. Life intervened, what can I say? But I promise. A lemon for this universe and a little surprised from the pen of Lucy Heartfilia tomorrow to finish up my one-shots just a little late…**

 ***bows in submission* Please forgive me and accept my future smut as recompense for your disappointed hopes today!**


	20. All Fired Up (Lucy vs Flare Sequel Smut)

**Soooo, this is literally just smut. Smutty, smutty smut that happens after Lucy vs. Flare. This is not about love, because don't be stupid they barely know each other in this AU, but instead all about lust and the physical chemistry these two can't help but latch onto. And it's cheesy and glorious so I don't want to hear from anyone that any part of it was unrealistic. Because if smut were about reality it would be a lot less fun to read…**

 **I dedicate this smut to NaLuFTfanatic who is going to help me start a new religion centered on dirty dirty fanfiction smut. There will be sign-up sheets in the lobby following this fic.**

 **Now enjoy.**

 **But too much.**

 **And not too little.**

 **Otherwise, what's the point? ; )**

* * *

Lucy unlocked the door to her apartment building and stepped in, dragging the hot pinkette following her in behind her. The minute the door closed behind them he was in her space, arms on either side of her head on the wall beside the door. Lucy breathed heavily as she stared across the few inches between them, nervous, but also really excited for what they were about to do.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, his gaze burning into hers and his body subconsciously swaying even closer to her until there were only inches between their hips, and her chest brushed his. Unable to form words as another wave of desire crashed over her, she grinned breathlessly and nodded. She caught a glimpse of an answering grin from him before his mouth descended on hers and his body pressed her into the wall, revealing that he was just as fired up as she was. She opened her lips immediately encouraging the the exploration of her mouth as her tongue mounted an expedition into his. They just spent several minutes tasting one another and finding a rhythm they were both happy with.

Then, as he bit her lip and began kissing down her neck, Lucy tried to make her mind have a thought...it was getting a little difficult.

Yeah, they barely knew each other, and most of their short acquaintance had taken place over their skin in short, scribbled messages, but their physical chemistry was undeniable. The minute Natsu had pinned her at the gym, his thigh pressing into her between her legs, she had figured it was going to end up this way.

And honestly, she had no fucking problem with it. Yeah, she had barely any experience in this area (thanks a ton again for that _Father_ ), but she was determined to catch up with the rest of her generation, and Natsu seemed like the perfect test subject. This was exactly why she had started taking birth control pills when she started college right? For just this kind of scenario.

So she dug her fingers into his hair and lost herself to the moment as his hands left the wall and found their way to her hips. He thrust his hips into her, pinning her to the wall, and she automatically responded in kind, rolling her pelvis into his, earning a throaty chuckle from him against her neck where she could feel him sucking hard at her skin. One hand shot up and palmed her breast, squeezing in a way that made her wriggle against him, searching for _more._ She wasn't clear at the moment on what _more_ was going to entail exactly, but she knew she fuckin' wanted it. A burst of pain at her neck where Natsu bit her brought her back to herself for a brief moment.

Thank the gods for small moments of clarity.

"Natsu," she said, pushing at his shoulders firmly until he detached from her neck with glazed eyes and wet lips. "I'm absolutely in...but not in the fucking hallway." She gestured around them to the hallway of her building. It wasn't exactly a private area, though thankfully no one had come out of their first floor apartments to investigate. Yet.

Shaking his head briefly, as though to clear it, Natsu coughed lightly and turned a little red.

"Oh, yeah, that's probably a good…" he trailed off, lost in staring at her flushed cleavage for a moment. Then his eyes snapped up to hers again and he grinned wickedly.

Before she knew it, Lucy had been swept up over his shoulder and he was taking the stairs two at a time. Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ, he was strong! Strong, and hot, and carrying her like she was a fucking body pillow instead of a person. Plus he had both their gym bags in one hand while the other securely gripped her ass. He was like some kind of pervy sex god.

And a pervy sex god, he could still turn out to be. But one with no idea where he was going.

"Lucy? Maybe some direction?" he asked suddenly, coming up on the landing for the second floor apartments. "What's your apartment number?"

"It's, uh, hey!" she gasped out, when he bounced her a little roughly and squeezed her ass. "315!"

"Aye sir!" he yelled out as he bounded up the last flight of stairs, dashing down the hall to her door and setting her back on her feet. She fumbled with her keys for a second.

Which totally had nothing to do with the pinkette sucking on her neck again. It wasn't fucking with her concentration at all. Not. At. All.

Eventually, Lucy managed to unlock her door and push inside, promptly dropping her keys and kicking off her tennis shoes before literally jumping onto the man beside her.

And he fucking caught her, steadying her as she wrapped her legs firmly around his waist. He carried her quickly into the nearest room, which happened to be the kitchen and swept the random assortment of dishes off the counter into the sink. There was a sound of breaking glass, but they both ignored it. Lucy would worry about it later when there weren't hands tugging at her sports bra and releasing her massive boobs from their restrictive prison. She lifted her arms so he could pull the top off of her and moaned in pleasure as his lips descended on a pert nipple, pebbled in the sudden chill of air against her salty skin.

Losing her mind for several moments of intense mouth-to-boob resuscitation, Lucy pulled at his hair and gripped helplessly at his bicep, sliding under his shirt in an effort to feel the glorious body in front of her more fully. Natsu pulled his lips away from her chest with a pop and swiftly removed the offending piece of clothing, smirking at her response to his insane set of abs before diving back in to resuscitate her other nipple. He pulled her to the very edge of the counter where he could press his hips into her core. Which was getting wetter by the second.

Her hands explored his skin, almost frantic to feel every inch. His hands and mouth on her chest were stoking an excited and anxious feeling inside of her that pushed her to clench her legs around his hips and press further into him. He groaned into her chest, licking a path up her cleavage like he'd done in so many of his dreams.

"Fuck Lucy, I have wanted to do that for so long…" he immediately returned to her nipple, grabbing it between his teeth and tugging. Her cry and accompanying jerk in her hips nearly sent her off the counter, but his hands came down to steady her, gripping her thighs until she was stable again.

"Holy shit, that feels amazing!" she moaned as he moved to suck and bite her a little harder on the underside of her breast. He leaned back for a moment to admire the purple and red hickey he had left behind. If he could have gotten any harder at that point, he would have, staring at the bare-chested blonde panting in front of him. She was even better than he'd dreamt. And he hadn't skimped on anything when he had dreamt up imaginary Lucy.

He dove back in, determined to keep those perfect breasts symmetrical by adding a matching hickey to the other side, while his hands crept up her thighs, testing the waters a little as his thumbs circled to her inner thigh, just shy of brushing her core through the tight spandex shorts she wore.

Lucy felt a jolt of pleasure shoot over the short distance between where his fingers brushed her skin and the center of her whole world at the moment, where she really wanted him. She sucked in a sharp breath and squirmed a bit, widening her legs more, releasing the death grip her legs had on his hips. He released her breast with his lips, satisfied that her chest was sufficiently decorated with his marks, and straightened, his eyes meeting hers as he pressed her thighs a little wider, as though daring her to go as far as she could. Lucy, never one to back down from a challenge, planted her hands on his shoulders and lifted one leg, stretching it out to full length and placing it flat against the counter, her socked foot landing on the other side of her sink. Then she did the same thing with the other one, as he watched with mouth dropping open, until she was doing the splits on her kitchen counter. All those years of yoga had not been in vain.

Natsu froze as he took her in, his hands still circling her upper thigh, now touching bare skin where the material of her shorts had retracted to barely cover her core. It was one of the hottest fucking things he'd ever seen.

As he ran his hands down each leg and removed her socks just to see another few inches of her flawless skin, his brain ran in circles. Had he created this girl out of his dreams somehow? Had he wished upon a star in his sleep and been gifted a sex goddess as a reward for something he had unwittingly done to save humanity and the world? Because she was fucking fulfilling fantasies he didn't even know he had had.

His gaze dropped to the thin strip of spandex hiding her luscious sex from him and without really planning out what he was doing, he dropped to his knees, bringing himself to eye level with her straining thighs as his thumbs teased at the edges of the fabric barely covering her.

He broke his eyes away and found her gaze again as his right thumb bridged the gap and lightly traced over her covered slit, finally caressing the sensitive skin she was longing for him to touch.

Lucy panted softly, staring into his incredible green eyes as he ran his thumb over her again, making her shiver and her legs tense in ways she had never come close to feeling before. And then his eyes flicked back to the center of her world and leaned forward, breathing hot air on her covered core.

Lucy stopped breathing, a whimper escaping her a moment later. She felt moisture slick her folds, soaking the layer of fabric between them, and shivered at the sensation. Her fingers, already fisted into his hair, clenched and tugged the slightest amount on his follicles, beckoning him closer.

That was all the encouragement Natsu needed, closing the miniscule gap between them and licking a hot path up her shorts. The friction of the wet fabric made her moan, which escalated as his mouth closed in on her clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves without mercy.

Her legs came off the counter then, closing her soft thighs around his head and arching her back to press herself more firmly against his lips. If she had been in her right mind, she may have been embarrassed by her actions; mostly naked, thrusting her cunt at a man, who was still more stranger than anything else, like she was begging for him to eat her out.

Which was exactly what she was doing. Every part of her body language was pleading with him to fuck her with his mouth and he heard her loud and clear. They just had one article of clothing preventing him from giving her what she was so desperately requesting. And for some reason, maybe because he felt the frantic desire to keep this miracle of granted sex-wishes ecstatically pleasured so she would stay just that much longer, he burned with the desire to give the painfully beautiful woman above him whatever she wanted.

He reached up to her hips with his hands and grabbed her waistband, curling his fingers inside before removing his mouth and glancing up at her. She was staring down at him and, at his look, immediately released his hair and braced herself on the counter, lifting her hips so he could rid her of the inconvenience of her shorts. He groaned as he whipped them over her perfect ass and realized that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

He added women who kicked ass while going commando to the growing list of turn-ons he hadn't known he possessed, and tossed the shorts flippantly over his shoulder, forgetting they existed before they hit the floor. He was back between her legs, forcing them wide again and lapping at her glistening center before she could remember what to do with her hands.

She moaned and cried out, forgetting that she even had neighbors as he frantically licked up her juices, entering her with his tongue one moment and sucking on her clit the next in a flurry of sensation until it was all she could do to gasp in a breath between the continuous string of cries ripping from her throat. How had she not known pleasure like this existed? How had she gone so many years without feeling the excruciating pleasure he stoked inside of her with his unbelievably scorching mouth?

And then he entered her with a finger and she bucked into him in earnest, her restless movements finding a rhythm against his hand and lips as he thrust into her repeatedly and bit gently on her ball of nerves. He added a second finger, stretching her pulsing walls and pulling his head from the deadlock of her thighs to watch her face. He purposefully curled his fingers upward into a ridged spot inside of her and her moaning went up an octave, ringing in his ears. He added another finger and stood, using the leverage of his height to push harder and faster, his forearm beginning to burn pleasantly from the repetitive action.

Lucy leaned into him, clutching his shoulders and rocking her hips forcefully into his hand, riding it with no self-awareness or shame. Watching his hand enter her over and over made Natsu's hard-on jump, and his mind become consumed with the need to properly fuck the living daylights out of the woman he was screwing with his fingers.

With his other hand, he tugged at the waistband of his gym shorts, not making significant progress until her hands joined in to help, pushing the slick material and the cotton of his boxers down past his hips, carefully freeing his raging erection and letting the unneeded clothing drop to the floor.

Lucy panted heavily, moaning again when she got an eyeful of his impressive length. He curled his fingers again, which prompted a soft cry as her already soaked slit throbbed. Stepping out of his pants and his shoes all at once, he quickly settled himself between her legs and attacked her neck again, his fingers working her dripping sex while his thumb circled her bud.

She reached between them and grabbed his cock, pushing his hand away and using the curved head to rub at her swollen ball of nerves more firmly in a slippery motion that coated his length until he literally couldn't stand it anymore. He grabbed her hands, that still gripped him, and used her to line himself up, thrusting carefully with his hips until he inched into her ready, and waiting, chasm.

She was unbelievably tight, but primed and slick, so he forged ahead, sliding more of his length into her.

Lucy squirmed on him, feeling the simultaneous discomfort and satisfaction of being stretched beyond her previous limits. There was a moment where she equally wanted him to stop and just fill her up already, her fingernails curling into his shoulders as her nipples rubbed against the hard skin of his bare chest. She felt overstimulated, her hips shifting as he pressed further into her, groaning and grabbing her hips to cease her movements until he could finish entering her. And then, _finally_ , as she shifted her weight and spread her legs further apart, he seated himself in her to the hilt.

They both released a breath they hadn't realized they'd been holding and simultaneously took another breath together. Their eyes met and a dribble of mutual laughter fell out of them at their synchronized breathing. And then Lucy shifted her weight, her bare ass beginning to go numb on the hard counter and the last thing Natsu felt like doing was laughing. Still marveling at the way she closed in around him, he pulled back a couple of inches and pushed into her again.

Lucy gasped at the feeling of his friction inside of her, and wrapped her legs around him again to pull him even further into her. He grabbed her thighs in an almost bruising grip and rocked in and out of her in a steady, but languid pace. She could feel him pass every nerve ending inside of her again and again until she was setting the pace, pulling with her powerful leg muscles. Ane then he was leaning on the counter, slamming into her, over and over. Relentlessly.

Her shoulders smacked the cabinet behind her and he put his hand behind her, instinctively protecting her. She returned the favor by leaning forward and licking across his collarbone to his taut golden shoulder where she latched on with her teeth, playfully tracing a circle with her hips.

The combination of the bite and her little swivel seemed to short circuit Natsu's brain as he grabbed her ass and lifted her off the counter, using his arms and the death grip her legs had on him to thrust into her a few times in mid-air, before searching for somewhere else where he could get some decent leverage.

He stumbled to her couch, falling forward with her and using the momentum to thrust unbelievably deep into her. Lucy cried out and continued higher into a sor to shriek, nonsense falling from her swollen lips as he settled on his knees and adjusted his angle of attack.

"Fuck Natsu….oh my gods, right THERE! SHIT! FUCKfuckfuckfuckfuck. What the hell are you? How are you making me feel this fucking amazing?! SHIT! NAAAAATSU!"

He grabbed one of her legs, pulling it flat against his chest between them and pulling her other leg out as far to the side as he could, looping it over his elbow as he pushed into her at the new angle. And then all she could do was make incoherent noises as wave after wave of pleasure washed through her. Her fingernails dug into his arms as she clung on for dear life, her fingers clutching uncontrollably as he pounded into her, winding her tighter and tighter until she thought she would burst into a millions pieces. And then, just as she was releasing noises that probably only dogs could hear, he reached around the leg on his chest, pinching her clit and turning his head to place a wet kiss on her calf in the same moment

Then Lucy did burst into a million pieces. Or felt like it as her vision blanked into hot white and every muscles in her body clenched and quivered. Natsu continued pounding into her until the sight of her climaxing and the feeling of her muscles milking him became too much for him. He swiftly pulled out of her spilling himself across her bare chest mere seconds later. Overcome by a sudden quiver of fatigue in his muscles, he fell forward, catching himself on his hands inches above her, their faces only breaths apart. He stared down at her until her eyes fluttered open, locking with his. Tentatively, in the relative silence as their breathing slowed, she leaned upward until her lips just covered his. Then, unable to keep her head up with her exhausted muscles, she fell back on the couch and stared up at him in awe. Like he'd just changed her world. And, belatedly, some of the things she'd told him over the last few weeks about her past clicked into one alarming thought.

"Wait," he rasped, his throat dry. He swallowed and tried again. "You weren't...a virgin, were you?" He almost couldn't believe that would be the case, after the seductive hip movements she been pulling out moments before, but she had said something about never having had a first kiss about a week ago. He remembered clearly wondering how the fuck that was even possible.

"Well, uh, yeah actually," she blatantly stated, wincing slightly.

He pushed off of her, his eyebrows furrowing as he found his feet again, staring down at her body, boneless from being well pleasured. A little zip of pride went through him even as he internally chastised himself.

"Fuck! Why didn't you say anything! I wasn't exactly being gentle-"

"Natsu, don't you dare!" she cut him off, the way she said his name making his stomach flip, for reasons he didn't understand. "I just had the best first time in the history of all first times... ever! You are not going to fucking ruin it by treating me like I had no idea what I was doing. It was uncomfortable for like _a minute_ and then you rocked my world, so don't you _fucking dare_ start saying shit about my v-card. Now get over here and kiss me, you idiot." The bright, beautiful smile taking up half her face near the end of her little speech belied the harsh nature of her words.

He stared down at her for a moment before dropping to his knees beside the couch and dipping his head to kiss her firmly. She immediately opened her lips, caressing his lips with the delicate point of her tongue. He pulled away and gazed down at her in wonder.

"So, you were that amazing on your first fucking time?" he couldn't seem to let it go. He had slept with a lot of people over the years, many of them experienced in the art of pleasuring whomever they chose to screw that night, but what Lucy had just done with him topped his list of all time best fucks. His eyes glazed over as he tried to conceive of what a Lucy who actually knew what the fuck she was doing could achieve someday.

"Is it not always like that?" Lucy inquired against his unmoving lips, pulling his attention back from the imaginary Lucy to the real, and still very naked, Lucy in front of him.

"No," he replied bluntly and honestly. "It is definitely not always like that." Raking his gaze down her naked body, so innocently still displayed to him, he got to her chest wrinkled his nose. "Uh, sorry about that, let me get a cloth or something for you."

He got up and went to her kitchen as she furrowed her brows and gazed down at herself, finally remembering the white, sticky substance still spread across her torso. She scrunched up her face and looked away, happy to accept the wet cloth Natsu offered her when he came back from the kitchen, shorts once more in place at his hips. While she wiped off her torso, he ran a hand through his hair, feeling sticky with dried sweat, but sated. Although the brisk movements she used to clean off her sizable breasts were already getting his little dragon (yeah, he called his dick a dragon. Are you at all surprised?) perking up again.

Lucy dropped the soiled cloth on her glass coffee table and looked up at him, a speculative look in her eyes. He waited, curious what would come out of her next. Eventually she opened her mouth and said what she had been so carefully ruminating over.

"So...I have no idea what the etiquette for something like this is...but...would you maybe want to get some dinner?" Her arms crossed across her chest reflexively, almost immediately reversing course when she realized how sticky her skin was. "Maybe after a shower…" she added, scrunching her nose at him with a wry smile.

He responded with a huge grin, shucking his shorts before striding forward and throwing her, protesting loudly, over his shoulder, carrying her to where he assumed the bathroom was.

"Sounds great, Luce. I can think of about twelve different things we can try in the shower."

She laughed at the challenge in his voice, but couldn't bring herself to try and dissuade him.

Because it sounded like a damn good idea to her.

And she was determined that her second time would be even better than her first.


	21. A Flower Blooms in the Rain

**And this one, the last of the 21 I promised, if a day late, is dedicated to ShanaHallows. Because our conversations spark the most hilarious ideas... If you haven't gone to check out Shana's epic bachelor party tale Buck-A-Suck yet, hit it up and review the fuck out of it. It's hilarious and it's got a cameo of our favorite amnesiac drink in it too...hehe**

 **Anyway, enjoy this frolic into yesteryear.**

* * *

 **A Flower Blooms in the Rain**

In which Lucy tries a new style of writing.

* * *

 _Lucinda threw her head back against the brawny strength of Nathan's broad shoulder, as his brusque and ruddy hands stroked the petals of her flower, unabashedly stoking the fevered haze in which she floated, overflowing with wanton pleasure and flushing from her stays to her nape. She gasped in rapturous pleasure at the miraculous talent of his wondrous fingers, dexterous in the extreme, yet gentle in their coaxing touch. He might have only been the lowly hostler, forever sequestered with the horses, while she dined aplenty with the highest in the land, but he understood the rhythm of her pulsing sex, and the wild abandon with which she road: horses and men alike. It had been but a fortnight since she had last been able to vanish away in the night and steal to his side, but each moment of that time apart, her loins had longed for his touch, his tongue, and even his teeth._

 _And now that touch was driving her to distraction, her usually well-cultivated facade thrown to the wind as her lover of humble stock loosened her laces, with the use of only one nimble hand. When her bodice gaped and fluttered against her heaving bosom, he dove in and grasped her ample breast through the silky lawn of her second best chemise, pinching at her bud as though it were an unbroken colt being taken to reign. She felt that way herself when she was under the strong eye of her loyal hostler: an unbridled filly being coaxed in from pasture._

 _But then, huzzah, as his weighty mandibles finally entered her sacred garden, as he had done numerous times afore, her mind came undone, raveling away in the zephyrs of her most private place. She was cast asea, riding his hand like the sailors did the waves, staying afoot only by the virtue of his unmatched strength._

 _Her free hand, not kept occupied keeping her skirts aloft, found the fastenings of his breeches and let herself into his castle to explore and infiltrate the bower of his pleasure. She stoked his fire with her own devilishly talented fingers, matching his efforts stroke for stroke as she threw her head back and met his lips in a forbidden kiss, his rasping whiskers rubbing her cheeks raw as they had the palest flesh betwixt her legs upon their last cross-fated meeting. His mouth captured the moan she had vowed she would only release for the pleasure of his ears, driving his need to an insurmountable peak. His fingers plowed her field more roughly, his sweet kisses trailing to caress her neck and shoulder, the finery of her well-pinked sleeve driven further down her silky pearl-white flesh; that flesh which had never yet seen the light of dawn or daybreak._

 _While her delicate, yet vigorous fingers worked his wood like a cooper at his lathe, her forgotten hand kilted her petticoats thriftily into her riding-habit's belt before doing a touch of exploring on the svelte and sun-kissed planes of her forbidden lovers hidden delights. No nobleman had the beef and sinew of a man of labor. A man of burly principle and sweaty endeavor. Just allowing her mind to depart on it's flight of fancy to the fields where she imagined him toiling without the threadbare linen shirt hovering above her wayward fingers had her turning in his arms to mount him like the horses she rode so well. Just as Nathan lay upon their loving bed of fresh-heapted straw and Lucinda threw a knee over Nathan's_

Lucy paused writing as a message from Natsu tingled across her arm.

 **what the FUCK are you doing that is turning you on so damn much? I've got a hard on the size of crocus over here! A little warning would be nice!**

Lucy blushed and stopped rubbing her thighs together with a guilty look that there was no one in the room to see as the rain poured down in sheets outside her window. The steady rhythm had lulled her into a peaceful sense of privacy. And intimacy with her characters.

 _Oh. Sorry...I'm just doing some writing._

 **well, whatever the fuck you're writing can you save if for like another twenty minutes?**

 _Sure._ Lucy started to write more but stopped when she felt him continue.

 **and then call me and read it for me.** Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed it heavily down, noticing he hadn't phrased it as a request. A sly smile slid across her lips as she closed her writing notebook and went to make a sandwich. Twenty minutes would fly by.

And maybe Natsu could help her finish her bodice-ripping historical love scene…

One way or another...

* * *

 **hehe, I know, I'm terrible. but I couldn't resist fucking with the language on this one. Review with your favorite flowery and cheesy innuendos if you'd like to see a sequel...lol**

 **EDIT: A special thanks to the people who pointed out errors. They've been corrected. That's what I get for writing something in an hour and posting it without reading it through...**


	22. Nin-Nin Motherfuckers!

**A drabble for you while I wait for my beta to look over today's PAPI chapter...there may be more of these...it's going to be a REALLY big chapter. hehe.**

 **Enjoy! And keep an eye out for my triumphant return to Passive Aggressive Post-Its after a week off!**

* * *

 **Nin-Nin Motherfuckers!**

* * *

In which we discover the true power of being a ninja (and where Bacchus gets his never ending supply of booze)

* * *

Natsu stood tall and strong in front of his chosen brothers, in black from head to toe, with the exception of the white scarf wrapped around his head, completely concealing his pink hair and his face, except for his eyes.

He began to pace in front of the group of similarly attired men assembled before him.

"Brothers. This is our moment. Our moment to show the rest of our house that they were right to choose us. That we belong in Fairy Tail down to our very souls. This is our chance to save the day, and commit an outrageous felony at the same time! After all, what is the point to a fraternity that does not use the cover of the mob mentality to wreak havoc on the campus and show the students what it means to have a fan-fucking-tastic time? There is none! We are brothers in name, creed, and philosophy. Nothing can touch us as long as we present a unified front! Nothing can stop us! Nothing can bring our family down! Brothers, onward to glory!"

It was one of Natsu's most inspiring speeches. Particularly heart-stirring and blood warming.

Or it would have been, if his scarf hadn't made the whole speech completely indecipherable.

A newly initiated freshman brother of Fairy Tail leaned over and poke Romeo, whispering, "What did he just say?"

Romeo shrugged back. Who knew?

Silence reigned as the group of men tried to figure out what was expected of them. Eventually Natsu caught on that something was off and tugged down the portion of scarf that covered his mouth.

"What's wrong with you guys? That was fucking inspiring!"

A yell from the back of the crowd from the tallest, broadest shouldered ninja broke the silence.

"We couldn't hear a word you said with that scarf on, dumbass. What the fuck do you want from us?"

"Shut the hell up Laxus!" Natsu automatically launched back. "Alright guys, let's do this short and sweet then. We've got a telephone pole to steal in order to build a ridiculously large pirate ship for a parade we may or not even get to show off to the readers. Daylights a wastin'! Repeat after me! Nin-nin motherfuckers!"

"NIN-NIN MOTHERFUCKERS!" the group yelled as one, and ironically thundered after their leader, leaving one very drunk ninja behind to stare at them in amused disinterest. Bacchus took another swig of his favorite rice wine and grinned, pulling several sets of room keys from his pockets. He'd managed to lift most of their room keys and a few cars. If he hurried, all of their secret liquor stashes would be his before the "ninjas" could make it back.

"Nin-nin motherfuckers indeed," he whispered to himself with a grin.


	23. Group Hug!

**Group Hug!**

* * *

 _In which a little light is shed on Natsu's side of the hug in Chapter 34 of PAPI as they race on the train to Acalypha to save Lucy._

* * *

One minute Natsu was pumping out the 289th push-up on a moving train, the next he was hyperventilating as his racing heart pumped in his ears and he broke out into a cold sweat.

He stood in a panic, gasping for the breath he couldn't seem to find. His mind raced, trying to figure out what was happening to him.

Or rather, to Lucy.

She was either volunteering as tribute in a weird version of the Hunger Games, or being mentally raped by Pennywise the Clown, because her fight or flight instinct was out of control. He pounded lightly on his chest, trying futilely to stop what felt like a serious heart attack from killing him.

But that didn't help. His eyes frantically searched the cabin, looking for some kind of solution, and landing on Gray.

Gray was frozen in shock as he watched his best friend spontaneously freak the fuck out. He was sweating and red in the face and clutching his chest like he was about to go Temple of Doom on himself. And if it took him a little too long to figure out what must be happening, then the sight of his roommate gasping for air and stumbling around like a Magikarp out of water was a valid excuse.

Thankfully he did figure it out: something was happening with Lucy.

"Natsu! What's wrong?" Erza beat Gray to it, sitting up straight as she watched Natsu stare unseeingly at his roommate. But Gray barely heard her, hopping up immediately and getting in the pinkette's face.

"What's she feeling? Is she hurt?" he rushed through, waving his hands unhelpfully in the air around the pinkette, looking like a hermitted recluse trying to learn the arm-work to a Bollywood film dance sequence in real time. Natsu's eyes sharpened on him then, a little bit of focus coming back to his emerald irises.

"No…" he gasped out. "I think...I think she's just really scared. Like, terrified!" The look in his eyes was raw. For a second Gray saw the little kid he'd met first in therapy. Not the bluster and defensiveness, but the look of pure terror after the weird new pink-haired kid's first flashback. The fun- and fire-loving chem major looked like he was close to crying, his wide eyes almost glistening.

And then Gray's mind flashed to the beautiful blonde girl he'd danced with, and talked to, and texted. The reason he was here in the first place. He'd seen her with that exact expression on her face. The look of terror when Michelle had recognized her was almost identical.

Without a second thought, Gray stepped forward and hugged Natsu tightly, willing it to work again. Most of the time these days, he felt like an outside observer, looking in on all his friend's relationships. But this was something they couldn't do for themselves, and a little part of him - below the distant stoic facade - liked being needed.

The train car went silent.

"Uh...Gray? What are you doing?" Mystogan ventured after a moment, only to be startled again when Levy popped out of her seat, dragging Gajeel with her.

"Lucy's that scared?!" she exclaimed, and hugged Natsu's back, wrapping her arms around his waist and giving Gajeel a look that told him to do the same, or spend the next month getting all of the most generic tattoo orders shoved into his schedule while Erik got the interesting artistic ones.

Shut up, it was a very specific look. You had to be there.

With a sigh, he hugged the whole group from behind Levy, bringing he and Gray's faces just a little too close for comfort. They swiftly avoided eye-contact and huffed.

Erza immediately hopped up and wrapped her arms around the group from the side.

"I'm super confused…" dropped from Mystogan's lips as he eyed the group of twenty-something like they were going to ask him to take the red pill any minute, when he would honestly prefer to take the blue one.

"We are providing solacing comfort to Lucy...I assume," Erza murmured into Natsu's shoulder as she snuggled into the group with a grip that was a lot less snuggly for Gajeel and Gray. "Now come hug Natsu and do your part. You too Loke."

While Mystogan shrugged and essentially hugged Erza from behind, deciding Gajeel's solution was the only sane way out of saying no to the Titania, - ahem, that is his girlfriend. Loke just sat back and scoffed.

"Why? It looks like you guys have got it handled."

As one, six pairs of angry eyes rounded on the ginger, sending a chill down his back. The message was clear; if he didn't want to spend the rest of the trip getting his broken nose twisted, he'd pull out his Heart Ring and help them summon Captain Planet! Uh, that is, he'd get cuddly with the group for Lucy's sake...

"Jesus, fine." He got up and took up the mantle for the fourth side, slinging one arm around Natsu's back about Levy's head, and one around Gray's neck, standing as far from the hug as possible. Levy glared up at him.

"Gajeel, if you would…"

With another sigh, Gajeel's hand pushed him up against the rest of the group.

The sound of the wind rushing past the train could be heard clearly as the seven-way hug settled into place.

"She's doing better!" Natsu cried out after a moment, a big grin taking up his face. An answering one lit up Gray's face. An air of contentment settled over them all as they thought of their happy places.

Natsu thought of a campfire.

Gray a perfectly executed boxing combination.

Gajeel that moment when he finished a particularly intricate tattoo.

Erza thought of cake.

Mystogan thought of Erza.

And...Loke thought of _not_ hugging Natsu Dragneel.

"Can we let go yet? This is just getting weird…" Loke ventured, wiggling a little from his place between Gray and Gajeel.

"No!"

"Shut Up!"

"Suck it up!"

"Not yet!"

A blue-haired girl in conservative clothing walked past the doorway of their compartment, darting a glance their way and sighing to herself. She wished she had a group of friends to hug with. She couldn't see much past the broad back and long black hair of the guy closest to her...but it still looked nice.

With a sigh, she continued down the train back to her seat. It really was too bad she didn't have time to stop in Magnolia on her way to Oak Town.

Oh well, she'd have to come back and visit Levy another time.

* * *

 **What's that? I think I hear the fangirling screams of Juvia fans happening in perfect sync...how odd…**

 **And, I may have been in reference withdrawal last chapter, because here's all the stuff I shoved into this 1K word drabble:**

 **Volunteering as tribute in the Hunger Games** -...the Hunger Games. Seriously probably didn't need to list this...oh well, done now!

 **Pennywise the Clown** -terrifying main antagonist of Stephen King's _It_

 **Going Temple of Doom on himself** \- referring to any scene in the second Indiana Jones movie, _Temple of Doom_ in which the cult leader rips someone's heart out with his bare hand to sacrifice

 **Like a Magikarp out of water** \- sometimes fish out of water just isn't a strong enough visual image anymore ok? Sometimes you need Pokemon to get your point across! Ok, wait, no, that's not a world I want to live in...forget all of this.

 **like a hermitted recluse trying to learn the arm-work to a Bollywood film dance sequence in real time-** have you ever seen a Bollywood film?! Those random dance sequences are simultaneously amazing and ridiculously complicated. If you haven't, rent one. I recommend Bahubali 1  & 2\. Fucking amazing.

 **like they were going to ask him to take the red pill any minute, when he would honestly prefer to take the blue one-** obviously a reference to the first _Matrix_ movie. For those out there who don't rewatch this movie at least once a year, the red pill wakes you up from the Matrix, the blue one wipes your memory and lets you live in ignorant bliss.

 **pull out his Heart Ring and help them summon Captain Planet!** \- If you've never seen Captain Planet, then your childhood was incomplete. For some reason this reference just popped into my head when I thought of Loke joining a group endeavor to complete a common goal. Because he would totally be Heart...hehe. Also, he uses RING MAGIC! HAHAHAHAHA stupid pointless canon tie-in complete. Whatever, I do what I want.

 **Oh, and for those who don't remember, Phantom Lord was based out of Oak Town!**


	24. Adoption

**A little something to tide you over until the next PAPI chapter. MissVarta mentioned something in a review and it HAD to happen. Immediately. So I wrote this. Like right now. Have I mentioned I have basically no patience? Lol**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Adoption**

In which Erza feels the yearning to be a mother.

* * *

"Is it possible to adopt someone almost your own age?" Erza asked, eyes dewy as they took in the scene in front of her.

"Erza, don't even think about it," Mystogan sighed from his place beside her. He took another swig from his water bottle and handed Erza her bedazzled one. The little ridiculous things about her character still took him by surprise sometimes. She looked at a million reviews before buying almost anything new, but if it had a Heart Kreuz symbol slapped on it in rhinestones, she didn't even look twice before handing over her credit card. Which also had a Heart Kreuz symbol on it, by the way.

"But…" Erza pouted and trailed off as a feral female cry and the sound of a foot meeting the padding on Gray's head echoed through Metalicana's. "She's just so perfect! And now she's an orphan! I don't care what you say, I'm keeping her."

"She's a grown woman Erza. I'm sure she's not interested in being adopted."

Natsu's voice cut in then. "Come on Gray! It's just a headlock! There's no way she's beating both of u-OW! What the fuck?! That's it, I'm done playing around!"

"But she learns so quickly and…?!" Erza didn't bother arguing her side again, just gesturing behind her at the three figures in the ring. As though it were planned, the scene was framed perfectly for Mystogan by Erza's arm just as Lucy flipped Natsu over her shoulder and put a foot at his throat while she fought Gray's struggles against her hold on his neck.

Mystogan smirked proudly. He'd shown her the one-handed throw she'd used on Natsu. True, Natsu was severely hungover, and Gray was pretty tired from his previous match with Erza, or she'd definitely be the one in trouble, but... He cringed as Lucy released Gray only to spin him around and bring a knee to his groin. Angry Lucy was not someone he wanted against him. Ever.

"I DON'T CARE HOW DRUNK YOU ARE! MY STORIES ARE OFF LIMITS, GOT IT!?" Lucy yelled as she stood over the two exhausted boxers, stripping off her borrowed gloves and dropping them on Natsu's chest.

"Aye sir…" Gray and Natsu replied wearily from the mat.

"Come Lucy. Mystogan and I are taking you out for ice cream. We're very proud of you," Erza said, helping Lucy out of the ring and steering her toward the door.

"Oooo! I love ice cream!" Lucy replied, grabbing her bag on the way out and following the redhead. "Thanks guys!"

Mystogan trailed behind them. Apparently, neither he nor Lucy had choice in the matter.

Oh well, there were worse things Erza could do to him.

Then he grinned, remembering Lucy doing the throw he'd taught her. Maybe he'd teach her the quarterstaff next...


	25. The Raging Cockbuster!

**Sooo, I was going to start the next chapter with this, but I think it's better as a side-shot drabble. Takes place right after Chapter 50. Enjoy!**

* * *

"This is becoming a problem. They've been in there for days. Have they even eaten?" Gajeel asked, concern coloring his voice.

"I don't know. The human body can only take so many orgasms…" Levy replied, equally concerned. "This could begin to get dangerous for both of them. But they're addicted. Obsessed. Nothing could break the hormone-crazed fog in their apartment. No one can kill their libidos and save them! It's impossible!" Levy's voice grew faster and more hysterical as she spoke.

Gajeel grabbed her shoulders, just as frantic and hysterical. "What do we do Levy! WHAT DO WE DO?!"

On cue, Gray burst through the doorway wearing nothing but a cape and black boxer briefs. There was a giant red circle with a slash through it right over the crotch, and he carried a giant Olaf plushie. "Never fear! The Cockbuster is here! No one can match my cockblocking skills!"

"Oh Gray! Thank you! Only you can save them from themselves!" Levy exclaimed.

Gajeel nodded solemnly at him. "You're our only hope. Godspeed Cockbuster."

Gray nodded back and strode forward, brandishing his plushie before him as he kicked down Lucy's bedroom door, revealing Natsu and Lucy in compromising position, naked as the day they were born, the blonde brandishing a cowboy hat and riding crop as she straddled the pinkette.

Which was when Gray woke up.

Thank the gods.

...still tied to a chair, tipped over on the floor. With Loke reading a book on one of the sofas drinking a cup of coffee right in front of him. The ginger glanced over at him and offered a wave, before looking back at the book. "Oh, you're awake. Good Morning."

"What the...where are Levy and Gajeel?"

"They went out to get breakfast."

"Why did they untie you and not me?" Gray demanded, straining against his bonds. Levy really knew how to tie a fucking knot. For a moment he was reminded of the odd moment where she'd gotten the information from Lucy's dad's mercenary. There was something quietly terrifying about her.

"Oh, they didn't. I got out of it myself last night. I was really hoping Levy would forget I was there and wander in to shower this morning naked..." Loke shrugged. "When I heard them leaving I thought I'd come out and peruse her erotica section. It's quite impressive, if I do say so myself."

"Why didn't you fucking untie me?!" Gray yelled back at him.

Loke shrugged again. "Didn't want to wake you. You seemed to be having a good dream."

Gray felt his cheeks flush. "Nope, total nightmare." Because he _totally_ didn't secretly want to be a cock-blocking superhero.

Nope.

Not a thing.

Didn't want that at all.

He avoided Loke's curious gaze for a full minute before he came to his senses.

"FUCKING UNTIE ME YOU ASSHOLE!"


	26. Voice

**SOOOO, PAPI hit 2,000 reviews, so I'm celebrating by fulfilling some promises for one-shots! This is the first of 3 that I have planned. So, have a little Nalu moment that didn't need to be in PAPI, but I really wanted to write.**

 **The next one-shot will be at the request of rein serenity for a little Juvia time and after that, I'm going to shoot for the story of how Mira and Laxus met in this universe, as requested by . ! Thanks for your constant positive feedback!**

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When the bond had first advanced to the next stage, or phase, or origin opening, or whatever-the-fuck-they-had-decided-to-call-it, and Natsu had started hearing her thoughts, Lucy had thought it was kind of cool. Despite her limited experience with men, she had come to understand very quickly that they were dense about most signals women put out there, so having a boyfriend who knew everything she was thinking at any given time seemed like a pretty great bonus.

And, she couldn't deny that Natsu was as attentive as a boyfriend could be. If she didn't also know exactly what he was thinking, she might have thought he was neglecting his needs for her own sometimes. But it turned out, their hopes, dreams, and tiny daily wants and desires lined up most of the time. She'd even gotten used to experiencing his boxing matches second hand. (Thankfully, he didn't get too hurt doing it, so she didn't feel the need to take the joy he felt from that away.)

Still, she had grown up with an overbearing asshole of a father, who had cared less about what she wanted than the next modicum of power he could use her to grab, so it had been a major adjustment to get used to having someone just... _care_ that damn much.

And, objectively, she thought she had done pretty well adjusting!

But this was just beyond her ability to cope.

"Yeah, Lucy's got to take a piss so we'll meet you over there!" Natsu blurted out.

Lucy's face went white and then red as their friends either stared at them with surprise or tried to hold in their giggles.

 _ **WHAT THE HELL, NATSU?!**_

"Aaaand now she's pissed at me, so it could be a few minutes, you guys better go ahead!"

 _ **DAMN RIGHT I'M PISSED AT YOU! What the hell is wrong with you?! That was out of line!**_

 _What? You had to pee. I was just watching out for you!_

 _ **I didn't tell you to do that! I can speak up for myself, thank you very much!**_

 _But you weren't planning on saying anything. And it's honestly getting fucking uncomfortable. How small is your bladder anyway?_

 _ **THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT! Just because you hear my thoughts and know way too much about my bodily functions, doesn't mean everyone else needs to know too! Like when you just straight up declared I was on my period last week!**_

 _Oh no, you already got mad at me for that! You can't get mad again! That's the rule!_

 _ **Bullshit. That was a symptom, this is the disease! It's not just sharing things that I don't want to share you idiot! You're not even letting me talk. You've cut me off before I was about to say things like a DOZEN times in the last month!**_

 _Pssh. Yeah right. I don't do that at all._

Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and very carefully remembered all the specific times he'd done exactly that, blurting something out the minute she opened her mouth to speak:

" _Erza, Luce wants another piece of strawberry cake. Naw, a little smaller. She's thinks she's getting fat."_

" _Lucy's in too! Let's go!"_

" _Princess IcePop, your stupid music is hurting Lucy's ears."_

" _I know Luce. You don't have to say anything. I'm telling you, that skirt definitely doesn't show the weight you've gained at all. Especially in your ass. Now, can we go?"_

" _Don't talk to Luce today, she's sleep deprived and pissed at everyone. And she hates your shirt Gray. She's thinks it's stupid."_

 _ **And that last one wasn't even true! His shirt was hilarious!**_

 _...lies. I didn't say any of those… And his shirt was totally stupid. You would have thought so eventually._

 _ **I CAN FEEL YOUR WILLING DENIAL OF THE SITUATION YOU BASTARD! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME! And there's NO WAY either of us could get away with lying, so cut the bullshit!**_

 _FINE. I just don't get what the big deal is. I'm just trying to help!_

 _ **You're stealing my voice!**_

Lucy could feel her heart clench in her chest at the idea of it. She'd worked so hard gain her own voice. Just thinking about being silenced again made her remember things she wished she couldn't. Maybe science would catch up and she could finally _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_ everything before she'd come to Magnolia…

Suddenly she was enveloped in a massive hug, Natsu's vise-like arms wrapped around her own, locking her to his chest and pulling her up onto her tippy-toes. She squeaked as the air was crushed out of her lungs.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you. I just got a little…" he trailed off, nuzzling his face into her hair.

"Clingy?" Lucy squeaked out.

"Sure. That. Sorry for that. And being an idiot. And not realizing I was being an idiot."

 _Also, I am so damn proud of you...you just thought a movie reference. You're finally assimilating pop culture into your daily life._ Lucy could feel her eyes tearing up as his did. She rolled hers in response.

 _ **Very funny Natsu. But I can hardly breathe over here you know.**_ Her belly gurgled in an unpleasant way, reminding her just what had started this whole conversation in the first place. She really needed a bathroom.

 _Duh. Of course I know. Just give me another minute okay? I'm hugging away your bad memories._

The sincerity of his thought stopped her other thoughts in their tracks for a minute. Then the blush started.

 _ **You know, it doesn't really work that way...**_

 _Ssssssshhhhhhhh, let me have this._

 _ **Fine.**_

A half a minute later, when he loosened his arms, letting her slide back down onto her heels, Lucy felt bereft of his warmth. Before she could even shiver, Natsu shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her.

Sometimes...OCCASIONALLY...it _was_ really great that she didn't _have_ to use her voice with him.

"Ready to go Luce? I think there's a bathroom around the corner up here. I'll go ahead and let everyone know you're going to be a while since you also have to-OW! What the hell?!"

Lucy kicked him in the butt a second time, using the full force of her martial arts training. And a good amount of angry girlfriend energy.

"If you say a goddamned word to them that isn't 'She'll be here in a minute' I'll Lucy-kick your balls so hard you won't be able to speak for a week. Got it?" she said in a chillingly sweet voice.

Natsu rubbed his sore ass and glared at her. "You've been spending too much time with Erza."

"Damn Straight. Fear the righteous indignation of a disciple of Erza Scarlet."

"Do you think they're okay? They've been gone awhile… I hope Lucy's feeling okay..." Mystogan murmured to Erza as the previews for the movie started playing.

Erza smiled. "She's fine. She can take care of herself."

Mystogan just cocked an eyebrow. That hadn't really been what he meant...but he was saved from having to answer by the arrival of Natsu, sitting down gingerly in the seat next to him with an inexplicable wince.

"Everything okay with Lucy?"

Natsu opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, seeming to think better of what he was going to say. Eventually he just nodded.

Better safe than sorry.

* * *

 **There you have it, just a normal day for a pair of bonded soulmates with boundary issues...lol. Stay tuned for the next one-shots!**


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